May 2011 Moms

wills, godparents, legal stuff...

dh and i have been talking about this forever and still haven't made time to sit down and talk about it. we informally talked about who we would want to take dd if something happened to both of us, but now i have other ideas. i changed the life insurance policy for her to be our second benificiary, but that is as far as we've gotten. where is everyone else at on this? have you already made or changed your will, decided who would take lo, etc.?
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Re: wills, godparents, legal stuff...

  • No, we haven't, but we really should.  We don't have wills and really should, since we're not legally married (loooong story).  I suppose if we do nothing, one of our parents would get custody and my MIL would never assume she would be the one.  The one thing we have done is increase our life insurance policies and get some for DD, but we didn't change the beneficiaries yet.  Maybe this will give us something to talk about during our long road trip on Wednesday!
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  • We haven't done any of this, but we really should.  My mom would seek custody of Violet if something happened to me and DH, and we wouldn't want that at all.
    Married to my best friend 6/5/10
    BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
    BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
    BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
  • We've decided what we want to do, but we haven't put pen to paper on any of it. We're about to set up life insurance for DH and I and DD would be the beneficary(spelling?) for that. We've decided that my brother and SIL would take DD if we were both to pass, but we haven't legally set that up yet. I'm about to start my first teaching job, so we're going to get DD covered with medical insurance through that.
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    BFP #1: 9-20-2010 EDD: 5-25-2011 DD #1 born: 5-23-2011
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    BFP #3: 7-18-2012 EDD: 3-26-2012

  • Oh the things you think about at the buttcrack of dawn when you are feeding your child. I was worrying about this exact same thing last night.

    What happens if I die, I have life insurance with my son as the benificiary but I am upside-down on my house? Does the bank try to get the life insurance? Its not much,$50,000 and we owe $200,000 on the house.. but what happens?

    LO would go to my sister who can't have children of her own and is MUCH better off than DH and I. But I would hate for it not to be on paper and for one of my SIL's or MIL to try to pull *** because they want the $$$ LO would get because of Life Insurance.

    STRESSES ME OUT!!

    ...
  • We haven't gotten anything in writing yet, but we have talked to my parents and they know that if something happens to us they are to raise Will.  We don't want DH's parents to get him or even have visitation rights or anything.  But I'm pretty sure if they tried and the court found out that we had sent them a cease and desist order shortly after Will was born they wouldn't stand a chance. We have major issues with DH's parents and he has cut off all contact with them.  MIL and FIL haven't even met Will and we all live in the same small town.  
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  • We've talked about who we would like to raise DD if we both passed and it would be our good friends, who have one child a couple years older than DD and parent how we would like her to be raised but we haven't talked to them about it.  I could see that decision causing some problems with my family but my sister already has 3 kids, is on WIC and is way too religious and lenient.  My parents adore her, but they are older and ill equipped to raise a young child.
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  • We haven't done our will yet mainly because I dont want to bring up the conversation about who gets her if we die.  My brother? Loser. His older sister and hubby? Poor, barely making by and would not raise her with beliefs I agree with. His younger sis and her hubby? Would probably cause my child to have anxiety issues and would raise her with beliefs I don't agree with.  So umm yeah.  Tough conversation to have.  I guess by default I would say my parents but that isn't fair to them the older they get.  But maybe I can learn to trust someone with her by then.
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  • We have spoken about it and have asked my sister and her husband if they would be willing to take LO in the event.  We really need to get a will written up.  And I really need to get a life insurance policy, I have been procrastinating, not sure why. 
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  • We've taken care of the life insurance because that is through my office and there's only a 30 day window to set it up post-birth, so they mailed me all the paperwork as soon as DS arrived.

    But there is no will and no formal custody arrangement, not least because DH and I haven't agreed on it yet. We discussed it before the birth but we wanted to wait until everyone was a little less sleep-deprived before trying to resolve it. We don't have a lot of options -- the downside to contemporary small families.

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  • We have our wills prepared, we just need to get them witnessed/notarized.  We didn't have wills before, but now that LO is here we wanted to make sure that we had a guardian set-up for her in case (God forbid) something happened to both me and DH.  I didn't even think about changing the life insurance beneficiary though.. I'll get on that today :)
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