Washington Babies
Poll! Timing a second
Just curious, as we are trying to figure out where we fall here.
[Poll]J + J = K
Photo by J. Shelton Photography
Photo by J. Shelton Photography
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Re: Poll! Timing a second
We were blessed and able to get pregnant very quickly first time around, of course you never know. The only thing pushing me to try to get pregnant now is just in case the surgery and procedures get pushed out to when she's six; then we'll have waited a long time. DH is in the wait it out camp and stick to original plan of 3 to 4 years apart.
Jill, that is a good point. One is definitely not that much easier than newborn....but at least I get sleep now.
Seeing how you are taking about medical (and possibly over nights in the hospital), I would try for a 2nd now. I would want the 2nd to be old enough for me to feel comfortable being apart from her/him for a day or 2 at a time (and not still nursing.)
If it were me I would not be trying to prevent myself from having a second and just trust things will work out how they are suppose to.
This is how things worked for us. Life was way easier a year ago with a easy newborn and an 18 month old than they are now at a 1 and 2.5. Seriously...some days I think somebody in the house is crying at all times.
Jen - Mom to Jillian (10/2008) and Hayden (4/2010)
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True, but the lack of sleep with a newborn is a killer, especially if the older child's needs caused disrupted sleep as well. I would really not do well if Max were waking up at night as well.
My cousins were in this situation, their daughter has had several open heart surgeries and they knew one would be coming up in 1-2 years. They waited until that surgery was done and then got pregnant. But no matter what you end up doing, it always ends up working out somehow.
The only Easter Bunny I can get behind.
Maxwell Joseph 4/09 Lucy Violet 10/12
I don't know if you have followed my postings on baby Chase but they have 2 little girls that are 14 mo apart. It has been somewhat of a nightmare for them because they had to find people to take the healthy one sometimes for weeks at a time. If Reese got sick often 1 parent would have to leave with chase or vise versa. The lack of sleep at times was almost too much for them.
Now if the procedures could get pushed out until age 6 then I would wait until 2/3 and then have another. because if the sibling was that old it wouldn't be as rough, its just that having a baby with a special needs baby has been SUPER taxing on my friend.
my thoughts exactly!
How long will her recovery be? Do you have any idea what to expect for that period? Like could you be pregnant while that's going on?
If your plan all along was to have a 3-ish year spacing between kids, I'd probably just go with that. It will all work out somehow. I wouldn't jam in another kid before... Even with the sleep deprivation of a newborn, I still think it would be easier carting a baby around to doctor appointments and all than carting around a mobile tantruming 1 or 1 1/2 year old...
If you can make it work for your family I am in the wait it out camp, depending on how long they project the wait to be. If they expect that it will be in the next year to a year and a half I would wait it out. If they don?t think she will need the surgery for another 2-4 years I would go ahead and try to get pregnant now.
If K has to be in the cast she will be VERY heavy and awkward to carry, I would think that if she needs the surgery before she is 2.5/3 she is still going to want to be carried around some and it would be difficult trying to manage this and a newborn or toddler at the same time. In addition you will likely have a lot of follow up appointments and taking a todldler to these could prove challanging. If she has to wait until she is 4-6 for the surgery I would think she would be more likely to be using a stroller/ wheel chair while she is in a cast and this could be managed a bit better with a baby/toddler.
I would strongly recommend doing the surgery as soon as they are ready for it; I think that the cast would be a major challenge for an older child. I think that mobility and toileting issues would be much harder for a 6 year old to adjust to.
Have they not determined if she needs the surgery? Is the six months in a cast because she will be older when the surgery is done? When DD had it done she was only in a cast for 12 weeks and then another brace for 12 weeks, but she was only six months old when she had surgery so may have had an effect on her time.
My gut agrees with you. Especially with school. I don't know what you'd do about first grade while she is immobile.
My friend's little boy broke his femur last year when he was 2. He was in a cast from his waist to his knees on both legs and couldn't walk. Only 6 weeks though, not 6 months. But they found some creative ways to work through it. They made a thing for him like a big skateboard on casters... he laid on his stomach and scooted himself all over the place. He got really good at getting around despite the cast. So hopefully your DD will rally too!
This would be reason enough for me to want to try now, if I were you.
And - it all depends on the tempermant of #2 and there's no telling that in advance. If #2 is a mellow kid, it won't be THAT stressful. If he/she isn't - then it will be more stressful.