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Two Under 2
Sept1799
member
Help ? Second Time Around-C-Section DD meeting sibling
Sept1799
member
in Two Under 2
Hey ladies,
I had a c-section with dd. While I was in surgery they took dd to the nursery. My parents were there in the hospital waiting to meet her. They did in the hallway from the OR to the nursery.
My parents are great, I love them so much. I was happy they were there to meet her.
This time around my mom wants the same kind of deal. The only thing is dd will be with them. Therefore, she will be meeting her sis or bro without me there. This makes me sad. I want to be there, I want to be the one to introduce them.
I told my mom about this and she got really upset, what do you mean you don't want me there. I want to be there for this new baby like I was for my gd.
I don't have anyone else to watch dd while I go into the hospital to have the baby so thats not an option.
So am I making to much out of this? What did you ladies do??
Also on other borads
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Re: Help ? Second Time Around-C-Section DD meeting sibling
I had a schedule c-section. My parents stayed at home with #1. They met #2 later in the afternoon while my inlaws watched #1. #1 did not meet #2 until we got home. I didn't want to deal with #1 freaking out that he had to leave the hospital with me still there.
Can your DH go home and relieve your mom so she can come to the hospital later?
We are going to have a similar dilemma, but more from the aspect of the ILs are watching DS while I am at the hospital, and they will be jealous if my mom and dad get to see the baby before they do <insert eye roll here>
We've made the decision to have a couple hours after the c-section of just DH and I. My first section was at 3pm, and everyone wanted to rush in and get a visit in before visit hours were over. We felt bombarded and crowded. This time, I will have an earlier surgery time.
After we've had a chance to bond with the new baby, DH will go pick up DS (or his parents can bring him to the hospital and wait in the waiting room) and it'll be just DH, I and the 2 kids for a little while, again, to bond as a new family.
Only at that point will we invite in both sets of grandparents to visit.. which we assume won't be until dinner time or later.
My parents are completely supportive of this plan. The IL's.. not so much but oh well. I think its fair to the most important people involved.. Dh, I and our children.
My oldest was also at home with my mom during my surgery.
Frankly? There's no way I'd want my toddler hanging out around the hospital all day.
Scheduled sections are lowest in priority. My section scheduled for 10 am ended up happening at 4 pm due to bumps for emergencies and multiples (all delivered in the OR even if vaginal). My toddler would have been a WRECK if we'd put him thru the ringer like that. He (and my Mom) didn't even come up until the next day after I had IV's out, had a shower and didn't look so tired and worn out.
I'd tell your Mom that you want to be there. Period. She can be pissed all she wants - this isn't her family. She'll get over it.
I'd have her wait in the waiting room and tell the staff you want the baby brought to you before any other family meets him/her.
Chances are that all will go fine but if your toddler has questions, doesn't understand, etc those are the kinds of things her Mamma needs to be there to handle. And we took TONZ of photos (even though the toddler could have cared less). Those are special moments and there's no way I'd want to miss them if I could avoid it.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
I don't think you're being unreasonable and I would be upset as well. My DD will only be 13-14 months old when DS is born so we have decided not to bring her to the hospital at all so she doesn't see me. I'm afraid she will want to stay with me and freak out when she can't. My DH will relieve my mom and she will come visit DS and me soon after his birth without DD. When we get home, she will meet him and I will get to take all the pictures I want.
Personally, I wouldn't worry about your mom being upset. She's going to have to deal with it... it's your family and that should be something you should witness 1st hand. Good luck!
Praying for Baby Camryn
Praying for Baby Scarlett
Remembering Baby Adam
Both DS and DD stayed with me from the OR to the recovery room. With DS my parents (dad and stepmom) were told they wouldn't be able to see me or the baby until I was moved from recovery to my room. I happened to be the last surgery of the night, so they let me parents into the recovery room (at my request) because I was the only one there.
This time around it was extremely important to me for DS to meet DD before anyone else. I went to the hospital at 5:00am. My parents brought DS up to see me around 7:30am and waited there with him until DD was born at 8:49am and they were told we were both healthy and safe. Then they took DS home for a quick nap. They returned as soon as I was ready to go to my room and we all met there. We introduced DD to DS and visited for a while. When it was time for DS to leave for another nap THEN they took DD to the nursery to clean her up. I rested a bit and then other people visited.
To make everything work I held off all other visitors including my mom, sister, MIL, FIL, and SMIL until after DS and my parents were able to visit for a while.
i agree with this...this is pretty much what i will be doing as well. my MIL seems annoyed that i dont want her waiting at the hospital during my surgery, but thats too bad. its your family and your decision, dont feel bad!