Blended Families
I need...
a nap, a margarita and no less than 5 days on a beach with SO!
Since I'm bored and bumping at work, let's play a game. What do you need?
This discussion has been closed.
a nap, a margarita and no less than 5 days on a beach with SO!
Since I'm bored and bumping at work, let's play a game. What do you need?
Re: I need...
a nap would be lovely!!!
I need a reliable babysitter to watch Cece for an evening so I can have dinner and a night out with my husband!
I need to know what is happening with my job - am I being laid off - or not- when?? I hate not knowing. I am such a planner - that I need to know!!!
I need a day off - from everything!!! From kids, husband, house, work - everything. A day at the beach with a book and a margarita!!!!! (and maybe a girlfriend!)
A massage (getting one at 3!)
Money that can ONLY be spent on me (like a magic credit card that only works if I'm buying stuff for me).
The temperature to drop by about 10-15 degrees.
And I'll take a margarita too.
I need a lot of things
~A DH who appreciates all I do and how hard I work and how utterly exhausted I am.
~A DH/Family/Friends who would sometimes ask me how I"m feeling about the adoption. I put on a brave face, but I am still grieving and feeling like I want to talk about it, but no one else seems to want to.
~A mani and a pedi (DESPERATELY)
~A boss who would change our dress code at work and allow us to wear cute/dressy capris and or long knee length shorts to work (professional, with heals and all)...instead we have to wear slacks, stockings, shirts with sleeves, etc.
~Chocolate. In mass quantities.
~A vacation.
~Money. Also in mass quantities.
Ok, I'm officially adopting all of your ideas. My list of needs now includes:
money to pay off the last of my outstanding debts
A spa day including a mani, pedi, facial and massage
Also, I'm not familiar with the adoption you're going through so if you want to talk to me about it I'll be happy to listen.
a few weeks off with pay
an unlimited supply of money
prego hormones to go away
BM to not be so complicated
and to feel appreciated more at work ( to not feel as though my education has gone to waste)
I am in on this money card - sign me up, baby!
Bullet points:
In August a very dear friend of mine lost a pregnancy at 37 weeks. Devastating
In September I found out I was pregnant... and my DH and I just CAN NOT have another child (financial reasons mostly) and we knew we could not provide for and take care of another child...
We decided to have my friend and her DH adopt our baby.
It is an open adoption and has been a BLESSING and a wonderful, truly beautiful thing! The baby was born on 4/9/2011 and went home with my friends a few days later (when I left the hospital). I have seen her twice since the adoption and she is just a joy to be around.
All that being said, I'm still grieving and having good days and bad days. I am sort of feeling that a lot of people (my family and DH) just sort of said "Oh, she's in a good place now. On with our lives" and that was that. I know that's not how they feel, and everyone is dealing with their feeling seperately, but I just wish they'd talk to me about it more. Or maybe I don't...maybe talking about it will only make it harder? LOL I don't know, I'm just emotional lately, probably from the pregnancy hormones adjusting back down.
Wow! That has got to be hard! Kudos to you and DH for deciding what was right for your family and giving the greatest possible gift you could give to your friends. But I can't imagine what kind of lingering feelings that would give you. Have you thought about meeting with a counselor? I'm sure you do still need to talk about it! A few months is not enough time to completely deal with all the what-if's that I'm sure you have. Especially when you know that she is so close. *Hugs*
That is the kindest most unselfish thing I have ever heard of. You are an amazing and courageous person to bear such a burden. T&P&HUGS!
I agree- you are an awesome woman!!
Thank you ladies. Ironically, I AM a therapist, lol. But yes, I've been speaking to a colleague on a client/therapist level since before the adoption. She's been amazing with helping me process what I'm going through and just generally validating that it is 100% okay to still feel awful (and great) about this decision all at the same time.
I go through phases. Some weeks I"m totally okay, other weeks I'm a complete mess.
Last night things kind of came to a head, DH and i got in a fight over something dumb, and I started trying to express to him that I need to feel like he thinks about me, like he acknowledges (without me having to say it) how I'm feeling. I need him to be a little more "psychic" (LOL now that i"m typing it, I totally sound psycho) and anticipate when I may need a little extra comfort and care. And when I was talking to him about that, all the emotions sort of came rushing back to me and I went into one of my really sad phases.
I don't EVER regret doing it or wish that i hadn't done it. I just sometimes feel sadness and feel like I failed in some way (which I know is totally irrational), and I told DH that i really just need him to see that/understand that/anticipate that, and when he knows I'm feeling that way, give me a little extra. Hopefully he understands now. I know he's dealing with all this in his own way, and must feel some of these things too, but he's not a very "warm and fuzzy" person, he doesn't really share feelings openly.