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I'm sorry, I didn't know.

Auzzy13Auzzy13
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

This is the first time that I feel as though my post will be objective and most cleansing. So here's my story: I was working for a major retail company in a fast paced section of the workforce, and I was the best. They had just offered me a major promotion (along with a sizable pay increase) and I was days from assuming that new position within the company.

Then I took a fall at home after becoming strangely light-headed after a shower, this caused my tailbone to become dislocated, I also developed an infection from an inner wound. I couldn't walk, I was on heavy medication, but with my doctor's notes they said that it was fine, to get better. Against doctor's orders I went back to work early, though my mobility was severely damaged and my job required extensive walking. Then it happened, one moment I was standing in a clear aisle, the next I was soaked in blood(sorry). I was in a highly public place so I ran to the first manager I could, he was male so I asked for a female manager.

 I knew what was happening, pain shot through my back like the branches of a strong tree, I was cold and sweaty. I found the woman and told her what I knew,"I think I am having a miscarriage," I said. She looked at me in disbelief then I showed her what I covered quickly with a long coat,"why didn't you tell us you were pregnant" was the only thing she could say, but I didn't know. I didn't know I was pregnant! And nobody but my fiance and I knew how badly we wanted a child.

That still is not the end, did they call me an ambulance? No, I had to drive home(the hospital was too far and I was feeling the telltale pressure). After I had gone to the hospital and recovered from my grief enough to be coherent (3days), I called work. They told me that due to my absences I was not to return, the managers I talked to didn't defend me, didn't say how big of an emergency it was. Now, in the market where I live, there are no jobs. Worst of all being unemployed means I can spend all of my time drowning in fresh sorrow. I wanted to share, needed to. I'm sorry if this is selfish and a rant, and I'm sorry if there are grammatic errors.

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Re: I'm sorry, I didn't know.

  • hungryhippohungryhippo member
    I am so sorry for your loss. Not only are you grieving the loss of your baby, but also the loss of your job. The way you were treated at work just doesn't seem fair at all. Sending huge hugs your way.
    TTC #1 since January 2011
    BFP#1 April 12, 2011, EDD December 24, 2011, strong heart beat at 7w3d, d&c at 10w6d
    BFP#2 Oct 24, 2011, natural miscarriage, EDD unknown
    After RPL testing my losses and subsequent infertility are considered unexplained.
    Cycle #22: Femara, TI, and progesterone = BFP!! 
    BFP#3 Dec 21, 2012. Beta #1 @14dpo = 134, progesterone 67.8. Beta #2 @ 17dpo = 664! Team green, EDD 9/1/13, healthy baby boy born 9/12/13!
    imageimage  My chart.


    Congratulations to the fabulous KGS2003! Her sweet boys are here! Grow boys grow!!!
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  • sweetface83sweetface83

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    For one, you aren't obligated to tell your employer that you are pregnant, unless you can't perform the basic functions of your job, even if you did know.  The fact that you didn't know also takes the blame off of you b/c how could you notify them if you don't know?

    My advice would be to contact your local chapter of the NLRB(National Labor Relations Board) and tell them your situation.  They'll be able to give you feedback about what rights you have.  

    If you are physically healed from your tailbone injury and m/c, you are probably eligible for unemployment.  You'd have to check your state laws for that but I'm pretty sure that you are.  I have an feeling your former employer will deny it, but you are allowed to appeal it(and you definitely should b/c they sound like some cold-hearted bastards and deserve to have it stuck to them!!).

    GL with everything!! 

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  • 1220winterbride1220winterbride member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story.

    My heart is as open as the sky.
    Read about it on the blog

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    2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.


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  • coastalmainecoastalmaine member
    That is terrible. I am so sorry this happened to you.  Right Hug
    Chemical Pregnancy 2001, Married 8/8/09, TTC April 2011, BFP 5/8/11, Missed M/C @ 9wk5d, D&C 6/21/11 BFP 11/13/11 Chase Everett born at 29wks 0 days on 5/7/12 at 2 lbs 14 oz, 14 1/2 inches long.
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  • Teenmom7Teenmom7
    Im so sorry! I don't even know you, and I really want to go yell at those managers. That is bs. I agree, I'd talk to a lawyer. There's no way that's legal. Praying for you!
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  • ella.mabelella.mabel member

    *ticker warning

    I agree with the others that suggest to talk to a lawyer.  While i don't know the epecifics of your situation, i am an HR manager, and i can tell you that there are various laws that protect people with medical conditions - fmla, ada, and pregnancy discrimination.  It is definitely worth a consultation, because the way they treated you was disgusting. 

    Good luck to you, and i am so sorry for your loss.

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