New here
Hello! Just wanted to introduce myself...my name is Nicole and my DH and I are looking at starting the adoption process within the next couple of years. This is something God laid on my heart before we had our biological children and it's something I can't. stop. thinking. about. I've read the FAQ section and found it extremely helpful.
Anyway - just wanted to say hi and ask a couple of questions.
1. Those of you who are Christian, what do you think about using a tithe to pay for the adoption process. Money is a big worry for us, but we are faithful tithers. I'm not sure how I feel about that idea. Like our pastor told another couple in our church who was adopting "If God has laid this upon your heart, it is his responsibility to pay for it, not yours." So I'm trying to act in faith.
2. The wait to adopt is largely due to us wanting to keep the birth order of our children. How long would you suggest we wait to start the process. Our youngest is almost 1.
Thanks for your insights. Nice to meet all you ladies.
Re: New here
Welcome!
To answer your 1st question:
IMO, tithes are not ours to spend. That 10% is God's and I wouldn't have used that to pay for our adoption. I wouldn't judge someone who did (it's not my place to judge) but I wouldn't do it personally.
Welcome. I personally agree with your pastor. I think that if it is meant to be God will help you find a way to pay for it. Now, that might mean allowing you to take a second job or do a WAHM business, but something will be presented in your path that will allow you to go forward.
Also, when to start depends largely on what type of adoption you are doing. If it is DA only for an infant, anytime is good. But if it is foster-adopt, that timing will be completely different.
Good Luck!
That is a good question! I have not thought about it like that. We tithe to our church but some weeks/months whenever we donate to an organization that helps people out in someway, we consider that our tithe because we feel like it will be used to glorify God.
I don't see anything wrong with using your tithe to adopt since, as Christians, the Bible clearly tells us to take care of orphans.
I don't have any answers to your questions really, I just wanted to say welcome to the board and please feel free to chime in or ask questions if you have them.
:-)
1. I don't really have an answer to this. If you feel like God is leading you to adopt, though, and you can't afford it any other way, perhaps God is also suggesting through your pastor that this is an avenue to pay for the costs?
2. You said that you believe God wants you to adopt. My husband and I felt this way, too, so I can understand. May I ask why you feel He wants you to do this? We believed that it was to offer a loving family to a child who might not otherwise get that chance. If that is what you feel, too, than I'd like to suggest that adopting an infant, at least a Caucasian infant domestically, may not be the best way to achieve that goal. There are a lot of families waiting for healthy, white babies, and there is really no shortage of homes for these children. Depending on where you live, there may be a need for families willing to adopt non-white infants. More than likely, though, it's the children in foster care or international orphanages who truly need families.
I raise this point, because you seem to want to preserve the birth-order of your children (which I do believe is often a wise choice). If your motivation is to adopt a child who really needs a family, and decide on a path other than domestic infant adoption, you are likely going to be bringing a child who is at least 18 months or older into your home. Each type of adoption has a different timeline. To fully answer this question, I suggest you figure out what type of adoption most fits your family and then looking at what the average timeline is for families pursuing that path. In some cases, you could start now and bring a child into your family that is younger than the ones you have at home, but in others it would be advisable to wait.