Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Intro: Recent C-Section Mom
Welcome!
I'm sorry that your birth was traumatic. A lot of us here have been through similar feelings and you definitely are not alone. Give yourself some time to heal and make peace with what happened.
And congrats on your new baby!
I'm so sorry you had to have a csection! I know some moms are happy with theirs, but I also know there are a LOT that have both emotional and physical damage from them. For me, this board is one of the best places to connect with other women with similar experiences and feelings. Most of the other csection moms I'm friends with now don't feel disappointment or sadness about their experience, so it's hard to talk to them.
I cried a lot after DS was born. It took months to be able to think about it without crying. That is normal. A year after his birth I started getting books from the library and researching midwives and birth centers. I like to be prepared! I found a wonderful, amazing midwife who encouraged me and DH to do something to express our emotions about my csection (it was hard on both of us). I ended up making a quilt, and love how it turned out (you can see it here: https://sparrowlanequilts.blogspot.com/2011/06/cesarean-quilt-complete.html).
I think the best thing I did was talk to people about my feeling and thoughts--people that could at least validate my feelings and thoughts because sooo many people just brush your emotions under the-"at least you and your baby are healthy"-rug! I am so grateful that we are both healthy, however! That does not in any way fix my emotional damage!
Anyway, I hope the best to you and your little boy! Newborns are amazing and hard work, but worth it :-) If you would like a website and book list on vbacs, please email me: my SN@gmail
Welcome. There are lots of us here who are feeling/have felt the same emotions you are going through right now. You're definitely not alone. There are lots of great resources and support here about VBACs and c-sections.
For now, I would focus on healing and getting to know your little guy. These first few weeks can be exhausting and emotional. Try not to add to it. You'll have plenty of time for what-ifs later.
You're not alone. Even if you just lurk, the way I have for so long, you'll find on wealth of support from this board. It's somehow healing to know that there are others who've experienced the same emotions you're feeling. By the way, that quilt is AMAZING. Just looking at it brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for the link. It's truly beautiful.
I know exactly what you're going through! I as well had an emergency c-section with my DD and actually needed general anesthesia so my dh was left waiting in the hallway. I didn't meet my daughter or see her until hours after her birth. We were team green so I get bummed thinking about how my extended family all knew we'd had a little girl (an a good handful of them came to hospital shortly after the birth) and saw her in the nursery before I even woke up from surgery. Time does help you to accept the birth you had and while you may never be happy with the experience, it is comforting to know your baby got here safely and a VBAC is possible for the future.
I had hoped to have a VBAC with my son and everything as far as my labored went quickly as it did with my DD but i hit 8cm and right after my epi my blood pressure plummeted and they needed to give me meds which in turn made DS's heart rate drop. they tried to stabilize us and broke my water after they checked and I was at 9cm but there was so much meconium in the fluid, the baby was still high and hadn't dropped at all and the vitals for both of us were not improving. The on call OB suggested I consider a c-section and at that point I said absolutely, there was nothing more terrifying for me at the time than the thought of having another emergency c-section that did not have the same happy/healthy result as my first one did. I did not care at that point about the VBAC I was scared I wasn't going to be as lucky as I was the first time around. My hospitals policy does not permit that partners be in the OR for emergency c-sections but the OB knew of our experience the first time around and made sure my dh was by my side in the OR. Once I saw him come into the room (after I was all prepped and on the table) I relaxed and was thrilled that he was there this time to witness our child's birth.
Ultimately, I can't say I had the birth experience that I wanted with either of my children, but I am so happy to have had them arrive safely that I've been able to accept it. I do get sad from time to time knowing I'll never have the vaginal delivery I wanted to experience (since my OB has said that if we were to have a third child they would not allow me to attempt a VBAC since with my DS I had experienced a small uterine tear/rupture ) but I know deep down is was not for lack of effort!
I hope you can find peace and acceptance with your delivery experience, sooner rather than later for your own sake......this board is very helpful and full of women who can sympathize with you! Best of luck.
This is seriously beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I'll be sending you an email shortly.