Blended Families
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Divorce Guilt
There has been some conversation in our household about "divorce guilt". We have been working to establish some clear expectations and guidelines for the kiddos. It seems as though I enforce them and my SO gives them the ol' "one more time" "one more time" "one more time" and oh yeah "one more time". He says that some of it is what he calls "divorce guilt" and does not want to be "that horrible parent" Both of us come from blended families as well. I am working to find the balance between both ends of the scale. Tonight, SO and I are sitting down to talk about how to be better "parents" and the rules. Do you have any suggestions for things to take into consideration?
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Re: Divorce Guilt
Kids do NOT benefit from inconsistency, and most children thrive in an atmosphere that provides some structure and routine. It's not horrible to have rules and to follow through with them.
So last night we sat down with the kids and discussed the "rules". The kids said to him "Dad, one more time." He had this look of "oh $hit". So, everything got laid on the table last night. It was awesome. The kids outlined what they need to do everyday from brushing teeth to putting pjs on. It was awesome. Then we discussed does and don'ts, what gets rewards and what gets rewards taken away. We created a couple charts for them to earn things and daily stuff. It was great. They even said that they love how they know what they can and can't get away with from me. My SO later said, "Thanks for being the only consistent person in their life. It really shows." All of us agreed that the structure is important. So, now we begin the process of staying on track and moving forward. One great thing is the living room and their bedroom is picked up which cuts down on what I normally pick up in the mornings. Awesome!!!
Thanks for your thoughts!