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June 2011 Moms
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MIL vent- it's been awhile!

bunnymama625bunnymama625 member
in June 2011 Moms

We've always had a firm rule-- deal with your own parents. But DH has been seriously slacking off lately.

My MIL keeps buying us stuff since LO was born- not useful stuff or stuff we want, just STUFF.

Last time she came she brought a desk lamp... we don't need it. Another time, tons of plastic hangers... our closets are stuffed, we dont even have room to hang them. etc, etc etc Let's just say we have a closet full at her house of crystal bowls and candlesticks she's convinced we'll need "one day".

Now DH tells me she has bought us this little table and chair set for the kitchen. We have a tiny kitchen, and the wall she thought it would look "cute" on, we wanted to find something to use as a counter since we have NO counter space. DH wants to just keep them, I think they are butt-ugly and not what we wanted for the space, and that its insane that she is buying us FURNITURE at this point without even asking. She wants to bring them up when she comes next week.

According to our "rule", DH should be telling her no thanks and she should return them, but he's chickening out. I think this has been getting out of hand the last few visits and this is the last straw.

Should I say something myself or really insist on DH doing it? She's sure to be insulted either way, but we live in a tiny little apartment with no space for anything- I don't see letting this slide, esp since it is bound to just get worse and worse.

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Re: MIL vent- it's been awhile!

  • mrs mosbymrs mosby member
    At this point I would just tell her yourself. If you want to spare her feelings tell her you like the table but there isn't enough space for it right now. Ask her if she can hold onto it until you get a bigger place. By then maybe she'll forget about it.
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  • alm0309alm0309 member

    If her feelings will get hurt either way, and DH is not stepping up to the plate, then you should say something yourself.  Just let her know that you really appreciate everything, but unfortunately you do not have the space.  Maybe she can keep it at her house so LO can play with it there?  This reminds me of my MIL.  She keeps needlepointing us pictures to hang through out our house.  Not only is our house already decorated and we have no room for these, but they are ugly and old fashioned.  So I am now trying to figure out a way to say "Although we appreciate the weekly need point in the custom frames, we just no longer have room on our walls.....plus it is 2011.  Thanks anyway though!"  Grrrr.....this woman drives me nuts!

     Good luck and sorry for taking over your post :) 

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  • WheeLinTheSky3WheeLinTheSky3 member

    I agree with PP. If your DH wont step up (which would definitely annoy me). I would keep putting the brakes on the flood of stuff now. My MIL does this a lot. When we got our first apartment my DH used to come back from visiting them with old lamps and weird blankets, random kitchen gadgets, etc. I finally told him to stop bringing stuff home.  She still tries to give me stuff all of the time. I know she does it to feel involved (my own mom is awesome with interior decorating and we have the same taste) so anytime we have something new, especially if my mom was involved, suddenly MIL has some random thing she wants to give us.

    I just handle it like this. Here is my latest scenario:

    My dad re-painted a dresser from my childhood for the nursery. Well MIL suddenly had 3 dressers from their house that we had to have as well. I simply told her "thank you so much for the offer, they are great but theyre just not going to work for our house".

    With my MIL (and FIL), she just wants to be involved so I try to give them small tasks to distract them and make them feel involved (it sounds so sad, like they are small children). For instance..I asked my FIL to hang everything on the walls in the nursery and my MIL for her opinion of how I should hang them. It was a simple thing but they felt involved. Good luck, ILs are such a pain.

     

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