Future MIL issues...

icajesica82 · July 2011

Getting married on Tuesday so my future MIL is in town. She lives in CA and I live in MN. I can handle her in low doses because she always seems to want to have control of everything. She told my fiance and I today that she is planning on moving back to MN (she lived here for 2 years a few years ago). I was happy she was going to be in CA but now I'm going crazy.

I can only imagine how she is going to be with LO. Fiance is in town for 2 weeks and she is here for 1 week. He mentioned that we might not see her on Sunday becuase we are going out on a friends boat. She was like, "why can't I see you on Sunday, what am I not going to see you again until Tuesday at noon?" Drama much..... I can't just picture how she will be if I leave LO in her care, she knows best. This is how you do this, this is how I did that. When i had a kid blah blah blah. I'm sorry BUT THAT WAS 30 YEARS AGO!!!! I think half of this is hormones but seriously. YOu dont have to see your son every day he is in town. He does have other friends that he wants to see before he goes back to KS.

Ok thanks for letting me vent ladies......

CluckyEV · July 2011

Sorry sweetie ((hugs)) Just don't give her a key Wink

Have fun on the boat!

MrsDarga · July 2011

Girl, I hear you Loud and Clear! My MIL is the same way! She likes to control everything!

This is just one example from this past week.... I had my first OB appointment and she wanted my H to call her to let her know how it went. That was no problem. But when he told her that the Dr said that the over the counter prenatal I was taking was fine. She freaked! She insisted that he was suppose to give me a prescription for prenatals and went on a 10 minute rant about it! I just wanted to attack her threw the phone. Its like she thinks shes the Dr that has 38 years experience!!! Its just like REALLY!!! UGH!

Theres so many little things like that it just makes me want to scream.

buckeyebride22 · July 2011

Oh honey....trust me I understand. My DH bought his house a few years before we got together. Its half a mile down the road from his parents. I love her. I really do. But she drives me nuts. She is the stingiest person I've ever met. Planning the wedding was a nightmare. I've found I have to take her with a grain of salt. Sometimes i just nod and smile. And when she's too much I avoid going over there for about a week. I knew how she was when I married him

dancingmatilda · July 2011

My MIL is the same way - control freak! It took a few times of me nicely (but directly) putting my foot down and saying 'no, we're not doing that', 'thank you, but no', or 'we're doing that ourselves'.. but I think she's finally gotten the point that I'm very independent and will be doing things the way I want to. I welcome advice, but will NOT be told that I have to do something. Other ways I avoid it is not asking for her advice or just saying "this is what we're doing" and leaving no room for discussion.. Definately discuss your plans with your significant other before you address an issue with her because he needs to back you up. If there's ever an issue that require a serious talk w/ her, make him handle it. She's got to realize that you and he are your own family now. It's terrible, but the best thing about being an adult is that if someone isn't good for you, you don't have to be around them. Good luck!

momyof22b · July 2011

MrsDarga:

Girl, I hear you Loud and Clear! My MIL is the same way! She likes to control everything!

Theres so many little things like that it just makes me want to scream.

DITTO!! I can't stand my MIL to the point I will not even talk with her anymore, if she calls me I make my DH answer the phone

pennyandandy · July 2011

Oh, honey, I so feel your pain, on multiple levels. My MIL is very much the same way, except she is controlling in a very nervous and neurotic way. For instance, at dinner she will ask DH if he wants salt or butter literally 20 times in a row. And it's more like "Shouldn't you salt that? Don't you want salt for that? You always like salt on that." She's very good at guilting people. And right now she is thinking of moving here by us when she retires and/or DH's grandparents pass away. Luckily, that shouldn't be for about 5+ years. But she is looking at buying a house now and paying on it. Nightmare.

Hang in there. DH and I set boundaries with her, and there will have to be more when LO comes.

busterbeagle · July 2011

Sorry you are having issues with your future MIL. My MIL is also very controlling/needy and the number one source of friction in mine and DH's relationship.

Congrats on the wedding though! I can imagine the stress from that plus being pregnant making MIL seem even less bearable. I hope everything goes wonderfully!

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