I've hit the wall-long (vent)

msjcordova · July 2011

**Disclaimer- I know some ladies from IF and IF Vets often lurk here and I want to give those of you a heads up. I can remember lurking here on this board when I was in the midst of my IF treatment and could not understand for the life of me how these women who wanted to be pregnant so bad could be complaing about the one thing I would have given my life for. I strongly believe that the road of IF and the road of Pregnancy are vastly different, so please note that this is one of those posts**

I hit my wall tonight but at least DW was here with me. After trying to sleep for what felt like forever and having to get up to pee like always for the 10th time and then finally laying down in the recliner only to have DW come in and say " Its almost time to take me to work", I lost it.

I started crying while I was in a downward dog type position to help ease my back pain and kept telling DW "I don't want to do this again. I don't think I could do this again" and her rubbing my back telling me " You don't have to, I wont force you to. Baby you don't have to" I knew I had hit my wall. It felt like all of the things that have happened during this pregnancy ( the bleeding at 6w, 9w and 21w, the shortened cervix, the possible preterm labor, the bed rest etc) all came down at once and hit me like a ton of bricks and all I could do was cry.

I in no way mean to say that I cant wait for this to be over because in spite of the wall being hit, I know that this will be the last few weeks of my life where I will be pregnant, that I will have my baby girl all to my self and how much safer it is for her to be inside then out. I in no want want to go into labor early, im only looking towards the light at the end of the tunnel.

If you made it this far, I applaud you. Thanks for letting me vent ladies and also for always being so supportive!

Sunshine05 · July 2011

I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed right now. I hope you can find some relief soon and enjoy these last few weeks with your little girl all to yourself. *hugs*

kkdavie15 · July 2011

I'm sorry that you have reached that breaking point. I truely agree that IF and pregnancy and two very different journeys and both difficult in their own rights. You have have every right to be feeling the way you are now. Sometimes just crying and venting and getting it off you chest makes you feel so much better and will help give you the fortitude to continue

Do your best to enjoy having your little girl all to yourself for these last few weeks and in no time at all you will have her in your arms! You are doing a great job!!

grazy · July 2011

I know how you feel!

mainesmichelle · July 2011

I hope you are feeling better!!

Temp616379875002458 · July 2011

Pardon the iphone paragraph: A lot of us are right there with you! I hit the wall just about the same time as you - around 35 weeks - after being on bedrest for only a few days. Pregnancy isn't easy - yours hasn't been easy - and in the end when you're too big to sleep comfortably, that only exacerbates everything. (plus I'm just weepy!!!! I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that we are getting a take home baby!). It's okay to cry and feel a little down.. Hang in there! You're in the home stretch! You can do it!!!! And you and DW are going to be awesome moms! ((hugs))

etoyama · July 2011

Aw hon, I'm sorry! You are in no way crazy for feeling this way. It doesn't mean you wish you weren't pregnant and having this baby. Big (((HUGS))) Pregnancy is hard!

BathingInBitter · July 2011

Like a few other people have said, pregnancy is hard and I also think that it's scarey. I speak for myself when I say this - but I think IF makes being pregnant worse and what I mean by that is about 35w or so I was just ready to meet her. Always afraid of the other shoe dropping and being uncomfortable, hot, can't sleep, peeing all the time, backaches, charlie horses, etc.. you just want to hold that baby in your arms.

What you're feeling is totally normal. And just a suggestion if you feel comfortable with it, maybe go get yourself a prenatal massage. I hear they are a tremoundous help with the aches and pains of pregnancy and can also help with the swelling if you're having any.

Hang in there Momma. Your little girl will be here soon and all those feelings you're having right now will fade away. ((HUGS)) You're doing a great job of baking her - only a few more weeks to go.

jcath · July 2011

I think your feelings are very normal and valid and very much a part of concluding a pregnancy - your body needs to make you want to be done with this...and it's just so damn uncomfortable. Hang in there!

scooterq · July 2011

BathingInBitter:

Like a few other people have said, pregnancy is hard and I also think that it's scarey. I speak for myself when I say this - but I think IF makes being pregnant worse and what I mean by that is about 35w or so I was just ready to meet her. Always afraid of the other shoe dropping and being uncomfortable, hot, can't sleep, peeing all the time, backaches, charlie horses, etc.. you just want to hold that baby in your arms.

What you're feeling is totally normal. And just a suggestion if you feel comfortable with it, maybe go get yourself a prenatal massage. I hear they are a tremoundous help with the aches and pains of pregnancy and can also help with the swelling if you're having any.

Hang in there Momma. Your little girl will be here soon and all those feelings you're having right now will fade away. ((HUGS)) You're doing a great job of baking her - only a few more weeks to go.

I couldn't agree with this more. Being PAIF is scary. I think many of us worry...a lot.

Sorry your feeling at the end of your rope, I think it's so understandable. Hang in there sweetie. She's almost here!

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