Does anyone else feel their baby will never develop?

alisonemma · July 2011

I have this weird, irrational feeling that my baby will never get any bigger. LOL. I see little children and I think, Anna will never be that big/be able to talk/be able to walk! I know it's crazy, because she is definitely growing and developing. I guess I just feel stuck right now, stuck in this time period. Stuck with all the limitations of a 4 month old!

Please tell me someone else out there feels this way!

apricoty · July 2011

My friend, who's son was also born prematurely, felt the same way you do ... it might have something to do with that maybe? It took him much longer (after being born) to become more aware and interactive and both my friend and her fiance did express how happy they were when their son finally started smiling, responding, etc. I never felt like that as it really took just a few weeks from her birth when she started smiling, while it took him months (he was 6 weeks premature).

But the truth is that around the four months, which your baby has not reached yet (development-wise you should go by the adjusted age), it does seem to 'slow down' as the first three mental leaps happen so close together and the fourth one happens nearly one month after the third one.

My feelings sometime center around not being able to imagine my baby as a 1 or 3-year-old because it's just so ... well... hard to imagine Big Smile

optimist13 · July 2011

YES!!! thank you, i thought i was the only one too! it's so weird!

alisonemma · July 2011

apricoty:
My friend, who's son was also born prematurely, felt the same way you do ... it might have something to do with that maybe? It took him much longer (after being born) to become more aware and interactive and both my friend and her fiance did express how happy they were when their son finally started smiling, responding, etc. I never felt like that as it really took just a few weeks from her birth when she started smiling, while it took him months (he was 6 weeks premature).
But the truth is that around the four months, which your baby has not reached yet (development-wise you should go by the adjusted age), it does seem to 'slow down' as the first three mental leaps happen so close together and the fourth one happens nearly one month after the third one.
My feelings sometime center around not being able to imagine my baby as a 1 or 3-year-old because it's just so ... well... hard to imagine

Hmm, well, Anna has been smiling and developing on track, from everything I've read. It's just her weight and length that is behind.

apricoty · July 2011

Hold on ... I'm confused now ... The last time I looked at your sig it also included your daughter's adjusted age ... Hmm ... I guess I'm seeing things then. Indifferent

alisonemma · July 2011

Yeah, it was there. I just didn't want her pigeon-holed as being a preemie! :-)

imleeann · July 2011

i feel sometimes that its crazy that he will ever be as big as like a 1 year old. its weird to think that he will be that big someday.

if that even makes sense!

apricoty · July 2011

alisonemma:
Yeah, it was there. I just didn't want her pigeon-holed as being a preemie! :-)

I don't really understand that. You know that developmentally, she is behind 4 month olds, unless she's ahead. You have to go by the adjusted age, that's just the reality of it. How you feel about it has no bearing on the situation. If my child were a preemie, I'd also go by her adjusted age because that's the age she actually is. There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with premature babies. They were simply just born ahead of when they were supposed to be born. That's it. So, being pigeon-holed as a preemie ... that doesn't really carry any weight or meaning.

But of course, do what you want, but don't get all upset if your baby, according to you 4 months old, doesn't do what other 4 month olds do ...it's because she's not supposed to yet.

This is not an attack on you, this is just me explaining to you that you have nothing to worry about. My friend also has a preemie and gave him food at 4.5 age (adjusted 3.5) and he had tummy troubles because of it, so she stopped and the next time she fed him it was at 5 months adjusted age and he was finally ready to ingest it.

By the time your daughter is one year old, all of these (really non-existent) differences disappear anyway, so this is just a temporary measure of keeping up with proper development of your child. I'm sure your doctor can explain this to you better.

on_the_move · July 2011

I know it can feel that way for about the first 6 months but after that it is just go go go. For example DS sat unassisted at 6 months, crawled and pulled up by 9 months and was walking by 13 months. Right now I am just happy to have one LO who stays where I put her.

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