I think I'm near the end of nursing and I'm devastated! I've been back at work for awhile now and after a week or 2 I could pump enough to cover what DD was eating. So I had to go through my whole freezer stash (which went depressingly quick) and she started getting formula. I was determined to keep pumping at work so I could at least nurse at night and weekends. DD usually cluster feeds which I encourage to help my supply. I've even taken fenugreek. The past few nights when I'm nursing before bed she sucking a lit then fussing because I think there's nothing left. I gave her a 2 oz bottle of what little bm I have left and she sucked it down.
I'm so depressed! I worked so hard to get to nurse and I'm losing it all! It's somewhat the feeding my DD that I'll miss but it's the comfort I know she gets and that it's her safe place when she's tired sad or overwhelmed. I'm afraid I won't be able to comfort her and she'll be upset she can't nurse especially because that's how she goes to sleep at night and when I'm home.
I'm trying to just make it til Monday for her 4 month appointment so I can talk to her pedi about it but afraid I'm just going to cry and cry. I know formula is fine but it's not what I wanted. I dont want her to smell like formula or have the poop (which she does from supplementing but I don't want a huge baby from formula which I'm sure sounds awful. Anyways sorry this got long but I'm just sad. Also DH doesn't get why I'm so sad.
I think I'm near the end of nursing and I'm devastated! I'm so depressed! It's somewhat the feeding my DD that I'll miss but it's the comfort I know she gets and that it's her safe place when she's tired sad or overwhelmed. I'm afraid I won't be able to comfort her and she'll be upset she can't nurse especially because that's how she goes to sleep at night and when I'm home. I'm trying to just make it til Monday for her 4 month appointment so I can talk to her pedi about it but afraid I'm just going to cry and cry.
I know how you are feeling. I was there a few weeks ago. I cried for 2 days, but you know what? I survived and Nora is thriving.
You WILL be able to comfort your baby. You will find new ways to bond with her. And after a few days, it will stop hurting your feelings so much. It is difficult, but I promise, it will be ok.
I know formula is fine but it's not what I wanted. I dont want her to smell like formula or have the poop (which she does from supplementing but I don't want a huge baby from formula which I'm sure sounds awful.
It's hard to set aside what you wanted, but you do what you have to do to provide nourishment for your child. Formula IS fine. It's more than fine. Your baby will continue to not only grow, but she will also thrive because you are both feeding and loving her.
I'm not sure what you mean about smelling like formula. My baby doesn't smell any different than she did 3 weeks ago. I will admit the poop smells stronger, but that happens once they start solids anyway.
I'm also not sure what you mean about having a "huge baby from formula". Feed your baby appropriately and she will grow appropriately.
Anyways sorry this got long but I'm just sad. Also DH doesn't get why I'm so sad.
Don't apologize. You are entitled to your feelings. I was sad too, and my husband didn't quite "get it" either. You're a good Momma. ((Hug))
Have you contacted a lactation consultant? They might be able to help kore than a pedi. No matter what happens your daughter will be healthy, but I can imagine your disappointment.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling sad. I know it's hard anytime something doesn't go as planned - especially when it comes to the plans you have for your LO.
If I can provide a little long term perspective: my good friend's daughter is three days older than Drew (my DS). We both started breastfeeding when they born. She stopped after about three weeks for various reasons and I was able to continue for many months. I know she was very upset to not BF and it was hard for her to see me nursing Drew. But then they turned a year old, they both started drinking milk, eating meals just like us, and running around and playing like toddlers do. They are almost two now and they are so much alike. You could never tell who was FF and who was BF.
We all wean eventually.
You are totally entitled to your feelings. However when you're ready to start feeling better, maybe my story will help!
I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling sad. I know it's hard anytime something doesn't go as planned - especially when it comes to the plans you have for your LO.
If I can provide a little long term perspective: my good friend's daughter is three days older than Drew (my DS). We both started breastfeeding when they born. She stopped after about three weeks for various reasons and I was able to continue for many months. I know she was very upset to not BF and it was hard for her to see me nursing Drew. But then they turned a year old, they both started drinking milk, eating meals just like us, and running around and playing like toddlers do. They are almost two now and they are so much alike. You could never tell who was FF and who was BF.
We all wean eventually.
You are totally entitled to your feelings. However when you're ready to start feeling better, maybe my story will help!
I think I'm near the end of nursing and I'm devastated! I'm so depressed! It's somewhat the feeding my DD that I'll miss but it's the comfort I know she gets and that it's her safe place when she's tired sad or overwhelmed. I'm afraid I won't be able to comfort her and she'll be upset she can't nurse especially because that's how she goes to sleep at night and when I'm home. I'm trying to just make it til Monday for her 4 month appointment so I can talk to her pedi about it but afraid I'm just going to cry and cry.
I know how you are feeling. I was there a few weeks ago. I cried for 2 days, but you know what? I survived and Nora is thriving.
You WILL be able to comfort your baby. You will find new ways to bond with her. And after a few days, it will stop hurting your feelings so much. It is difficult, but I promise, it will be ok.
I know formula is fine but it's not what I wanted. I dont want her to smell like formula or have the poop (which she does from supplementing but I don't want a huge baby from formula which I'm sure sounds awful.
It's hard to set aside what you wanted, but you do what you have to do to provide nourishment for your child. Formula IS fine. It's more than fine. Your baby will continue to not only grow, but she will also thrive because you are both feeding and loving her.
I'm not sure what you mean about smelling like formula. My baby doesn't smell any different than she did 3 weeks ago. I will admit the poop smells stronger, but that happens once they start solids anyway.
I'm also not sure what you mean about having a "huge baby from formula". Feed your baby appropriately and she will grow appropriately.
Anyways sorry this got long but I'm just sad. Also DH doesn't get why I'm so sad.
Don't apologize. You are entitled to your feelings. I was sad too, and my husband didn't quite "get it" either. You're a good Momma. ((Hug))
i agree with all of this. I was beyond devastated to start supplementing, but I COULD NOT get my supply up and P wasn't gaining well and was getting fussy at every attempt to nurse. I didn't want to let me ego get in the way of my baby's health, so out came the formula. i cried through the first bottle while he sucked it down happily. He turned into a whole different baby- happier, sleeps better, etc. It's been almost 2 months and we're still doing BM and formula. He seems to like both equally.
He doesn't smell and is considered "long and lean" in size, so don't worry about that. Just do what you think is right for your baby.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Thanks ladies for the support! I think it'll be a grieving period for me but I know it will be ok. After all, I was formula fed. It's good to know that I did what I could too. I think I'll keep pumping so I can give her some breast milk. I just got DD to take a nap without nursing so it's possible! I'll just have to find special moments just for us. Thanks for the success ff stories too. I do feel clueless now. I'll have to learn the other side of things.
I'm sorry, I was with you until you started talking about smelly fat babies from formula. Really? Your concern is your child smelling like formula and getting huge and not getting the appropriate nutrition? Don't get me wrong... I sobbed like a total baby when I stopped BF'ing and tried Domperidone, oatmeal, gallons of water, pumping like a lunatic, vegan to accommodate his milk allergy, etc. So I really get how sad it can be. But I assure you that Linus gets plenty of comfort just from being held, cuddled, drinking his bottle while he stares up and me and touches my face. Take it easy on yourself and just do what's best for you and your child's health and sanity.
I know it sounded awful but it's all part of it. It's so hard because I know that my bm is exactly what she needs and formula isn't precise so babies aren't their perfect weight. I'm just upset about it all. Mostly the comfort. She wouldn't fall asleep today until I nursed.
I understand what you're feeling. I did feel like I was grieving when we began supplementing formula for DS. We had so many issues with BFing that it began to seem impossible. My supply began to dwindle and I did what was necessary for his health. I can assure you though that my DS doesn't "smell like formula" and he has no weight issues. He is a very tiny, slender baby. The only thing that changed was the smell of his diapers, but that was to be expected.
I feel better knowing that I gave DS a great start to life by BFing and he is as healthy and happy as ever now. DS and I still have a very special bond, even though he is formula fed. He only lets me cuddle him this certain way to feed him and he still prefers to be cuddled up to my chest at night to fall asleep. Of course it isn't the same as BFing, but he still knows that I'm his mother and is comforted by me more than anyone else. It will be a change for you, but in the end it will still be a good change if you can't increase your supply. Good luck to you!
Have you seen this info? https://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/low-supply.html Perhaps there is still hope to increase your supply. I've heard of people who stay in bed for a couple of days with LO and nurse as frequently as baby will nurse in order to increase their supply. I hate to see you lose the nursing relationship if you want to continue. Best of luck to you.
Not to dismiss your feelings, but honestly...think hard about what you wrote here...
My son has been getting formula since he was 2 months old, and I assure you, he does not "smell", nor is he "fat". Is that seriously what you believe will happen? My DS is about as happy and healthy as they come. And not to brag, but developmentally, he's looking like a 5-6 month old. Darn that formula.
And lastly, my husband and I have endless, sweet ways to comfort and soothe our son, none of which requires my breasts.
Not to dismiss your feelings, but honestly...think hard about what you wrote here...
My son has been getting formula since he was 2 months old, and I assure you, he does not "smell", nor is he "fat". Is that seriously what you believe will happen? My DS is about as happy and healthy as they come. And not to brag, but developmentally, he's looking like a 5-6 month old. Darn that formula.
And lastly, my husband and I have endless, sweet ways to comfort and soothe our son, none of which requires my breasts.
All of this....
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Re: I think we're near the end and I'm devastated! (longish)
I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling sad. I know it's hard anytime something doesn't go as planned - especially when it comes to the plans you have for your LO.
If I can provide a little long term perspective: my good friend's daughter is three days older than Drew (my DS). We both started breastfeeding when they born. She stopped after about three weeks for various reasons and I was able to continue for many months. I know she was very upset to not BF and it was hard for her to see me nursing Drew. But then they turned a year old, they both started drinking milk, eating meals just like us, and running around and playing like toddlers do. They are almost two now and they are so much alike. You could never tell who was FF and who was BF.
We all wean eventually.
You are totally entitled to your feelings. However when you're ready to start feeling better, maybe my story will help!
such a sweet story!
i agree with all of this. I was beyond devastated to start supplementing, but I COULD NOT get my supply up and P wasn't gaining well and was getting fussy at every attempt to nurse. I didn't want to let me ego get in the way of my baby's health, so out came the formula. i cried through the first bottle while he sucked it down happily. He turned into a whole different baby- happier, sleeps better, etc. It's been almost 2 months and we're still doing BM and formula. He seems to like both equally.
He doesn't smell and is considered "long and lean" in size, so don't worry about that. Just do what you think is right for your baby.
I understand what you're feeling. I did feel like I was grieving when we began supplementing formula for DS. We had so many issues with BFing that it began to seem impossible. My supply began to dwindle and I did what was necessary for his health. I can assure you though that my DS doesn't "smell like formula" and he has no weight issues. He is a very tiny, slender baby. The only thing that changed was the smell of his diapers, but that was to be expected.
I feel better knowing that I gave DS a great start to life by BFing and he is as healthy and happy as ever now. DS and I still have a very special bond, even though he is formula fed. He only lets me cuddle him this certain way to feed him and he still prefers to be cuddled up to my chest at night to fall asleep. Of course it isn't the same as BFing, but he still knows that I'm his mother and is comforted by me more than anyone else. It will be a change for you, but in the end it will still be a good change if you can't increase your supply. Good luck to you!
Not to dismiss your feelings, but honestly...think hard about what you wrote here...
My son has been getting formula since he was 2 months old, and I assure you, he does not "smell", nor is he "fat". Is that seriously what you believe will happen? My DS is about as happy and healthy as they come. And not to brag, but developmentally, he's looking like a 5-6 month old. Darn that formula.
And lastly, my husband and I have endless, sweet ways to comfort and soothe our son, none of which requires my breasts.
All of this....