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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Anyone else having trouble...
With dealing with in laws???? I am sure they dont mean anything by it, but my SIL and MIL make me feel like I dont know what Im doing. I knew I would have to deal with what everyone else thinks I should do and how to do certain things, but I am a sensitive person sometimes, especially with the hormones right now. I am EBF and my MIL insists that she NEEDS to feed DS a bottle of expressed milk EVERYTIME we see her!! I have told her several times I am not going to use my stash of milk if I dont need to. It is getting old that everytime I see her it is an issue. I just smile and feed my baby as I always would, but deep down it bothers me. And my SIL cuts down several things I do or dont do and I just cant take the smart a@# comments anymore, I have gracefully stated my piece more than once, but they dont get it. I am afraid that one day I am going to get ugly and I dont want to do it.............If anyone else deals with anything like this any advice is appreciated. I am getting super frustrated.
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Re: Anyone else having trouble...
I went through the same things. A LOT of it is hormones right now. Tell you DH how you are feeling and have him step in for you.
Looking back now, I could have relaxed about a LOT of things with DS but at the time I *had* to do it the way I thought was right. I let a lot of little things drive me absolutely crazy, such as MIL calling DS "her baby". I mean really, he is my baby, and her saying that doesn't change anything but it drove me crazy.
Good luck!
I can only speak for myself but dealing with the inlaws gets better in some ways as your LO gets older. Don't get me wrong, I get extremely irritated with them still but... I can just blow it off better now than when lo was 0-6 months.
Yes! LO just doesn't want to burp. It takes forever (though now he 1.5 weeks and it seems to be improving) and my MIL continues to ask if he is burping and also has even shown me how to burp him (I could hardly contain myself). She also asks about if he is gassy and about his diaper rash...whether we use desitin or powder and has told me not to use wipes...to use water, etc. etc.
The final straw was when MIL stated (when DH told her that we bought them) that gas drops are dangerous and shouldn't be used daily. I told him (he was on phone with her) that the container says safe for every use and my trusted girlfreind said her Dr. said it's fine for every bottle or BF'ing.
Once he was off the phone I asked DH if MIL has a particular reason why she feels I am unable to care for our son. He said that she was just trying to help. I told him that she does not need to take a rolling inventory of every burp, piss, sh*t and puke that comes out of our son. DH said he will no longer talk to her about it. That goes a long way I think...if your H can intercept the nonsense.
My ILs don't live in my state, and they haven't seen LO yet (due to financial issues), but my mom was saying things that would drive me nuts too. She would CONSTANTLY (like multiple times a day) ask if I had given DS his reflux medicine. Eventually I just had to confront her about it. "Mom, I remembered to give Will his medicine; he takes it at 6am every morning because that's when he naturally wakes up to eat. When you always ask me if I remembered, it makes me feel bad, so could you please stop?"
She had no idea that her 'helpful reminders' were bothering me. Maybe you could approach you MIL/SIL that way? "Hey SIL, thanks for the advice on XYZ, but this works for us." And then kill her with kindness. "I know you're excited to feed LO MIL, but I don't want to use my expressed milk unless I really have to; it is for emergencies (or whatever) only. But I'll definitely let you feed LO when we introduce solids!" Or something.
It's annoying!
Dealing with inlaws has been soo hard for me.. Yes the hormones are raging but come on let us figure it out on our own. I get the comparison day in and day out about our perfect nephew. My husband has a brother and his son is PERFECT! If we do something they compare it to how BIL and SIL did it. Finally I had it one day and said we are our own people. Its really frustrating they had the first son and now we have the first girl! Our daughter was born with a nevus on her face and one of her ears was a little folded. My MIL almost had a heart attack that our daughter wasnt perfect like her grandson. She even went as far as looking for a plastic surgeon to correct her ear. Thank God my hubby stands his ground and tells her off when need be. So that I dont look like the B**ch! What works for me is to stay quiet and shut down with them. I avoid her calls for a few days and then she realizes it and she chills out. My hubby and I have great communication, so I vent with him alot. I apologize always beforehand to him and use the hormones card but he understands,, which is great! The only time i did snap was when she told me that all i do is carry the baby and Im spoiling her..Mind you she is only 10 weeks. Im a SAHM, its my first and I want to hold her. There is nothing wrong with loving and holding your child. SO i snapped and said if i wanted a thing to keep in a play pen all day , i would of gotten another dog. End not a comment ever again.
By the way thanks for letting me vent. Hope it gets better!!