If I Knew Then What I Knew Now... (WWYSay?)

oh_maria · July 2011

I was asked today by a friend who is 6m along with her first pregnancy. She asked me what I knew now that I wish I had known at 6m. That got me thinking...

- What's the one piece of advice you had to "learn the hard way" that wasn't in the pregnancy books or boards?

- What's been the most incorrect/useless piece of advice you've received?

- If you could do the experience over again, what mistakes would you have corrected or what would you have done differently?

- If your daughter (real or hypothetical) asked you for advice on pregnancy/babies, what would you tell her?

I know for sure, next time around I will make sure that I monitor my BP and weight more carefully and the instant it's in the bad range, demand better care from my doctor and volunteer for bedrest. I never expected to be HR, but looking back, I shouldn't have assumed I would be "just fine."

Live and learn.

NJMom050911 · July 2011

I would tell her to relax. I was a paranoid mess and therefore was afraid to work out and gained way too much. I would suggest to stock up on diapers and formula (if using) because it gets pricey so it's nice to have a stock pile. We did this with diapers and we still don't need to buy any for another month. Collect formula checks! They are our current budget savior. Don't listen to peoples opinions on what they never used or whet worked best for them. I had a wipe Warmer on my registry and my coworker said it's a waste of money, I use it all the time. others told me to buy the super expensive Triple Paste, my baby is allergic to it. That's all I can think of for now

andigurl · July 2011

1. I cant think of anything off hand. Between my friends IRL, books, and what i've read around here I was pretty prepared.

2. Either I haven't gotten bad advice, or I've just ignored it because I can't think of anything off hand.

3. I would not have listened to my doc and gotten an induction. I would've taken my chances at having a huge baby and let it happen naturally in it's own time.

4. Just pay attention to your baby and do what feels natural. Don't be uptight. Remember people have been giving birth and having kids for centuries. It's not brain science. Relax, and have faith in yourself. You're not going to be perfect, but as long as you have your childs best interest in mind, you're doing the best you can.

tokenhoser · July 2011

1) Trust yourself. Honestly, that's what I've done right - even as a first time mom, I'm pretty confident in doing what feels right and ignoring people that supposedly know more than me. And so far it's turned out great.

2) The cloth diapers are too hard (they've worked great for us), that my baby needs bottles of water in the summer (he doesn't), um.... there's probably more, but I just nod and smile.

3) I wouldn't have done anything differently. I had a great pregnancy and a great birth. I think the most important thing I did was have a doctor that respected my wishes and was on the same page as me for my med-free birth.

4) I'd tell her to keep exercising while pregnant, and just to trust herself. And that breastfeeding is rough for the first few weeks and then gets really easy later on. Sticking with it is entirely worth it.

elisbu · July 2011

I would have watched my diet better. Eating cake while DD was in NICU felt good, but buy pants almost three sizes bigger than I was prePG is not good.
Stick with pumping/nursing just one more day, then one more day, then one more day..... I felt okay when I stopped, but a few weeks later wished I had done it just a bit longer.
Trust your gut: I knew something was wrong, but my doctor told me it was okay. In the long run it was, but we had a very scarey month.
Pay someone to clean your house REALLY well right when the baby is born. (maybe while you're at the hospital?) because you won't have the energy to clean that well again for months!!
Worst Advice "You're going to spoil that baby"
Best Advice "Take time out for yourself- DH/Mom/MIL...etc won't kill the baby.

mzsparklepdx · July 2011

It's been a really long day and I can't think of anything post-delivery, but the one thing I really wish I had done was to finish up projects/cleaning around the house because DD will probably be in pre-school before I get around to doing them. I feel like I wasted that week off I had from work before she was born.

MrsD1 · July 2011

1. Nothing comes to mind right now.

2. I've received lots of useless advice. Trust your gut. You get to know your baby and what your baby likes/doesn't like and what works.

3. Nothing. I had a great pregnancy and birth experience. I hope my next is just as wonderful.

4. Keep working out. I worked out every day up until the day before I gave birth and I felt great while pregnant, had a four hour labor, and had met my goal weight 7 weeks pp. Stick with BF'ing! It's painful and tough in the beginning but it gets so much easier and is extremely rewarding.

elisbu · July 2011

I thought of another one: buy used!!

you never know what your LO is going to like. We have a brand new swing that she hates, so we are getting a differernt type off craigslist. Bouncy seats, swings, cribs, highchairs, bobby(buy a new cover), buy it used!

mizzmeg · July 2011

- What's the one piece of advice you had to "learn the hard way" that wasn't in the pregnancy books or boards? When people say they go through diapers like its nothing, they aren't joking. Stocking up on them is best way to go.

- What's been the most incorrect/useless piece of advice you've received? I shouldn't BF my baby because she has reflux. Formula is best for a reflux baby. Yea, okay.

- If you could do the experience over again, what mistakes would you have corrected or what would you have done differently? I would redo my birth experience over. I wouldn't have gone for a c/s, but I thought I had to. Em wasn't in distress so I could have kept going for a natural labor. I still regret not understanding my rights.

- If your daughter (real or hypothetical) asked you for advice on pregnancy/babies, what would you tell her? Take others advice (including mine) with a grain of salt. Many generations have had babies and with each generation the rules changed.

disneyfan0511 · July 2011

- What's the one piece of advice you had to "learn the hard way" that wasn't in the pregnancy books or boards? Having a baby in the NICU is the hardest thing you'll ever go through. I wasn't prepared if things went differently from the "perfect birth" - I think just understanding that there is no such thing as a "perfect birth" would have been helpful.

- What's been the most incorrect/useless piece of advice you've received? Keep the baby up during the day if you want them to STTN, haha. LO naps 3 to 4x a day and sleeps between 6 - 8 hours every night. She has since she was 5 weeks, if anyone tries to wake her up when she is sleeping or tells me she sleeps too much they are nuts.

- If you could do the experience over again, what mistakes would you have corrected or what would you have done differently? I would not have got the epidural, next birth I'm definitely going med-free. And I would have watched my diet much, much closer. And continued to workout throughout pregnancy.

- If your daughter (real or hypothetical) asked you for advice on pregnancy/babies, what would you tell her? To trust herself and do what works for her.

Luma88 · July 2011

Worst Advice: Wait as long as possible before going to the hospital! I had a super fast labor and ended up getting to the hospital 10 minutes before my baby was born. Everything worked out and I actually had a natural childbirth, but it's scary to think I could have had the baby on the side of the road if I had waited a little longer.

Best Advice: Join a Mom's Group. So glad I joined mine. I have made so many friends and it's nice to have somewhere to go every once in a while. It made me get out at a time when I probably wouldn't have!

Do Over: I really wish I hadn't listened to the lactation consultant at the hospital. She had me pump because the baby wasn't eating. Then I ended up using a nipple shield (even though baby had latched on right after birth). I wish she had helped me with latching if that was what he needed. 3 months later, he is still using a nipple shield - we are slowly weaning, but it feels as if I have just started BFing all over again!

brandioohoo · July 2011

my only advice is for her to journal and write to the baby, everything that is going on. i did and i love it. my only regret is not writing more often.

JMU_Bride09 · July 2011

I learned that if you're having timetable contractions and you feel constipated, that you're not constipated. You're in labor and should get to the hospital asap. It's not advice, but I did discover that when people can't tell that the baby has dropped, it doesn't mean he hasn't. Oh, and the advice to take your parentals with food was, for me, incorrect. Food didn't help make me feel less nauseous. What I would have changed was to take more photos. I have my weekly bump photos but almost no pictures of me with a bump out and about. Advice ...I would tell her to love every moment of it, even the sick and achey ones. I would tell her to look for inexpensive non-maternity clothes that can double as such. I would tell her to buy everything baby related early in the third trimester so she isn't scrambling and nervous near her due date.

NothingLikeBarbie · July 2011

What's the one piece of advice you had to "learn the hard way" that wasn't in the pregnancy books or boards? Nobody told me that recovery was going to be way worse than labor. I had an easy peasy pregnancy and delivery, but recovery was hell.
Also, write EVERYTHING down. I had a pregnancy journal, but I didn't write in it as much as I would like. It goes by too fast.

- What's been the most incorrect/useless piece of advice you've received? I get a lot of dumb advice, from people AND books. Don't take everything in the pregnancy books as gold. Listen to yourself and your baby and you will know what's right for you guys.

- If you could do the experience over again, what mistakes would you have corrected or what would you have done differently? I think I have done everything to the best of my ability so far. One of the best things I did was not jumped to be induced. I went 8 days overdue, and was able to go into labor naturally which was what I wanted so badly.

- If your daughter (real or hypothetical) asked you for advice on pregnancy/babies, what would you tell her? Cheesy quote, but it helps me through the long nights.
"Noone said it'd be easy, they just promised it'd be worth it."

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