Need BFing advice and encouragment

ladipale · July 2011

Ugh. Remember my BFing drama from a few weeks ago that involved meds and not being sure if I could continue BFing? Well, I stuck with it. Supplemented a bit, but by last Thursday, my pumping supply was back! I made enough bottles for Friday...

until, at 5:00 pm, on my drive home on Thursday, I had to pull off the freeway and puke my guts out. John and were both sick with some stomach bug all Thursday night. And we just cannot recover. I mean, we aren't throwing up anymore, but we are exhausted, worn out, and existing on gatorade, soup and crackers. I've also been running a fever the last 24 hours. To say I am exhausted and worn out is an understatement.

I'm feeling so discouraged with BFing. Part of me wants to give up. Its so hard to rest and try to feel better AND try to keep up with Ellie and pumping. I've been sick for the last 2 weeks. But I don't know if stopping will help me recover or not. I've made it past 6 months which was one of my goals after E was born. But she loves nursing.

Seriously, WWYD? If you'd rather email me, please do: laura.doyle@mac.com

m&m818 · July 2011

Oh man, L. That sucks. I'm so sorry life continues to be putting up barriers for you guys. I quit way earlier than that, so kudos to you. Good luck making this decision, I'm sure you'll make the right one for your family.

Mrs.BoomBoom · July 2011

Oh, big hugs! Knowing that I was giving Q the antibodies to not get what I got (or not get it as bad) is what got me through. Can you get some help so you just need to BF, eat and sleep? You've got quite the body to keep up with this series of illnesses!

futrkingsley · July 2011

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. It sounds like you are running on empty and need a full day of rest to recover. Are you nursing directly or are you mainly pumping? Did John get a fever too?

Even when it was tough and we all got sick (which happened often it seemed), I kept nursing. Not to be a hero, but because it was easier to do than it was to quit and do formula. I refused to do the work necessary to primarily bottle feed -- mixing, making bottles, washing bottles, etc. Nursing was easier.

Try to get some rest and see this as the temporary blip it likely is. Once you feel better, which will you want to continue doing, nursing or formula feeding?

ladipale · July 2011

futrkingsley:
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. It sounds like you are running on empty and need a full day of rest to recover. Are you nursing directly or are you mainly pumping? Did John get a fever too?

Even when it was tough and we all got sick (which happened often it seemed), I kept nursing. Not to be a hero, but because it was easier to do than it was to quit and do formula. I refused to do the work necessary to primarily bottle feed -- mixing, making bottles, washing bottles, etc. Nursing was easier.

Try to get some rest and see this as the temporary blip it likely is. Once you feel better, which will you want to continue doing, nursing or formula feeding?

I nursed all weekend, but E is at daycare (and I'm at work... but should so not be here) John is doing much better than I am, he has actually slept the last few nights. My problem is, when I'm laying awake at night and hear E cry, I just go to her and let John sleep bc it seems easier. I'm almost tempted to drive her down to my parents for the week, maybe her and I can both go.

Shes been waking much more often, not sure if she is extra hungry bc my supply is way down or she's teething or what! And, all weekend she was clingy to me, I couldn't leave her sight.

SJBride05 · July 2011

Oh, man - I can't even imagine!

How is your supply now? I agree with the PP that BFing seems like it would be "easier" in this situation. And I'd definitely want her to have the anitbodies - this one sounds like a doozy!

Is there anyone that can help out with Ellie while you guys recover, and just bring her to you when she needs to nurse?

I hope you both feel better soon!

Mrs.BoomBoom · July 2011

I think a trip to mom so you can both be babied sounds great! (Even better if she could come here)

pkw · July 2011

I am in no say saying stop. What I am saying...you need to do what it right for you because mama needs to feel better so she can give her best to E!

While I had absolutely no choice in the BF saga (no amount of restarting etc was bringing my dried up supply back) I would urge you to consider all the factors in what you want and what will make your feel like a refreshed mama.

1) formula is extremely expensive, especially if you have a baby with a sensitive tummy

2) what were your real goals for BF'ing? I said I wanted to do 6 months but really I wanted to do a year and so it was hard for me to not feel guilt and let go over the feelings of failure when my supply was gone after 8 weeks

3) if you were to stop, how do you think you would feel? would YOU miss it? Would you feel guilt or failure? (which you should not in any way, just like I shouldn't have but it is hard not to emotionally feel one way when you know rationally you should feel another)

Ultimately only you can decide, but what I do have to say is...if you two need to drive to your parents for a week to try and recover DO IT. If you feel overwhelmed and like this isn't working for you, do what you need to stop those feelings. If you want the added drive to continue on then focus on that and push forward.

You are such a strong mama and I know you will make the right choice. You have done amazing things already and overcome things I could never imagine (c-section, ongoing illness, full-time working) so my hat is off to you.

SJBride05 · July 2011

FWIW - If given the opportunity, I would go to my mom's in a heartbeat.

futrkingsley · July 2011

Can you take one day off to stay home and send E to daycare? Then you could sleep and pump without interruption which might give you the recharge you need to face the rest of the week. I couldn't ever do it because DS was cared for at our house so there was no escape. But once or twice I did lock myself in my room to rest while Gramma entertained him and he came to me when he needed to nurse.

As for frequent wake ups and crying, does she have red swollen gums at all? DS got his first two teeth just before 7 months and it was a rough couple of days. Maybe try a dose of tylenol to see if it helps? If it doesn't, maybe it's something else..

I hope you feel better soon!

StefandTodd · July 2011

No advice here, just really hope you feel better soon.

ladipale · July 2011

Thanks everyone. Right now I'm home with a fever that keeps increasing even though I took Tylenol and have a call into my PCP. The thought of pumping right now is so overwhelming... ugh! I did call my mom, though, so I may head down there tonight (John will drive me) if I start to improve and not continue to decline.

MsPurple24 · July 2011

Lots and lots of encouragement here, although I don't feel like I have any fantastic advice to offer. I do think that having your mom help you out sounds ideal, although I don't know if you can take the time off of work to do that (in my case, taking off from work for a week would add to my stress, so I want to be sensitive to your work situation, just in case).

FWIW, I know that my determination and drive can definitely wane when I'm tired or under the weather, so I'm sure that's a big part of your temptation to give up BF. I want to encourage you to push through it because I think you'll end up on the other side much happier if you can keep your supply going. But it's a lot of work, especially under these very unfair circumstances!

abvernon · July 2011

No advice, but I am sorry to hear you are sick again. Hugs to you. I hope you feel better very soon, L.

NorcalLinds · July 2011

I'm sorry L. I got the stomach flu when Dylan was about 4months old. It was awful. I was exclusively pumping at that time. And the thought of pumping while I was sick made me more sick. I pumped, about 4x a day all I could handle.

Its such a personal choice to quit. And right now you have had such a rough time. If I were you I would nurse if I could, or pump. Supplement when you need to. Try and get better, have family come help whatever it takes. Once you are better, you can make the decision to continue or wean. Even if your supply does take a dip, you could try and nurse part time. Offering certain feedings with formula. She would still get the awesome benefits from breast milk.

Good luck and I really hope you catch a break and get better soon!!

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