Got some really despairing news tonight...
Floridamom224
member
My H came home tonight and was really under the weather and sad. He sat me down and informed me that he had received a call from the agency we are licensed as foster parents through. Apparently, they have provided Foster Son's case manager with two homestudies of adoptive homes that they feel would be a great fit for him.
Let me back track a bit...we are licensed as foster parents. In our county, they are licensing foster parents as just that...Foster Parents. They license adoptive homes whom they match with children whose parents rights have already been terminated and who are in foster care and in need of a forever home. They are pushing away from foster to adoptive homes, altho at times they do allow foster parents to adopt but it is becoming increasingly difficult for this to happen. They would not license us as an adoptive home when we reopened our home because they have a waiting list a mile long of people who are interested in becoming adoptive parents to the 2 and under age group that we wanted. so, all we could do is reopen as foster parent's and hope a situation worked out for us while we helped kids in need.
The agency the case manager works for is governed by our licensing agency. We found out about our lil guy from his Guardian Ad Litem...who works with my husband. She knew we wanted to adopt again and knew this lil guy was going to be placed into foster care because his ailing and elderly grandmother could not care for him anymore. She mentioned us to his case manager and informed her we had just reopened our home. Ironically, this case manager's supervisor was the case manager who finalized the adoption on our DS. So, she knew us and thought we would be a great fome for FS. So, when FS went into FC the case manager requested our home. Voila, he came.
The governing agency was a little put out that we came about the placement the way we did (I know, adoption is all about networking, but it seems that this agency doesn't like anything that is not their idea to be done). FS has been with us for over 3 months and we love him dearly and have made it very clear from day one to the case manager, and our licensing counselor and that entire agency that we would love to adopt him. According to my husband, the case manager doesn;t even know what has transpired bc she has been on vacation and the licensing agency provided the homestudies to her supervisor and told her to review them and see if she felt one would be a good match as this is where the head agency would like the case to go.
I am HEARTBROKEN. We should know by Friday is they are going to move forward with one of the adoptive homes, or leave him with us. I am heartbroken for FS and DS who love eachother very much. I know kids are resilient and they will both be fine, but it is still very disheartening and sad to me.
we have the option of helping transition FS to the new home or have it be a "clean break" if this is indeed the route they go. I know God works in mysterious ways, and he brought us this miracle pregnancy, and I know that he will look over FS in his new life, but it just brings me to tears when I think about it.
Sorry this is so long, I just knew this is the place where I would find people who understand and who can listen and know where I am coming from.
Thanks for listening.
Re: Got some really despairing news tonight...
I'm really sorry this is happening to you! I don't know what else to say. This type of situation is why my DH doesn't want to foster (to adopt) again.
PAL/PGAL Welcome
sigh. I know how your H feels!! My H didn't want to foster again bc of what could go wrong, but in the end decided he wanted to try it again first before moving to DA.
5/10 - Gideon 6/12 Warren
4/11 Started adoption process for 2 siblings through DCF. 10/12 Found out we are licensed! 12/14 Brought 3 week old identical twin girls home from the hospital. Could be at least until Summer 1015 til we know if they are forever ours
Sorry, dup.
I've been following your story, and am so sorry for what your facing. It's an outrage they could do that to your little guy and all the other kids in similar situations. I sincerely hope that on Friday you get a different answer than you're expecting, and that someone will have seen the merit of keeping him in your loving home.
And maybe it's too soon for this, but I also think that this is the kind of thing FL families should band against and demand reform. I'm sure you're not the only ones in this type of situation, and I think that a well-organized lobbying effort is in order to get the system there changed to ensure the fewest disruptions and maximum stability/permanency for these kids.