what scares you the most after baby is born?

rkto · July 2011

we are all probably scared of almost everything as new Moms, but there are probably a few specific things that make us the most frightened.

I am scared of the umbilical cord falling off - very odd for me to imagine.

I am scared of bleeding for 3-4 weeks, but the post yesterday reassured me about that one.

BettyBookworm · July 2011

I am not looking forward to foggy, sleep-deprived nights. I'm scared I won't get enough sleep to function & I'll do something stupid to endanger the kid. I'm sure I'm just being irrational, but I'm afraid I'll be short of patience during that time too. I won't want to be momzilla...

Also, for some odd reason I am really scared of bathing baby. I am getting one of those temperature monitor things because I have this paranoia of scalding her.

Other than that, I can't think of anything else that immediately sounds intimidating. I am sure that there will be more though. Hooray for FTM (first time mom, right?) jitters!

happylady07 · July 2011

I'm a little worried about having to juggle the baby after my DH goes back to work when my dogs ask to go outside to pee... I know that sound kind of weird, but we don't have a fenced yard so I usually take them out one at a time on a leash, and I can't imagine it will always be stellar timing when I hear one of the dogs ring the bell at the back door telling me they have to potty! I'm hoping my son does well in a carrier early on, so that I can have him strapped to me and have my hands free to do those types of things that I take for granted now.

ababymaybe · July 2011

I'm scared of what will happen to my body... pelvic floor issues, trying to have sex again, etc.

I'm also worried about how our 2 cats will react. They're our furbabies and it makes me sad to think they will be upset/stressed out. I hope that we can help make the transition tolerable for them.

Saemilyn · July 2011

I'm scared about it all... but I have faith that my instincts will help me out most of the time. Women have been doing this for thousands of years! No doubt I'll get through it too Smile

welcometowonderland · July 2011

I'm not a first time mom, so I'm pretty much prepared for everything. I am however worried about PPD which I get pretty bad.

jonnygurl76 · July 2011

2nd time mom and there are still fears! i am nervous about how DD will react to her baby brother and if i will get enough sleep to take care of both of them without becoming impatient and cranky. and i have a fear of being house bound until i can figure out how to get out around their nap schedules.

nic326 · July 2011

Sleep deprivation and how DS will adjust to a new baby - but mostly sleep deprivation

Ariana2O11 · July 2011

I'm scared of the newborn phase and exclusively breastfeeding them every 2-3 hours for the first three weeks, which is recommended.

I don't know how I will function with only 2-3 hours of sleep at a time for 3 consecutive weeks. I will be a very grouchy person.

gkmacdon · July 2011

im scared about my ILs holding her when she's little because they are smokers and even though I will ask them to wash their hands I feel like you can still smell/breathe the smoke from their clothes, hair etc. EW

LauraLP · July 2011

I'm afraid I will sleep through my baby crying at night. I'm scared he'll sleep through the night. Why? Because I don't want him to lose weight and suck at helping him thrive.

Ariana2O11 · July 2011

also, another thing I'm terrified about and it's always in the back of my mind is that I celebrated my birthday and had quite a few drinks (hard liquor) in my first trimester.

I had no idea I was pregnant at the time.

I've told my doctor, but there's no way to test for fetal alcohol syndrome during pregnancy and she said that if that was my only experience with alcohol throughout the pregnancy, then i should be okay.

Still, I'm very anxious about it and will not know for sure until after the baby is born.

PearlPink · July 2011

our LO will have a cleft lip, I'm really scared for that, and any complications that come from it, including breastfeeding, or feeding in general, her pallet looks to be intact but really there is no way to know until she is here for certain. I'm scared of having a small baby that requires surgery.

I'm scared for breastfeeding period.

I"m scared of sleeping issues. I'm HORRIBLE at taking naps, I always feel sick when I wake up from a nap, and usually if I get more than a couple hours sleep and wake up, I can't go back to bed...

I'm terrified LO will be allergic to the dogs, or they won't do well with her and we would have to find them a new home. They are our first babies really and I love them so much, I would be devistated to find them new homes, though I know my mom would take them both, it would kill me to part with them.

I'm scared to see my body post baby too. I found stretch marks last week and cried... I imagine its only the start of more stretch marks.

Marcilyn0812 · July 2011

gkmacdon:
im scared about my ILs holding her when she's little because they are smokers and even though I will ask them to wash their hands I feel like you can still smell/breathe the smoke from their clothes, hair etc. EW

Have them hold baby on a receiving blanket... lay it under the baby like a big nurp cloth so LO doesn't touch their clothes. Its the best compromise I could come up with for DD and family members who smoke.

saffie2011 · July 2011

Marcilyn0812:

gkmacdon:
im scared about my ILs holding her when she's little because they are smokers and even though I will ask them to wash their hands I feel like you can still smell/breathe the smoke from their clothes, hair etc. EW

Have them hold baby on a receiving blanket... lay it under the baby like a big nurp cloth so LO doesn't touch their clothes. Its the best compromise I could come up with for DD and family members who smoke.

I think this is a good idea... I just learned from my friend who is a MW that "third hand smoke" (residual smoke and substances left on a smokers' clothes and body) can be very dangerous to infants. My MIL is a smoker and although she smokes outside, I am worried about her holding LO. I think it would be more of an issue if she was a primary caretaker, but it still worries me...

jeanniez · July 2011

We had to use donor sperm and I'm afraid LO won't look like DH at all (different skin color or eye shape ect) Not a big deal for us, we're going to tell LO but we were hoping to wait until he is older and I'm afraid of what other people would say. (Is that terrible? We live in a very judgemental small town, people can be mean and I doon't want my child to be an outcast). Also afraid of labor. I know it hurts and I'm a big baby. I'm afraid I won't be able to breastfeed and we can't afford formula and don't quite qualify for WIC. I'm afraid we won't have enough money. I'm really paranoid and a FTM. I hadn't even thought of PPD until I read it above. I just re-read this post and started laughing. I sound like a fruitcake!~

soon2bjmn · July 2011

Not knowing how our marriage will change

mrs.lizzieb · July 2011

I'm scared of the pain from breastfeeding and the sleepless nights. The pain breastfeeding DS was so intense and lasted for weeks, so I'm afraid it will be the same way. I'm also afraid of the sleepless nights- during the transition stage for DS, I'm sure he'll be waking up in the middle of the night as well (he's a very light sleeper as it is now), so I just can't imagine juggling a newborn and DS simultaneously at 3am. Ugh.

aandg · July 2011

I'm scared of the sleep deprivation of the newborn phase and how I'm going to handle having two under two. I'm also scared of the recovery if I end up having to have a c section because of previa.

forensicmama · July 2011

I'm nervous about needing another episiotomy and being in that much pain all over again.

newmama0208 · July 2011

I'm most scanted that my twin boys will have to go to the NICU. I just don't want them taken away from me.....it's my biggest worry.

jonnygurl76 · July 2011

canadiansciencegeek:
I'm scared about how our marriage will change. I'm also only just realizing how much time I'm going to be spending breastfeeding. I knew the feedings were every 2-3 hours, but I didn't realize they each took so long. And, as a FTM, i'm terrified that I'll do something remarkably stupid to put my LO in danger or cause her pain.

in the beginning when DD was eating every 2-3 hours i was keeping track of all of her feedings and wet/poopy diapers, etc. and we figured it out that i was BFing a total of 8 HOURS in a 24 hour period. 8 HOURS! i have no idea what i am going to do with DD while i am BFing during the day....

brokensmyl · July 2011

Oh where to begin!

I am worried about our two dogs. Initially it is going to be nerve wracking but I know that once they get used to another person in the house, they will be fine.

I'm worried that I will sleep through baby crying. I'm not really a heavy sleeper, per say, but I don't like my sleep interrupted at all. That, and DH doesn't wake up for nothing. I don't want to have to do it all by myself. Sleep deprivation and I do not mix well.

I am worried about taking care of a newborn while trying to recover. The pain/bleeding/etc that I will have when DH goes back to work.

I am worried about getting back on my feet and back to work. It is going to be so hard.

I'm worried about who will watch baby when I go back to work. We sort of have something worked out, but there are a couple of iffy days.

I'm worried about bouncing back and getting ready for the holidays. A friend of mine had a baby mid-November and didn't do anything at all for her baby's first Christmas (She said she didn't even know Christmas was upon us until a couple of days before). I don't want to do anything elaborate, but setting up a tree and buying gifts would be nice.

I'm worried about people dictating me on how I decide to raise my baby. My baby, so I'm doing it my way. That worked for you? That's nice.

I'm afraid that I won't be able to produce milk.

DH will be so overwhelmed and end up having a breakdown. He does this when he has a lot going on. I won't be able to take care of him and our baby at the same time.

Basically... EVERYTHING scares me to some extent. Some things more then others, but I know that it will all work out and this is just the FTM in me kicking in.

LCass · July 2011

crystalbaby:
gkmacdon:
im scared about my ILs holding her when she's little because they are smokers and even though I will ask them to wash their hands I feel like you can still smell/breathe the smoke from their clothes, hair etc. EW
I am terrified of this b/c my dad is a smoker and it will be so gross even after he washes his hands. But how do you tell a grandpa that he can't hold his first grandchild b/c he smells like smoke?!

What about keeping a fresh, clean shirt or two at your house for family members who are smokers? They wash their hands and change their shirt before they hold the baby. Still not perfect, of course, but it gets rid of some of the third hand smoke and it's pretty simple. BIL lives with us and smokes, and I think we're going to ask him to keep some clothes out of his room and never smoke in them so that he can wear them when he's around the baby.

As for my fears, I think I'm most scared about my recovery and breastfeeding, but as others have said women have been doing this for hundreds of years so I'm sure I'll manage.

KamiSuzanne · July 2011

I'm afraid that we will be so wrapped up in the new baby that we will forget to take time out for DS, and for our marriage.

Ritzy19 · July 2011

I wouldn't say I'm "scared" of anything per se, but there are a few things that have me feeling a bit anxious just to see how they all play out.

I'm nervous that I'll have a difficult time breastfeeding like I did the first time around. I ended up exclusively pumping for an entire year, and I'd really like to make the breastfeeding work this time around.

DH works really early so he'll most likely be sleeping by 8pm most nights so it'll be mostly me during the bedtime routine. I'm nervous about doing bedtime with two kids, seeing as it's always been hard to get DD to sleep without snuggling her or actively putting her to bed. I can only imagine how difficult that will be with a crying newborn that needs my attention as well.

canterbearytails · July 2011

Oddly enough I have no worries about the baby. I've been a day care provider/preschool teacher for the past 10 years so I feel like kids and babies are pretty resilient. My main worry is money. When I finish working next month our monthly income will go down by half. I also worry about how I will manage to keep the house stocked and everyone fed in the first month or two because we don't own a car, but my in-laws live 30 minutes away and I think they'll try to help me out as much as possible. And my final worry is a silly one -- I worry that I'll be more stretched out "down there" and MH won't enjoy sex as much.

StephRuns · July 2011

With me - not getting back into shape.

With the baby - SIDS and doing something wrong. This is all new to me, and I'm terrified that I'm going to mess something up.

spedi · July 2011

This summer was supposed to be ALL about DS. I know time with him will become limited in comparison to what he has always had, so I wanted some QT with him. Since I am dealing with my mom's estate, I have less time to spend with him than I wanted. I fear he will feel left out.

I fear the baby will have to have surgery really soon after birth. I also fear he will be transferred from the hospital I am in to the hospital 6 blocks away without me!

I fear I'll be septic AGAIN after birth and be worthless for a month because I am SO SICK!

I fear my husband and I will disconnect...or I will because I'll be the primary care giver for two kids and he will continue his normal life.

saffie2011 · July 2011

I worry about many different things, but mainly I am worried about not having enough time with LO before I go back to work. I know that I am lucky to have 3 months, but it just seems sooo short especially when I think about how long it may take to recover from labor and then adjust to lack of sleep. I want to go back to work, but I wish I could take 6 months instead of just 3. I feel like 3 months will be the time when we are finally getting into the swing of things and enjoying baby girl and then I will have to adjust again to a new schedule.

sisterrael · July 2011

I'm scared of ppd.

Liz4444 · July 2011

I have zero experience with babies, no nieces or nephews or close friends with babies... nothing. So I'm scared of pretty much everything, I have no idea what I'm doing and I feel like you can read as many books as you want, but it doesn't truely prepare you for reality...

...and PPD and the return of a debilitating eating disorder.