We weren't even trying

pink100 · July 2011

Does this phrase get to you?

I'm over the moon whenever I hear of anyone getting pregnant (minus medication) IRL or bump buddies. I'm over the moon x10 when its an IF buddy. Its an amazing thing this getting knocked up with medicine or not. But I cant help but burn under the skin a little when someone comes around and says "hi, we're pregnant and we weren't even trying!". My response to that is, if your having unprotected sex, your trying to have a baby. Again, I truly am happy for those that are pregnant...I would never wish IF on anyone!

Just wondering how you feel when you hear this phrase.

Temp616379875002458 · July 2011

I almost just throat-punched you through the computer. Smile

Yeah, it gets to me and I think it is a pretty insensitive thing for a fertile to say to someone she knows has struggled with IF, even if that second party has overcome IF to start a family.

And, I totally agree, it is a total miracle to get pregnant in general!!!

Temp616379875002458 · July 2011

PappsMcgee:
NewMrsW:

I almost just throat-punched you through the computer.

Totally me too!! hahaha

I was about to write wrong board a-hole I guess that sums up how I feel about it I just don't get the whole concept. Either you're preventing, or you're not!

hahahahahahahahaha

KaliChick · July 2011

If you aren't preventing (i.e. no birth control, condoms, etc) then you are trying! I hate the "we weren't even trying" comment ... that or the "we just were having fun" ... ummm yeah, great, good for you! Not only we were trying, there wasn't much fun in it, in fact there was a lot of heartache and pain.

I'm happy for pregnant people in general but I hate the cavalier attitude some people have.

pink100 · July 2011

I figured that subject would get a reaction

I didnt put !!!!!!!!! at the end b/c I didn't want to be obnoxious

jjabs18 · July 2011

I always interject with "if you aren't using any kind of protection you're trying." It just bothers me. I also get annoyed when people tell me they only tried for a month and BOOM look what happened. I usually reply with something about that being great and very lucky for them, but it doesn't work like that for everyone and to please be careful who you say that in front of because you never know what someone else is going through.

pink100 · July 2011

KaliChick:
Not only we were trying, there wasn't much fun in it, in fact there was a lot of heartache and pain.

Sums it up perfectly Kali!

AmyD583 · July 2011

Yes, this is annoying when people say it. What is more annoying to me is the question "So, were you trying?" and "Do you really want this baby?" And the fact this has been asked of me multiple times is unfathomable. I've been married 2 1/2 yrs, why would this even cross your mind, muchless why would you ever think this is your business?

My point: People are STUPID!

hall_ky · July 2011

Yes this still bothers me. It also bothers me when 18 yr old girls get knocked up. My friends 18 yr old sister is KU and she is so excited. I know I'll have to go to thr baby shower but by then I'll be able to hold my lil guy so maybe they will make it easier. But I don't know if these feelings will ever go away.

MrsRumpf · July 2011

It's funny that it bothers us all enough that we each came into this chat topic looking for a FIGHT!!!

Too funny!

zdinakwardwedding · July 2011

Just heard this over the weekend from a friend who stuggled from IF. She has been on met for a year and was still on it. Duh you are trying unless you have diabetes (which she doesn't) and you weren't using protection. Hence you are trying.

mrsarjiltobe · July 2011

Yeah, I can relate. I also have a coworker whose wife "accidentally" got pregnant just before I did. They didn't want another baby, and still don't. It makes me sad when I think about that poor child being unwanted. And then I think about how many IFers are out there who want one so badly, and can't. Some things in life just aren't fair!

On the other hand, I am so thankful for each day I am pregnant, and for the little girl inside me!

etoyama · July 2011

NewMrsW:
I almost just throat-punched you through the computer.

Yeah, it gets to me and I think it is a pretty insensitive thing for a fertile to say to someone she knows has struggled with IF, even if that second party has overcome IF to start a family.

And, I totally agree, it is a total miracle to get pregnant in general!!!

Well said!

MBfromBMC · July 2011

I just had to butt in to say how much I agree!! I hate when people say that!

One of my closest friends in the world has two very young children and she always says that they were both accidents! She got PG with the first one on her honeymoon, and the second only nine months after the first. I always want to say "Did you figure it out yet?? What causes you to have babies?"

:::headdesk:::

MyHusbandMyHero · July 2011

UGH! YES! Uprotected sex IS trying!!! My irresponsible fertile SIL "accidently" got KTFU.. Im like.. if you dont use bc, then you are TRYING (insert vulgar name here!)!!! GRAAAHHHH!!!!

jb2rn · July 2011

Yes. Oh and a friend of mine had unprotected sex once with her husband and got (happily) pregnant, but made a point to say "I am so glad because we are just not the type of people that could temp and all that charting stuff". Oh really? Well, you were not told you had an IF dx and I think if you did you would do anything to achieve pregnancy.

kthappy76 · July 2011

I have never really understood this, even before IF. I prevented and then I TTC. There is a sIight chance that these people are taking PNV or taking care of themselves. I realize that half of pregnancies are unplanned (though not all unwanted) and BC failures happen, but why does it seem like this obviously private tidbit always needs to be shared? It must be God telling you it's time to be a parent (insert sarcasm).

I think it just makes you look stupid and irresponsible (these are the people that get to be easy parents), but in many cases it's the baby that gets labelled "an oops" and it sticks. I would never in a million years want it to come back to my child and have them think that I didn't plan and want them 100%.

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