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If something were to happen to me...

punnkdorkpunnkdork
in Single Parents

Yesterday I had a breast u/s for a lump that concerned my doctor. I'm fine but in the 20 minutes it took to confirm the results I started thinking about wills and/or getting my affairs in order. At the moment, I have nothing prepared.

So, I am curious how you've handled this? Obviously, I need to get some sort of standard will put together and I assume I hire a lawyer to do this. Or is possible to write a valid will without a lawyer?

How do I handle the pregnancy? I know after the baby is born I can update my will to include him/her. However, what if something were to happen to me while still pregnant and the baby survived? I assume, this would still be considered a birth event but it seems like the baby should be addressed before giving birth and not after the fact.

How would custody be handled? The father is in and out of the picture at the moment and works on the road five days a week. I'm not saying that the father wouldnt step up and take care of the baby but in the event that should happen - could I assign a guardian, like my mother or sister? Do I need his permission to do this?

I own my home, a vehicle, have some stock and a 401k so we are not talking about a lot of assets but I would want those assigned to the child, not the father. Is it possible to assign the child as the sole beneficiary with some sort of guadarian to overlook the account - i.e. my mother (primary)/sister (secondary)?

I realize I need to seek legal advice on this issue but I was hoping that some of you might have gone through this process already and could offer some advice. I'm sure there are points of interest I havent considered or some pre-legwork I may need to do before consulting a lawyer.

So thoughts, anyone? 

 

 

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Re: If something were to happen to me...

  • DarthNBJenniDarthNBJenni
    Everything for my children is set up through my parents. If something were to happen to me, the only way my ex would have access to any money/estate/college funding I set aside would be to keep in contact with my family. This ensures that my children won't be taken away from them completely. He's such a whore for money.

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  • AmandaJordan1985AmandaJordan1985 member

    I'm having a will prepared next week actually. I've decided that should anything happen to me, my sister and her H will be the guardians of DS. We've discussed this and everyone is on board. They both realize the responsibility involved. All of my assets are allocated to my sister including DS savings account to insure that they are able to provide for him above and beyond what they have already committed to do.

    I have no plans to tell ex about this. My sister's H is ex's brother and it would start a hardcore battle. He's just not in any way, shape or form capable of taking care of DS.

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  • punnkdorkpunnkdork

    Thanks for the advice everyone!

     @AmandaJordan -

     Do you have joint/full custody of your little one? Does it matter in regards to assigning a guardian? I am interested in this process and if you wouldn't mind, would you update me after you see your lawyer? This is something I would like to do in the next three or four months!

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  • blairmcclureblairmcclure

    Some of these questions will need to be answered by an attorney but I might be able to help with some of them. I'm been spending a great deal of time getting my affairs in order "just in case" (After having a step dad and best friend pass away in their 30's you really never know what life will bring.)

     In addition to doing a standard will, I would also recommend setting up a living will and getting life insurance. If you were no longer here, you'll want to make sure whoever is caring for your child has enough money to take care of them the way you would like. When my step-dad passed away he had all of his money go into a trust for his kids where their mother is the guardian until they are 18, but the money can't be removed prior to that except for medical or educational expenses.

     You can definitely set up your will, living will and beneficiaries on your own without a lawyer. If you google search "free legal documents" you will find a few reputable sites that are pretty self explanatory. HOWEVER, I would recommend having an attorney look them over once you're done to make sure there aren't any loopholes, and to hang on to a copy for you just in case.

    https://www.ChroniclesOfABabyMama.blogspot.com

    First time mama-to-be! Due to have a BOY on November 24, 2011! :) www.ChroniclesOfABabyMama.blogspot.com
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  • crystalt426crystalt426 member
    I'm not 100% sure but in most states if any thing happened to you, the legal father would assume custody. You can have a will that you REQUEST some one else be the legal guardians, but if your ex is capable he will get the child. From there your family or who ever you want as guardian would have to go to court to get custody or visitation. We have custody of my SS and if some thing were to happen to my DH who is deployed, custody would go back to his mother. I would then have to fight her for custody even though his will says that I am to assume all rights and responsibilities from him in the event of some thing like that. 
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