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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
lovin life23
member
how did you say "goodbye" to your angel baby?
lovin life23
member
Tuesday we found out we had an incomplete miscarriage last Wed at 11 wks 4 days. Yesterday was my D&C..very traumatic in itself. Been feeling strong through those two days..this morning I reached down almost by habit to touch my tummy to sort of say "goodmorning"....for a second I forgot.
Today I feel the loss more than ever...my tummy doesnt feel the same..I'm starting to shrink back down...it all hit me in a new.way today.
I think my husband and I want to do something..just the two of us to say goodbye..because I havent really let go yet...I have been forced to now and I wasnt ready..I still cant believe it..
We might drive along the coast to halfmoon bay or santa cruz and be alone at the beach and somehow say goodbye there...
How did you say goodbye? I just dont know where to go from here but I know God is with us..
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Re: how did you say "goodbye" to your angel baby?
hello and I am so sorry you are going through this. I think a private memorial is a wonderful idea. maybe light a candle, or release a balloon and talk about the feelings you've had before and after the MC? others have planted gardens which is another beautiful remembrance.
I have clung to God since my loss, too. Otherwise, I would have gone insane.
My heart is as open as the sky.
Read about it on the blog
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
This may be TMI and sound morbid to some.... and if so I apologize.... but this is how I said my good-bye.
I opted for the natural m/c w/ Cytotec to help expidite the process- would have rather had the d&c as my last option- which in the end I did have to have.
The night I took the Cytotec I started cramping and bleeding. When I went to the restroom I felt something expell. I looked and there my baby was- I was only 10w3d but I could tell that was the baby- flesh colored and I saw what looked like an eye. I picked my baby up and held it in the palm of my hand. That's when I said good-bye and I love you!!! I was ok with doing that- felt like I could let go easier knowing that it was over by seeing it first hand. I say good-bye just about everyday... and I still reach down and touch my belly- miss that so much.
"The truth IS that the days will be filled with an unending ache and the nights will feel one million sad years long for a while. Healing is attained only after the slow necessary progression through the stages of grief and mourning."
Unfortunately, I didn't get to say goodbye. I was able to see my little boy, but my husband had very strong feelings about me wanting to hold him. So he had the nurse take him away as soon as the delivery was over. I have become very angry with my DH because of this.
So....instead I made a memory box that has a copy of his footprints, hospital ID tag, sonogram pics, and anything that was for him. I also got a tattoo of his little footprints with angel wings around it.
I love your idea about the beach. For some reason, the ocean has always had a calming effect over me. If I was able to do a memorial of some sort, this would be my option.
Our baby boy,Logan, was born still at 19w3d on 7/1/2011
Our 2nd baby boy, Mason, was born still at 20w3d on 1/31/2012
After a much needed sanity break... we are praying for our rainbows
((BFP 7/29/13)) ((EDD 4/12/14)) It's BOY/GIRL twins!!!
Figgs, i am so sorry. i would be furious, how DARE he make that decision for you. shame on the nurse also.
i cherished that time i had and i feel so bad for you that you were robbed.
This EXACTLY! I am so sorry you were robbed of this. Shame on that nurse! Bless your heart.
Can't fully blame the nurse. She was only doing what my DH told her to do. I do feel robbed and it is effecting our relationship a bit. I can't shake the feeling that I just tossed my baby away. I know, it's weird and untrue, but I can't help but feel this way. I think I may take the advice of up above. I really like the message in a bottle idea. This sounds like a perfect way to get my feelings out and say goodbte.
Our baby boy,Logan, was born still at 19w3d on 7/1/2011
Our 2nd baby boy, Mason, was born still at 20w3d on 1/31/2012
After a much needed sanity break... we are praying for our rainbows
((BFP 7/29/13)) ((EDD 4/12/14)) It's BOY/GIRL twins!!!
I kept remembering the Footprints in the Sand poem. And I knew that God was carrying me through the painful period after my pregancy loss. But I also knew that he was carrying my angel baby as well.