Attachment Parenting

What is up with my kid?

DS used to nurse to sleep like a champ.  Now, when I can tell he's getting tired, I try to nurse him.  And it doesn't work.  He'll nurse for as long as about 20 minutes, his eyes might even start to close, but then he just wants to get back up.  At first it was just happening when I put him to bed at night.  Now, it is happening for naps as well.  But during the night, he'll wake up anywhere from 3-6 times to nurse and then go right back to sleep.  And he eats well during the day, lots of solids and breastfeeds often.

So what can I do?  I'm so sleep deprived and stressed out from trying to get him to sleep while he throws a fit.  I bought the book NCSS to see if I can slowly get him to sleep better at night and not nurse so much all night long.

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Re: What is up with my kid?

  • My son started doing the same a few months back.  It started with naptimes, he was fighting sleep to stay latched on.  So, we switched to nursing and then doing the rest of the nap routine, and then rocking to sleep.  Eventually we did the same at bedtime.  Gradually he just starting giving cues that our current routine wasn't working.  Now he nurses, does his bed routine, we sing/rock for a few minutes, then he goes down while awake into his bed and puts himself to sleep.  (I'm not trying to make it sound like it was easy, because it's always been awful trying to get him to take a nap, and he took his naps on me until he was 8 or 9 months old, never in his crib.)

    I guess all I am saying is maybe he needs a change?

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    imageshaunna&chad:

    My son started doing the same a few months back.  It started with naptimes, he was fighting sleep to stay latched on.  So, we switched to nursing and then doing the rest of the nap routine, and then rocking to sleep.  Eventually we did the same at bedtime.  Gradually he just starting giving cues that our current routine wasn't working.  Now he nurses, does his bed routine, we sing/rock for a few minutes, then he goes down while awake into his bed and puts himself to sleep.  (I'm not trying to make it sound like it was easy, because it's always been awful trying to get him to take a nap, and he took his naps on me until he was 8 or 9 months old, never in his crib.)

    I guess all I am saying is maybe he needs a change?

    This sounds almost exactly like us!  This afternoon I had tried to nurse him several times and he wouldn't sleep even though he seemed tired.  So I eventually just took him upstairs and rocked him (while he threw a fit) and it only took 10 minutes.  That was better than the 45 minutes it took to get him to nap this morning (after trying multiple things).  I think I may just keep trying the rocking thing.  He has also always napped on me or DH.  Time for a change I guess! 

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  • I don't have much advice 'cause we're still fine-tuning our sleep situation, but my son no longer will nurse to sleep either. I know that that is a goal sometimes for people to break the nurse-to-sleep association, but it has made naps and bedtime SO much harder! Stick out tongue He'll be so obviously sleepy, nursing, and then sits up in my lap wide-eyed and fussy because he's tired! Rocking to sleep isn't working much either, 'cause he wiggles and wrestles me.

    What's working for us at the moment is laying him down in his crib (we sidecar), and I lay next to him/near him, pat his bottom, and shh-shh until he falls asleep. I'm working on trying to get him to associate his sleepy time with his glowworm thing and a white noise machine, so I'm hoping that will help him fall asleep more easily. He still wakes in the night as well, so I feel your pain on this.

    Good luck, mama.


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  • Yep - they stop nursing to sleep at some point.  When DD did this, I let her get up and "run around" in our dark room (cosleepers here) until she fell asleep.  At first, she was allowed "free roam" (but it's my bedroom, so there are no toys, and the bed is low enough she is totally able to get up/down on her down).  Now she is required to stay in bed.  (A lot of picking her up and putting her back down, while I lay in bed too.)

    Sometimes is takes longer than others for her to get to sleep, and it's KEY for us that we try putting her down at the appropriate time in her sleep/wake cycle for it to not take 90 minutes.

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  • We rock to sleep all the time now and have for a while now.
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  • When this started for us, I would put A in her crib and sit next to her until she settled down and went to sleep. I would put her back down the first time she got up, but after that I wouldn't. I would rub her back at first and stop once she was settled. I tried not to talk too much. It took over an hour the first time, but eventually she would fall asleep much sooner. This worked for a month or so, as she figured out how to fall asleep without nursing. 
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