Anyone else NOT freaking out?

Pina · July 2011

I am a FTM but maybe since I have been around many newborns and babies, I am not freaking out about the arrival of little one. The massive amount of posts about hospital bags (come on ladies, bring the essentials, the hospital will have what you need) things left to do, supplies to buy and lists of crap needed to be ready for little one makes me wonder if I am too relaxed.....

I have a place for little one to sleep, some clothes, some diapers and the necessities for his care and I got to be honest, I feel ready for his arrival. As far as a hospital bag, yeah, I'll get around to packing it, but it won't take long.... I have 6 weeks left before he arrives and things will fall into place. Instinct will kick in and I will get through this and take care of my baby without anyone getting harmed. If I have a question, I will ask. I will do my research and read my books and me and the little man will survive.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a pro, nor do I claim that motherhood is easy. I think it's going to be one the hardest things I will ever experience, but I just think there is no need to freak out about every, little thing concerning LO's arrival.

In a nut shell, relax ladies, 99% of us (there's always an exception to the rule) will be amazing moms and will know what to do. And if you don't know what to do, you will learn and ask questions and figure it out. For some of us, this may be our last pregnancy (we can't control fate) so enjoy these last few weeks with your LO and try to love every minute of it, aches and pains included. Big Smile

womancake · July 2011

I go back and forth. I definitely have days where I kind of panic a little bit. It's such a huge, permanent change, and the stakes are so high if I screw it up. It's not like when I ruin a recipe, and I can just throw it out and start over.

But the last few days, I've been strangely zen about the whole thing. I don't know where that's coming from, but I'll take it!

Ms5586 · July 2011

THANK YOU for posting this!! I feel exactly the same way. I think having everything ready and waiting (including my hospital bag? too early for me) leaves me with nothing to do but sit around and wait.

I know we all think the little things are huge things, and we've all asked our fair share of "stupid" questions, but really, this is such an awesome time in our lives, "don't sweat the small stuff!".

kleu9 · July 2011

Not freaking out over here. I think it's a mixture of things in that a.) we've got more than enough "stuff" for this LO and we live in this thing called civilization, so anything we don't have that we need...we can go buy. b.) I have full faith in doctor's and hospitals so I also have no fear of the whole birthing process c.) DH has also been very calm and relaxed. His actual comment was, "I learned how to tie my shoes, read, ride a bike etc...I'll learn how to take care of a baby." SO true.

BarefootAndSinging · July 2011

Honestly, if you truly think about it, babies don't need much. (Didn't infants used to sleep in drawers a long time ago? ) Nourishment, clean diapers, and some clothes/blankies to keep them warm. Everything else can be taken care of later. When you realize you need it.

That said, it is super easy to get caught up in all the "stuff." I mean if you just glance as BRU's registry check list I think it can very quickly get overwhelming for a FTM - trying to figure out what you really need.

I think I feel ready for baby. A bit apprehensive about how much this is about to change/effect our lives. But basically ready

ksiana · July 2011

I was definitely freaked out the first couple of weeks into knowing I was having twins. But once I over came those initial "what am I going to do?" thoughts, I have been laxed ever since. I was really relaxed during my first pregnancy as well. I think it just has to do with different personalities. I've never been a high strung kind of person, which I think has helped me in the long run.

BlueEyedBoyMeetsABrownEyedGirl · July 2011

womancake:

I go back and forth. I definitely have days where I kind of panic a little bit. It's such a huge, permanent change, and the stakes are so high if I screw it up. It's not like when I ruin a recipe, and I can just throw it out and start over.

But the last few days, I've been strangely zen about the whole thing. I don't know where that's coming from, but I'll take it!

ITA. For me, it's the fear of the unknown - like I'll forget to get our son a social security number or something. Just speaking for my own tendencies, when I get stressed, things fall off my radar (picture rushing to pack the car for vacation, and I forget my handbag...yes, it has happened!).

So, it's not that I'm super stressed about having the curtains pressed in time for LOs arrival, it's just that I'm afraid that I'll forget something really important once s*** starts hitting the fan. So, I'm making lists as I think of things, and that helps my obsessive, Type A brain feel much better.

And yes, I've seen enough hospital bag posts for a lifetime, too!!

kayak11 · July 2011

I have been getting calmer as my due date gets closer and closer. We have most of the things that LO will need to survive (still need to get CDs) and everything else is just extra. I was super overwhelmed earlier in this pregnancy when I thought about all the stuff I thought we needed and how much I didn't really know about taking care of a baby. We've completed childbirth classes that included baby care and breastfeeding information so I feel much more confident about everything now.

I'll probably still feel some anxiety but the whole thing is a learning process. I think it's important to relax and enjoy the last few weeks. After LO is here there will be plenty of things that I'll miss about being pregnant!

Pina · July 2011

BlueEyedBoyMeetsABrownEyedGirl:
womancake:

I go back and forth. I definitely have days where I kind of panic a little bit. It's such a huge, permanent change, and the stakes are so high if I screw it up. It's not like when I ruin a recipe, and I can just throw it out and start over.

But the last few days, I've been strangely zen about the whole thing. I don't know where that's coming from, but I'll take it!

ITA. For me, it's the fear of the unknown - like I'll forget to get our son a social security number or something. Just speaking for my own tendencies, when I get stressed, things fall off my radar (picture rushing to pack the car for vacation, and I forget my handbag...yes, it has happened!).

So, it's not that I'm super stressed about having the curtains pressed in time for LOs arrival, it's just that I'm afraid that I'll forget something really important once s*** starts hitting the fan. So, I'm making lists as I think of things, and that helps my obsessive, Type A brain feel much better.

And yes, I've seen enough hospital bag posts for a lifetime, too!!

Don't get me wrong, I am all about the lists! They keep me sane....and well prepared. Maybe its my OCD Type A personality that helps keep me sane in all this.

TheFannins729 · July 2011

i was exactly like you the first time. and you know what, it did turn out ok. i was even more prepared than i thought i would be.

this time my biggest concern is ds1. but, not really freaking out.

BlueEyedBoyMeetsABrownEyedGirl · July 2011

Pina:
BlueEyedBoyMeetsABrownEyedGirl:
womancake:

Don't get me wrong, I am all about the lists! They keep me sane....and well prepared. Maybe its my OCD Type A personality that helps keep me sane in all this.

Yeah, as long as I have a list in front of me, I'm fine. DH makes fun of me all the time for my Excel spreadsheets for everything...but it's my security blanket!

efsNYC13 · July 2011

i wouldnt call it freaking out. perserverating, maybe.

the main stuff left for us to do is set things up and laundry. need to return some stuff and get some toiletries, but i know that worst case scenario, my parents can help us get that done.

i started fixating on things like "we dont have any books to read him" and "we need to provide visual stimulation" sort of stuff. but even as i do that, i know it will be fine. trying to keep emotions distinct from the rational thoughts......

definitely havent thought about hospital bag yet.

womancake · July 2011

I think for me the panic is more over long-term things than little things like what to pack in my bag or if we'll have enough diapers. I absolutely love my parents, and I know they did the best they knew how. But some of the parenting decisions they made kind of screwed me up for a long time, and I've just now been able to come to terms with it and make peace with it at almost 30 years old. *That's* what I'm more afraid of--landing her in therapy.

Corbin30 · July 2011

Yup, but I am third timer, so it's understandable. I do read the posts and I smile to myself, remembering how freaked out I was the first time. Heck, even the second time. So far, the worst freaking out I have done is when I think "Wow, I am oddly calm about all this...OMG maybe I have a false sense of security....or I am having a mental health crisis and not realizing the gravity of the situation...or maybe I don't worry about this baby because I don't love him enough..."

And then I realize I am being an idiot, and I go back to being calm again.

womancake · July 2011

efsNYC13:
i wouldnt call it freaking out. perserverating, maybe.

I swear I'm not trying to be a grammar nazi jerk...just that this is not an actual word, and I can't figure out what word you are meaning. Help?

amandabt · July 2011

I'm SOOOOOOOOOO excited!!!!!!! Eeeeeeeeeee!!!

It's the first time in my life I haven't been a worry wort. I've learned to just let things go. Things will not be prefect, I will screw up, DH will screw up, but you know what, that's what makes it so cool. We will be learning together and I know this baby will bring that much more laughter and love to our marriage and to our families. We cannot wait to meet our lil guy.

solsburyhill · July 2011

In general, no, I'm not freaking out. I feel like I know enough about babies that I'll do just fine and instinct will kick in too.

I'm just feeling a little under prepared in the nursing department. So far I've just figured the lactation consultant would get me started and I'd figure it out from there. But so many ladies have read books, taken classes, are buying nursing gear, it makes me second guess my plan.

Pina · July 2011

womancake:
I think for me the panic is more over long-term things than little things like what to pack in my bag or if we'll have enough diapers. I absolutely love my parents, and I know they did the best they knew how. But some of the parenting decisions they made kind of screwed me up for a long time, and I've just now been able to come to terms with it and make peace with it at almost 30 years old. *That's* what I'm more afraid of--landing her in therapy.

I am terrified of screwing up my child! That is a whole different can of worms I refuse to open now though...... I got a few years before I have to worry about making him a nut job. Wink

lyse2143 · July 2011

Nope no freaking out here. I'm more stressed about stupid daycare and things like that but as far as having this baby and when he comes, well we will just figure it all out. He could come tomorrow, ok well maybe not, I'd like to eat cupcakes on Saturday and him to grow some more, but anyhow, we would figure it out. There is a whole world of unknown out there for FTMs, but guess what, people in the past figured it all out, and I will too.

mishele · July 2011

I'm with you. Things will get done somehow. And if they don't, that's what stores are for.

I freaked out a little in the beginning about everything that needs to be done, then I realized it was because of all the opinions around me. Aunts and cousins and friends and perfect strangers all telling you that if you don't have a pallet of diapers at the ready, your child will grow up resenting you. Once I tuned out all the opinions, I was able to actually enjoy my pregnancy.

You're 100% right, instead of freaking out, we should try to enjoy these last few weeks of having LO all to ourselves.

Pina · July 2011

amandabt:

I'm SOOOOOOOOOO excited!!!!!!! Eeeeeeeeeee!!!

It's the first time in my life I haven't been a worry wort. I've learned to just let things go. Things will not be prefect, I will screw up, DH will screw up, but you know what, that's what makes it so cool. We will be learning together and I know this baby will bring that much more laughter and love to our marriage and to our families. We cannot wait to meet our lil guy.

Couldn't agree more!

italnprncss78 · July 2011

TheFannins729:

i was exactly like you the first time. and you know what, it did turn out ok. i was even more prepared than i thought i would be.

this time my biggest concern is ds1. but, not really freaking out.

I didn't have this outlet for my first pregnancy. So all I did was read and ask some mommy friends...and if I do say so my self Justin is a pretty awesome kid.

I'm with Fannins, where all I am really worried about this time is how Justin will be with Anabelle.

All of you FTM freaker outers (I made those words up April will see it really isn't as hard as you are making it out to be. You just kinda 'know' what to do next

Pina...your going to be such an amazing level-headed mother!

bre86ann · July 2011

I'm not freaking out about having a new life to take care of. I AM freaking out though at the thought of having to deal with an estimated 6 more weeks of pregnancy and all the discomforts that come along with it.

Pina · July 2011

italnprncss78:
TheFannins729:

i was exactly like you the first time. and you know what, it did turn out ok. i was even more prepared than i thought i would be.

this time my biggest concern is ds1. but, not really freaking out.

I didn't have this outlet for my first pregnancy. So all I did was read and ask some mommy friends...and if I do say so my self Justin is a pretty awesome kid.

I'm with Fannins, where all I am really worried about this time is how Justin will be with Anabelle.

All of you FTM freaker outers (I made those words up April will see it really isn't as hard as you are making it out to be. You just kinda 'know' what to do next

Pina...your going to be such an amazing level-headed mother!

Thank you!!

I just think if cavewomen were able to do it without packing three hospital bags, then I will be able to do it as well!

veronicafvr · July 2011

I have definitely had moments where I am like AHHHH I'm not ready!! But that soon passes. I actually talked to my midwife at my last appt and told her I feel like I am being way too relaxed and asked if something was wrong with me. lol

italnprncss78 · July 2011

Pina:
italnprncss78:
TheFannins729:

i was exactly like you the first time. and you know what, it did turn out ok. i was even more prepared than i thought i would be.

this time my biggest concern is ds1. but, not really freaking out.

I didn't have this outlet for my first pregnancy. So all I did was read and ask some mommy friends...and if I do say so my self Justin is a pretty awesome kid.

I'm with Fannins, where all I am really worried about this time is how Justin will be with Anabelle.

All of you FTM freaker outers (I made those words up April will see it really isn't as hard as you are making it out to be. You just kinda 'know' what to do next

Pina...your going to be such an amazing level-headed mother!

Thank you!!

I just think if cavewomen were able to do it without packing three hospital bags, then I will be able to do it as well!

LMAO! I just love u!

Melett · July 2011

I have days when I do freak out and days when I don't but I hardly have the energy for a true freak out.. The only reason I do is because this is my 3rd dc! I work 40 hours a week and have hardly anytime to myself to prepare between taking care of my other 2 dc so I put a lot off..I have 5 more weeks tho and plan to do a lot at 36 weeks..I just don't have the luxury of a lot of free time right now..When I was a FTM my parent couldn't believe how mellow DH and I were..now I just have a lot more things to juggle..

alynjohn · July 2011

It takes too much energy to 'freak out'. I haven't been around tons of newborns/babies of the human variety, but plenty of the furry, 4 legged kind. I know how much I love to take care of them and I can't imagine how much more I'll love taking care of my little lady.

All we can do is take it one day at a time. I don't mean we shouldn't do some planning and preparing, but whatever happens happens and you just have to roll with it.

boxtonmom1014 · July 2011

I don't feel like I'm freaking out either. I did post the other day asking about necessities to make sure I had it all, but like you said- I figure as long as I have a place for the baby to sleep, something for him to eat, and diapers (and my carseat so I can bring him home) I'm in good shape.

My bigger concerns are about my own worries once he gets here. I had a hard time at the beginning of this pregnancy, worrying about it progressing and about bad stuff happening. Once there is actually a baby here, I worry that my anxiety will ramp again as I worry about his health and safety.

How neurotic am I? Worrying about worrying!

I am pretty confident that I know how to take care of a baby and I'm really looking forward to doing so. I've taken care of lots of babies, and feel like it will be a whole other level when it's my own!

tenfour · July 2011

BlueEyedBoyMeetsABrownEyedGirl:
womancake:

I go back and forth. I definitely have days where I kind of panic a little bit. It's such a huge, permanent change, and the stakes are so high if I screw it up. It's not like when I ruin a recipe, and I can just throw it out and start over.

But the last few days, I've been strangely zen about the whole thing. I don't know where that's coming from, but I'll take it!

ITA. For me, it's the fear of the unknown - like I'll forget to get our son a social security number or something. Just speaking for my own tendencies, when I get stressed, things fall off my radar (picture rushing to pack the car for vacation, and I forget my handbag...yes, it has happened!).

So, it's not that I'm super stressed about having the curtains pressed in time for LOs arrival, it's just that I'm afraid that I'll forget something really important once s*** starts hitting the fan. So, I'm making lists as I think of things, and that helps my obsessive, Type A brain feel much better.

And yes, I've seen enough hospital bag posts for a lifetime, too!!

Since you mentioned it, how DO you get a SSN for baby?

I'm not freaking out, but if you are, more power to ya. Everyone handles things differently.

supernat3 · July 2011

This is my first, and to be honest, I'm not "freaking ou.," A lot of people are actually surprised at how chill I am about the whole thing. This is all due to the following reasons: I just feel ready, I'm a teacher and have the summer off + next school year off with my job guaranteed when I get back (my school is 15min away), my hubby landed a great permanent job in the Spring, we currently live with my grandmother (rent free) saving up $ to purchase our future home, my grandmother lives next door to my parents, my other grandomther lives 5min away, and the rest of my family all live within the city...and this is the 1st baby in the family, and everyone is ready to help me with whatever I need/want, and ready to cater to me (and arguing over who has babysitting 'rights'). I feel very lucky and very blessed - which is why I'm not stressing and I'm enjoying every single second of it! I'm smart enough to know to graciously accept any help that comes along my way, as it will allow me to rest and be a happier new mom!

italnprncss78 · July 2011

tenfour:
BlueEyedBoyMeetsABrownEyedGirl:
womancake:

I go back and forth. I definitely have days where I kind of panic a little bit. It's such a huge, permanent change, and the stakes are so high if I screw it up. It's not like when I ruin a recipe, and I can just throw it out and start over.

But the last few days, I've been strangely zen about the whole thing. I don't know where that's coming from, but I'll take it!

ITA. For me, it's the fear of the unknown - like I'll forget to get our son a social security number or something. Just speaking for my own tendencies, when I get stressed, things fall off my radar (picture rushing to pack the car for vacation, and I forget my handbag...yes, it has happened!).

So, it's not that I'm super stressed about having the curtains pressed in time for LOs arrival, it's just that I'm afraid that I'll forget something really important once s*** starts hitting the fan. So, I'm making lists as I think of things, and that helps my obsessive, Type A brain feel much better.

And yes, I've seen enough hospital bag posts for a lifetime, too!!

Since you mentioned it, how DO you get a SSN for baby?

I'm not freaking out, but if you are, more power to ya. Everyone handles things differently.

My hospital gave me a form at discharge.

SwtPatato · July 2011

As a person who normally freaks out about things like this, I haven't freaked out yet. I've had one or two quick small moments but that's it. Honestly, it hasn't hit me yet. I think it's because the thought of it all is so overwhelming for me that I just can't bring myself to think about it. I'm just burying my head in the sand. I know that when this baby does come, I will figure it out and freak out then, but there's absolutely nothing I can do about it now. Not sure if that makes sense.

water-fairy · July 2011

I am not a FTM but I was 2 years ago and I was really relaxed. Everything went perfectly fine.

spidermonkeymomma · July 2011

I missed this post earlier-- I am not freaking out in the least bit... I know things will fall into place. One thing I'd like to accomplish soon is to have daycare set up... and I'm freaking out about having to return to work after maternity leave. Other than that, I feel ready and at peace-- which I've felt the majority of the pregnancy. I don't see the need to have a name 100% picked out, nor all the clothes washed, or anything of the sorts. It will all happen Smile

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