First time mommies come in...

heikem87 · July 2011

DH and me talked last night and I was telling him that I am really not sure if I want another one. He said that it?s probably just the situation right now and that my feelings will change as time passes by. He definitely wants another one(maybe because now he is missing out so much) but I dont know. Some days I just feel like I am not cut out for it. I am so exhausted and I just dont know if I want to go through it again. I mean dont get me wrong I love LO to death but sometimes I feel like it is just too much responsibility for me to handle. Anyone feeling the same way?

EFIRDAL · July 2011

It is hard when your husband is away. I am assuming by your posts that your is. I am in the same boat, DH was here for three weeks after she was born and I thought he was not helping me at all... That was until he left again. Just someone being there to watch her while I took a bath or to burp her in the middle of the night while I pumped was WONDERFUL! I took that for granted until he was gone and I now have to do it by myself. I feel overwhelmed some days and wonder why the hell I thought that I could do this my myself but, every day gets a little better and we get more and more into a routine. I know that I will want another one in the next year or two but, I want to make sure that DH will be home next time to help because I don't think I could handle a toddler and a newborn by myself.

It will get better. Maybe you won't want another baby but I bet once this one gets a little older and more independent you will miss the snuggles that you get now...

Mrs.Saxy · July 2011

I have 2. DS1 was textbook. If we put him down he was fine, he only cried when he was hungry. DS2 is another story. If we had DS2 first I might be saying what you're saying.

However, as time goes you forget the tough times and you relish the memories of milestones and laughter. As your LO gets older you might think, "how great would it be to have 2 of these" and then you will start over.

This phase is temporary. At about 3-4 months, things should change. At 6 months they will get better and when your baby can start to interact more you might not feel the same way. It's hard to think about it now, when you're in it but it gets better and more fun.

mizzmeg · July 2011

If I could financially, mentally, and physically handle another pregnancy right now I would. I cannot wait to get KU again. I want my children really close to each other (despite thinking I wanted 7 years between them both). I want to give time to this baby before having my next, but I don't want her to not have someone to talk to growing up. I plan on trying again next July. Once my Implanon comes out, we will be trying right away.

I am sure the feelings about another child varies person to person. I am pretty sure if DH was gone and she wasn't an easy baby, I would be quitting with this one. I'm prepared for the second to be my hard one!

theaustins05 · July 2011

Like he said you may change your mind, you may not though. I don't think it's bad to feel 1 and done. I'm doing most of the care for M now, but if we choose to have another DH will have to tend to M while I'm busy with LO2. I knew even after giving birth that I want M to have a little bro or sis. I agree with PP right now were in the tough stuff, soon we will get the fun stuff! Also I hear that the second is easier because your not as nervous anxious and scared (for the most part) because you have done it before and know what your doing/what to expect.

CanuckFan03 · July 2011

This has been a harder journey than I had imagined... And I have a hubby around that helps. My LO has been a medium tempered baby - certainly not easy going, but not crazy colic either. I originally wanted to have 2 or 3, really close together. I now think we'll wait a little longer for the next - I know it'll be super hard (I can't imagine the newborn stage with a toddler too!), but I feel really strongly about not having an only child (for a few different reasons) so we'll do it all again. It's hard to imagine now, but I know we can get through it. Having said that - there's nothing wrong with only having one. Or maybe in a few years you'll really feel ready for another. It's certainly not a call you need to make right this second.

h2ojock13 · July 2011

I don't think right now is a good time to be having the "another baby" talk. We've all been put through the ringer these last couple months and with hormones and sleep deprivation our feelings now might be different from how they are later (same as your DH said)

I would suggest you not even thinking/worrying about it right now. Take it all in, enjoy being a mommy to THIS baby and when your LO is grown enough in your opinion for you to have another baby then think about it and talk to YH. He may feel different about it too once he is able to spend more time with this LO and sees how much attention babies require from us.

I went going into this pregnancy knowing we would have more, all though on my bad days I would say HELL TO THE NO. We (MH and I) will eventually get there but I'm not going to worry about it yet.

iris427 · July 2011

Try not to stress about this choice right now. It's hard to think about having another baby one day when you just had one. In time things get easier and you may feel differently. And I'm pretty sure every mother on Earth has days where she thinks she is not cut out for motherhood.

FWIW, the second time around has been WAY better for me. I'm more experienced and I have a kid who is just easier. So you just never know what things will be like.

Athena0809 · July 2011

Oh I could have written this post I feel the same and DH is here to help. When people ask I want to say "this is the hardest, most stressful and overwhelming thing I've gone through!!!" I can't imagine handling a NB AND a toddler! I love my LO to pieces but it's haaaard!!!!

fluffybuns · July 2011

Butting in.....

I'm not a first time mom, but I was! Until DD#1 was about 15 months old, I swore she would be an only child. But, she started to gain more independence, started sleeping through the night (at 18 months!) and just got easier to care for. I instantly knew I wanted another one at this point! Now we have two and I couldn't be happier!

Also, my delivery was really rough with DD#1, and she was not an easy baby by any means! So it took me a long time to recover and to figure the whole parenting thing out.

DD#2 is a completely different story-easy delivery-easy baby-sleeps like a teenager! And I think I could do it again!

It does get easier!

sparkymcgeee · July 2011

Sometimes I feel that way but mostly because of the cost. Kids are expensive. Also because of the recession. I don't want to saddle my future children with TRILLIONS of dollars of national debt. But I know we'll have more. Probably two.

NothingLikeBarbie · July 2011

I agree with Meimsx. I am starting to kind of want another one, but not for a while. Probably only one more though because kids are expensive and I want to give my kids everything.

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