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December 2010 Moms
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I give in. I need sleep help.
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I've been avoiding all the sleep help posts because I figured Jack would just sort of settle back into STTN on his own. But things are just getting worse since he started crawling, and now even the naps are crappy.
I'll fess up to not wanting to read sleep help books, but wanting to know what the helpful points are. Our issue is mostly that he stands up and cries and won't settle himself back down.
Every night at 8:00 we get Jackson ready for bed, it's just diaper, jammies, boob. He is usually ready by then, and most of the time screams through the whole process until he gets to my boob, which makes me wonder if I should start the whole process earlier.
Sometimes he falls asleep while nursing, and I take him to his room and put him in his crib with a paci and he usually stays asleep. If he doesn't fall asleep while nursing I brush his teeth, rock him and read him a story, sing him a song, say prayers and then put him in his crib with a paci and leave the room. But then there is usually a bit of a fight.
Since he started crawling he pulls up to the edge of the crib and cries if he didn't fall asleep while nursing. Before he could do that I would let him cry for a few minutes and then go in, replace paci, and leave. But now he gets stuck and can't figure out what to do while standing, and so I have to go in before he lets go and smacks his head on the back of the crib. 
So there's no CIO.
He does the same thing for naps, except I don't nurse him to sleep for naps. Today was TERRIBLE. I had to go in over 5 times for each nap and lay him back down and he wouldn't settle down.
Then during the night he does the same thing, too! He wakes up 3-4 times a night and instantly goes to stand at the edge of the crib and gets stuck. I end up getting him and nursing him back to sleep. What am I supposed to do? Go in every time and lay him down and then let him cry?
I used to be a big deal. Now I'm just old.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I give in. I need sleep help.
No, I don't think he knows how to sit back down on purpose. When he pulls up on the furniture in the living room he usually falls down really hard on his butt after a while and acts surprised.
Yesterday when I put him down for a nap I heard him fussing and crying a bit over the monitor, but I let him be. Then all of a sudden I heard a thud/smack and he started screaming bloody murder. When I went in he was laying with his head against the back of the crib, so he must have fallen over backwards.
I don't know - this is tough. I think, if you're (rightly so, IMO) avoiding CIO because of your worry of his falling over at the mo, then I'd do what the other poster suggested and just put him down each time. The risk is that it becomes a game for a baby newly able to stand up. But I think it's worth a shot.
You have my sympathy. And this reminds me why we will re-Ferber asap - before she learns to pull up!
Ugh, I'm sorry. That does NOT sound like fun. I think that you should move bedtime earlier though - sounds like by 8 o'clock he's had it. As for naps...
You could try this for a while...maybe if you just kept going on, not saying anything, laying him down and leaving, he'd kind of "get the picture." If you're consistent, he'll learn quicker. But since he's hurting himself on the crib bars - I don't know! I'm sorry
Keep us updated please!
My little man at 0-1-2
This is going on in my house too... I'm *hoping* it ends soon because Avery has recently learned how to sit back down. She doesn't seem to want to when she's standing in her crib, but once she really masters it then I may try to let her CIO again.
What's been working for us (sort of) is going in, picking her up, and then putting her back down. Sometimes she squirms, but if I rub her back (she's a tummy sleeper) and sing to her, then she usually calms down after a few minutes. If she goes to sleep that way (and not on my boob), then she usually stays asleep for longer stretches.
If he just learned how to pull up to standing though, then you might have to suffer a few more nights of him practicing this skill. Try not to give him the boob every time though, because that's a harder habit to break. (I should listen to my own advice...)
I hate to say this since I never ever intended to do any CIO, but yeah, actually, I think that's probably the best bet. My LO isn't quite pulling up, but she sits and craws around and has the same problem. We've recently been focused on going in, laying her down, patting her back for a few minutes, then leaving for a set amount of time. We're using the Ferber approach of gradually longer intervals but we started with really short ones (1 min, then 2, then 3....) It seems to be the only thing that is helping her figure out how to get to sleep and stay asleep on her own. When I was nursing her to sleep with every waking it just kept getting worse and she was waking more and more frequently.
It sucks to hear her cry but she hardly ever actually cries anymore. She just kind of shouts if that makes sense. There are no tears on her face. She just yells for a bit and then settles down. Baby steps....
See, I have always read about this & dreaded it. So we've always had P "fall" down. In our laps, on the floor, etc. We make it a fun game. She pulls herself on on our hands, then we says, "OK, down!" And basically let her figure out that ending up on her tushie doesn't hurt. You could try that little game for about 10-15 mins per day, since he probably loves pulling up anyway.
As for the crying, I hope that once he figures out how to get down it will be easier. I have read some sleep books. I returned one that said to let her cry for an hour, because that's make me vomit. It's just not natural for US. That being said, I do let her cry sometimes, and mainly for naps. If she isn't escalating herself into a bad place, 1-5 mins is OK. When I do go in, I try not to engage her in play, but I will be soothing (if that makes sense.) Also, it sounds like Jack is a little too tired at bedtime - try to move it up 15-20 mins?
I hate to say it, but there is no one book that knows your kid. Just use your logic & knowledge of your kid when trying anything. If it doesn't feel right, it either isn't right at all, or isn't right yet.
GL & interweb hugz!
This is what we did, and now she just falls on her bum to get down, and it doesn't startle or scare her. I would be afraid that if I went in to help her down every time she pulled up, it would become a little bit of a game...I don't think that children are manipulative, but I do believe that DD would rather play with me than go to sleep.
I agree with PP about trying to put him down a little earlier. I think most of the books I've read have suggested trying 15 or so minutes earlier, trying that for several nights, and then moving bedtime 15 or so minutes earlier again (until it gets to the "right" time for him). Could you also maybe add something to your routine to help signal bedtime? A lullaby that you only sing at bedtime, or a book, or certain words that you say to him when he's drowsy?
Thanks for all the replies! I'm getting ready to put him down for a nap and I'm dreading it.
Last night was really bad. He fell asleep while nursing and I was able to put him in his crib asleep, which I don't really like doing, but he was tired so whatevs. But then he woke up 4 times before midnight. I was able to run in and give him the paci back as soon as I heard him fussing, so he didn't wake up enough to stand.
But then he woke up at 1:00 crying, and I went in and layed him down and he instantly rolled over and tried to crawl away and got super mad when I wouldn't let him. It went on like that for a while and then I had to rock him back to sleep.
This happened 4 more times before 3 when I let him just stand there and cry for a while. But DH thought he was crying too hard and went in to get him.
So I guess I'm confused. I can't just lay him down every time and leave the room and let him cry because he stands back up instantly!
I think I'll have him practice falling down like kgorman said.
Jen - bedtime is the only time that daddy changes his diaper and puts his jammies on, so that's kind of our signal. He usually gets it, but it couldn't hurt to add a special song I suppose.
My LO doesn't pull to standing yet so I can't give you any advice from experience. I did read HSHHC and I seem to remember Weissbluth suggesting placing them in the crib standing up so they have no where to go but down. He recommends letting them fuss until they can go to sleep.
I understand the desire to avoid another bump on the noggin but I think as our LOs get older bumps on the noggin are going to become par for the course.
No, if he's going to go to sleep he usually rolls onto his side and snuggles his blanket. But now most of the time instead of going to sleep he starts to cry as I lay him down and the second he hits the crib he flips over, gets up on his knees, crawls to the edge of the crib and pulls up and stands and screams.
I try to flip him back onto his side or back and he flips right back over and goes for the edge of the crib.
I totally just failed at giving him a nap. He was rubbing his eyes and yawning, so I did our naptime routine, rocking and a story, and then put him in his crib and he did exactly what I typed out above. I let him stand there and scream for a minute, went back in and laid him down, and he popped right back up, so I left him in there for 5 mintues.
He screamed long and hard.
I went back in and tried rocking him to sleep, and he was just done and wanted down on the floor to play. ::sigh:: I'm tired and frustrated.
Basically he's learning that if he cries enough you will go get him and let him play. Sleep habits are formed starting at 4 months and at this age they're def catching on. Instead of picking him up and trying to rock him to sleep, what about just laying him back down again? And again. And again. Taking him out of the crib just prolongs it and it doesn't get him any sleep. And it just irritates you, too.
He's gonna be pisssed, but he's at an age where he's old enough to self soothe, he just needs to be given the opportunity to do so. By going in and getting him, you're understandably trying to help and make it easier on him, but you're not giving him the time to figure out how to calm himself down. Kwim?
Yea, I agree completely. When I was laying him down and he was screaming I kept thinking, OMG I don't want you to do this when you're like 6.
I remember crying when I was little and waiting for my mom to come to my room.
I just think there's got to be some solution better than laying him down continually, though. It's like if he sees me standing there, he's going to think to himself, "There's mom! She's going to get me!" Otherwise I think I'm going to have to lay him down about 200 times.
We practiced sitting down today, so tonight I'm just going to let him cry at the edge of the crib. If he bonks his head, then I'll get him I guess.
Hey, random thought - have you lowered his crib yet? We are supposed to do that, but DH hasn't been home so I just kind of hope that P doesn't vault herself over the side for now....anyway, back to my point. I was reading the instructions for the crib & you are supposed to put it on the lowest setting once they can stand. Boo! That's so far down & I'm not very tall. But at least that way P can't pull up on the top rail.
And how did the falling down go? Did Jack have fun? Did you? PS good luck tonight!