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Attachment Parenting
KittyKatMom
member
What is the AP way to handle refusal to brush teeth?
KittyKatMom
member
Or refusal to do anything else health-related that needs to be done? DS is usually pretty good about brushing his teeth, but sometimes he refuses. He closes his mouth and runs away, or thrashes around if I'm holding him. I don't want to hold him down and force his mouth open, but I don't want his teeth to rot either. Thoughts? Do I just keep trying different ways to get him to cooperate vs. just getting it done?
"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world." - Jack Layton
BFP #2 12/26/11 ~ EDD 9/6/12 ~ MMC discovered on 1/27/12 @ 8w1d (measured 6w2d)
BFP #3 8/10/12 ~ EDD 4/23/13 ~ MMC discovered on 9/13/12 @ 8w2d (measured 6w6d)
BFP #2 12/26/11 ~ EDD 9/6/12 ~ MMC discovered on 1/27/12 @ 8w1d (measured 6w2d)
BFP #3 8/10/12 ~ EDD 4/23/13 ~ MMC discovered on 9/13/12 @ 8w2d (measured 6w6d)
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Re: What is the AP way to handle refusal to brush teeth?
Getting in there and doing whatever it is with DD usually does the trick if she's particularly against a necessary activity. So, for teeth brushing, I propose we do it together and that usually gets her. If not, then I pick up her beloved Dora toothbrush and act like I am about to use it myself (is this unnecessarily cruel?). That definitely gets her to jump up, grab it out of my hand and put it in her own mouth. I make sure it has the toothpaste on it first, of course.
In general, though, I make sure DD loves everything associated with the tooth brushing experience- she picked out her own toothbrush (said Dora brush, it's electric, too, which is extra fun), her own toothpaste (Oral-B Disney princesses, despite my preference for healthier brands like Tom's) and her own toothbrush holder & cup for rinsing (Dora, again). I even got her one-use-kid flossers with cool little shapes- princesses, etc. She'll grab those and floss just about any time of day.
My bathroom sink basically looks like Nickelodeon and Disney exploded on it, but it works!
this was just posted the other day and people said they have a lot of luck pretending there is an animal in LO's mouth, and making it a game like they have to brush the animals away. or talking about all the food LO ate that day and discovering it in their mouth, and talking about brushing each kind of food away as they go.
for us NOTHING has worked that well. she's 2.5 now and we've tried it all (and have every toothbrush, paste, etc known to man). we have a tooth brushing book with a song, and have even had her stuffed animals brush her teeth for her. some nights one of those things will work a little, and she's starting to get better at letting her dad help brush (cuz he's softer at it, apparently, she tells me).
all that has made the difference for us is time. at one year we mostly still had to hold her down.
my dentist told me that it's so important, she'll hold her kid between her legs with arms/legs pinned down... we tried not to be that harsh but some nights it was faster and easier to do that for 2 mins than to keep coaxing and arguing with her for 30 mins to open her darn mouth! i hope you find a good solution, it's no fun!!
This is what I do, sans the singing....but i like the idea of singing and DS loves to sing/hear others sing, so I think I will start to incorporate that tomorrow. Thanks for the idea
Luckily DS doesn't really fight me though. Right now he's cutting a tooth and he wants to chew on the the toothbrush. So, getting enough actual brushing time is a challenge, but he lets me put the toothbrush in his mouth with no problems.
That's what we ended up doing as well until 2yrs+. There are great ideas posted above but sometimes you run out of creative juice, enthusiasm and time and you realize you could be spending the half hour doing something that is actually enjoyable like reading, playing or snuggling.
You can sit with your legs out and nestle LO's head between your knees (LO's legs facing away from you). It used to be a 2 person job for us because I needed DH to hold DD in addition to this. The upside of LO crying is that they have their mouth open an you can be more efficient.
DD is 2.5 now and I can almost always brush her teeth now and keep it fun. She's into counting so we do stuff like set a timer to watch, count the teeth I'm flossing, etc. We always talk about why we're brushing and why it's important. I let her brush on her own when we've done our minimum.
Most kids need help to brush properly until they are at least 6 yrs old. IMO, toothbrushing falls into a health & safety category where getting it done outweighs being AP at the end of the day.
I'm curious about what you mean by "help" here. As in- supervision or actually jamming the toothbrush in there yourself? I know a lot of parents who still brush their kids' teeth for them, but DD's dentist says it's really important that the kid (at DD's age, at least, not younger) feel responsible for their own mouth and teeth and brush their teeth themselves to create a lifelong good habit. I can't imagine how miserable tooth brushing time would be for both of us if I had to do it for her until she turned 6...
I heard that from our first dentist - help until they can write their name neatly - which I took to mean that's when they'll have the manual dexterity to brush properly.
If you look around there's a range from 5 to 8 and perhaps longer for flossing.
AAPD says brush & floss for preschoolers (I guess that's until age 4?) and supervise until 7 or 8:
https://www.aapd.org/hottopics/news.asp?news_id=433
Parents.com says brush for them until ~ 6:
As a general rule, dentists suggest you brush and floss your child's teeth for him until he's coordinated enough to tie his own shoes, usually around age 6.
https://www.parents.com/advice/big-kids/hygiene/when-can-my-child-brush-his-own-teeth/
There are products that stain plaque so that could be one way to gauge whether a kid is brushing effectively on their own.
ITA about setting up LO's to feel responsible for taking care of their teeth. I think it can be done without sacrificing a good brushing job while their development catches up to accomplish the task without help. For example, they can do an extra bushing after lunch or snack, get brushing started and you finish or the other way around.
Have you talked to him about why he doesn't like to brush his teeth? Do you know for absolutely sure that it's not hurting or he doesn't have a tooth ache? I would find that out first.
Could you enforce a sticker system? Every time he brushes his teeth he gets a sticker and once he gets 3 stickers in a row he gets to [fill in blank=some kind of reward]. Then you can work your way up to 4, 5, 6 stickers in a row, then 7, then kind of fade it out until he doesn't need the system anymore. Sometimes motivation is what they need. They need to know they're getting something out of an unpreferred task and at their age having good teeth and no cavitites just doesn't suffice because that's no fun!