Did I let him cry it out?

Kristen3009 · July 2011

Hi, I don't post very much but totally lurk when I have a question.. and I have one now. I don't see this topic on the most recent few pages so sorry if it is a repeat. We typically put our son down after he's in a deep sleep- and for bedtime, this always means I'm nursing him to sleep. Which is fine with me. But when we put him down, he very frequently pops awake or cries. Tonight I put him down for bed in a deep sleep but when he woke up as he touched down on the mattress, and out of sheer frustration/exhaustion, I did not pick him up but instead did the loud shush/patting back for like 5 min.. he gradually settled and eventually fell into a deep sleep- I know it's not technically crying it out, but I felt horrible doing it. I know this is how many kids get to sleep- but at 11 weeks old, I hope I'm not springing anything horribly unpleasant on my little baby.

I'll be going back to work 3 days/week once the school year starts and am worried about him ever sleeping during the day when I'm gone, so I do want him to have a bit of an idea of laying down and being able to get to sleep with a little help. Is this an acceptable method or am I damaging his tiny little psyche?? I don't know what else to do and doubt my in-laws are going to be anywhere near as patient as we are about getting him to nap when I'm at work. THanks.

cstyles · July 2011

5 minutes with you still comforting him is very very very far from CIO. I think it sounds like a successful transition. If it would have gone on for 30 minutes and you still didn't pick him up (at 11 weeks), I'd say that was getting a little closer to CIO.

We often have to do the pat the back and shushing noise after C hits the crib. If he doesn't calm down within a few minutes i pick him back up and repeat. 9 out of 10 times though, he will just go back to sleep.

GL!

Kristen3009 · July 2011

Ugh. It felt like 5 hours. I do shush him back to sleep when he wakes up during a nap or during the night, but this felt like I was just being mean... but I guess 5 min is a short time in this context.

kathrnn · July 2011

I don't think that you did at all. It's the same as if you had picked him up and soothed him, except he was laying down on the bed. We do the same thing with out daughter. I sleep with her at night, since it's easier for me to BF that way, and sometimes if she wakes up (especially closer to the morning hours) we'll pat her back and hush her- that usually puts her back to sleep.

If he needed something, other than sleep, he wouldn't have fallen asleep.

LouiseB2001 · July 2011

I remember what it was like at that early age, every 5 minutes of crying feels like hours and it it frustrating not being able to comfort them. It sounds like you are stressed about your situation that you have to leave him soon with others but I think he will be fine. It is probably harder on you :-) Have you tried lying down and nursing him? I did that a lot and DD dozed off that way and I could sneak away without her waking up again. I also developed a trick (that I still use occasionally) that after nursing to sleep, I take her up on my shoulder, let her fall asleep again with her head on my shoulder and then gently put her down in the bed. It is like she got used to this rhythm and she will sometimes open her eyes slightly or turn her head but she falls asleep again. The important part to this trick is that you are firm and support the baby's body all the time.

Kingston54 · July 2011

Definitely not CIO. I know what you mean though. Sometimes I walk out of the room and LO is crying. By the time I get to my room and check the monitor he's laying down sleeping. I feel guilty and then will go back in once he's sound asleep and rub his back.

Kristen3009 · July 2011

Thanks. I have done the nursing in bed and that has sometimes worked... the thing is that I'm hoping he can learn to sleep for naps when I'm at work, as I'm not sure the caregivers (in-laws) will be as persistent as we are about nap time (they'd prefer more play time).
The tip about putting him up on my shoulder to lay down- love it and I do try and do that; also helps determine how deep a sleep he is in as he will stir during the transition up to shoulder if he's not deep enough to put down.

Tonight I nursed him to sleep and put him down and he was out like a light... for about 15 min. I think that since it was still fairly light out (he's been going down earlier the past few nights), he probably just tried to change positions like he does all night but maybe woke up more because of the light in the room? Anyway I tried the shush/pat for 10min and I guess he just was too awake when I began, because I did need to pick him up and walk him to sleep in the end. Oh well!

Thanks for the reassurance everyone

drea_raye · July 2011

Once J outgrew his bassinet we had to put him in the crib. It was really hard for me to get him down without him waking (no matter how asleep he was) so we started soothing him back down rubbing his belly, shh ing, singing, mobile, whatever. Now I can lay him down in the crib when he is ready for a nap, turn on his mobile, rub his tummy and he is out. Sometimes he wants the paci, and I give it to him, but most times he spits it out and falls asleep.

What you are doing sounds a lot like the baby whisperer methods... it is not a "no-cry" method, but it doesn't involve letting your LO cry for anything other than a mantra cry (which is a wind-down fussing) and you pat/ sh them through it if you need to. It might be a good approach for you. The NCSS get a lot more play on this board, and I have them on the way, but the baby whisperer seemed to fit what we were doing naturally better.

Want a personalized experience?

Did I let him cry it out?

Re: Did I let him cry it out?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards