Afraid of doing this without a little help
Jlroberts57
member
although im extremely greatful my husband will be home when i deliver, i am still very anxious about taking care of a newborn. mostly because ive 1) never done this before and 2) it will literally just be myself and DH, because no one is going to be able to come visit for the birth. If we do get visitors, they may only be able to stay for a few days at the most. Ive just started thinking lately about all the things we will have to juggle on our own like taking care of baby, as well as dishes, laundry, cooking, and our two dogs! I know that my husband will be a big help, but it just seems so overwhelming and an extra hand around the house sounds sooo amazing.
does anyone have experience doing this all on your own? or just yourself and DH? it prob isnt as bad as im picturing, but i cant help but bite my nails a little bit! on the flip side it might be really good for us as a bonding experience with our baby (we dont get along the greatest with everyone in our family) and so having visitors left and right would prob irritate the crap out of me too!
Re: Afraid of doing this without a little help
You will have days when you want to cry, but you will manage. I have four kids between the ages of 12 and 3. There are days I want to pull my hair out or run join the circus. When I start to feel like that, I go shut my self in my room or sit on the porch and count to 100 while I breath slowly. I feel better and carry on.
Taking care of a newborn and getting into a routine takes some time. Be patient don't get frustrated. If the laundry doesn't get washed one day or the floor doesn't get mopped, don't worry about it. Do what you can and then get your H to help out in the evenings and weekends.
You can do it. Don't freak out.
I am so nervous about doing this on my own as well, but I thankfully have made wondeful friends who have offered their support. Do you not know any other wives near by---If so I'm sure that they would be more than happy to help in any way they can! The one thing I love about military life is the fact you can make friends with people who have likely been through things you are going through already and give you great advice and help. I hope that you can find friends like that before your LO arrives!
Babies sleep a TON. And while having a newborn is stressful, I never felt like I couldn't get the basics done on my own. DH and I have chosen not to have "help" from family after the birth of our babies. We have enjoyed having that time to bond as a family. I usually am ready for visitors (more than a few hours at a time) after 3 or 4 weeks.
Most of this is in your head. Yes, it is your first baby and you are going to be stressed. But it won't be because you have a zillion things to do. Babies eat, sleep, and need diaper changes. Having meals on hand (frozen) and not being afraid of paper plates and take-out for a few weeks might also lower your stress level.
The moral - you will be completely 100% fine.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
Your do fine. It's a big change in our lives but we learn what to do. It's going to be long nights and things like that but we just have to look at the bright side and look how cute our babies are going to be. Stay positive.