Discuss: The opposite of red-shirting.

MrsAmyB · July 2011

A family friend is getting their son tested to enter kindergarten this fall.

He turns 5 on Christmas.

They are hoping he gets in so they will save money on childcare.

What are your thoughts?

Seattle_JiLLn · July 2011

1. I didn't know you could do this.

2. I think that's a particularly bad idea for boys.

3. I'm surprised there is "testing" when the real issue with entering school early is about social development and I don't know what kind of testing they could do to decide how mature the child will be.

4. I'd be really pissed if my parents hosed me over like that just to save some day care money.

itskacie · July 2011

I agree that it is a bad idea. Even for super smart kids... how much of an advantage would it really be for the kid! Just to save some $$? Thats not really fair to the kid I think. They should be looking for other care options (programs through colleges or head start or something) IMO.

There is a kid who used to go to DD's daycare, and still does once in awhile, that is skipping 3rd grade and starting 4th next year. His mom is SO excited about it, but I dont think that it is really much of a benefit to him. He is smart and all, but now he is going to be REALLY young for his class (he was already young in his class due to when his b-day fell) and he is a little awkward already. Now he is going to have to make all new friends on top of it. I guess I dont really see the point...

cmcmillan · July 2011

I totally don't think it's a good idea. That would be like having M test, lol. From what I remember back when I was teaching kids who test in early, tend to have issues later on in school when the age differance/socially is more apparent. They are then growing up quicker then they are ready to, especially boys.

I know from a friend whos husband is superintendant it is really frowned apawn, and not something usually pushed by the teachers/school.

MrsAmyB · July 2011

I agree with you all. She compared him to his older cousins who were born very prematurely and are behind. One has Asperger's. She said that he can write his name better than they can. I said "Oh, Megan can write her name and is sounding out and starting to write small words". But I don't have any intention to get her in early. I think they are doing a diservice to him. For his sake, I hope he doesn't pass. Apparently, if there is room in the Kindergarten classes, they will take any child who tests and passes to fill the classes up.

It bothered me but I didn't say anything.

iHeartHimMore · July 2011

A few things pop into my head:

- Can you actually do this in public schools? I think private schools' age restrictions are different, but I had no idea it was possible in public school.

- If the only reason is to save $$ then I think it's a horrible idea. If he's actually ahead of the game academically and socially (I think they're equally important) then I can imagine entertaining the idea.

- I turned 5 in February while in kindergarten and never had any problems at any point during my schooling.

- I do think it is harder for boys to adapt if they're much younger than their peers.

Mrs.Kiltlifter · July 2011

I wouldn't even consider it especially for a boy. We have winter babies and I already know they will start later. I think the parents are doing their child a disservice over a few thousand dollars in childcare. It seems to me they might be setting him up for being held back.

scarletii · July 2011

Wow! Hannah turns 5 in a few weeks, so she *could* start Kindegarten in the fall. She can write her own name, as well as anyone elses if you tell her the letters. She can count to 30 all by herself. BUT, socially, she is very shy with kids and adults, even ones she adores. Like her preschool teacher she ADORES. But when she first sees her, she will try to hide under my shirt. And at the preschool graduation, she stood with her class infront of all the parents with her hand in her mouth.

So, no, we aren't starting kindegarten, and I think it's the right choice. To decide to do it cause it's better financially, or even cause she meets the cut off, is to set her up for failure. Another parent said to me that they'd rather have a bored kindegartner than an immature college senior. 'Nuff said!

MrsAmyB · July 2011

iHeartHimMore:

A few things pop into my head:

- Can you actually do this in public schools? I think private schools' age restrictions are different, but I had no idea it was possible in public school.

I have no idea if they are correct or not. The grandmother was visitng my MIL tonight and was talking about it. She said they are taking him in soon or just took him in (I can't remember) and that IF he passes they won't know until just before school starts if there is any extra room in the class to fit tested kids in.

m&m823 · July 2011

Well, would you rather pay for an extra year of daycare, or an extra year of your kid living at home (food, etc)? Because that's what they are gonna get when he ends up repeating kindergarten because he was too young...

preston18 · July 2011

The cut-off for my district was Dec 2 and there were some later birthdays in there and as far as I know (thanks Facebook!) everyone is doing well so it's possible. But this was 30 years ago. And kindergarten was different. And even with November birthday, I wasn't one of the youngest. This boy will be, by up to 18months.

"They" say it mostly evens out by 3rd grade. Is saving $9k (still have to pay for summer) worth screwing up his early academic career? I get the temptation to push it with a summer baby that's right on the line, but this reeks of poor decision making at best to me.

theresab · July 2011

For saving $ - not the right reason.
Kid is ready academically and socially I don't see a problem with it.

You are always going to have young and old in a grade, why does it matter where the line is if they are ready? I was young (Oct birthday) but would have been bored out of my mind being a year behind. I still took classes 1 (or 2) grades up in high school and went off to college (3000 miles away) at 17. Luckily I had teachers when young that challenged me. I worry more about teaching to the lowest common denominator these days.

Parents need to do what is best for their child even if that includes going against the standard.

(I've also heard only some districts will test, very district dependant.)

applecider · July 2011

I kind of wish I had been started a year earlier.

Who wouldn't want an extra year to enjoy your twenties or establish your career or relax and not worry about aging ovaries!

This is all assuming that the child is ready for school. Otherwise its a moot point.

kristalovesjared · July 2011

If it was my child, I'd fork out the money for childcare. I don't understand why some people want their kids to be so smart and mature... They need to be kids as long as possible!

mrssmith717 · July 2011

As a standard response: Yes, I am opposed!

Should it be on a case by case basis, yes.

If parents make a big enough fuss though, almost anything can happen.

doublem · July 2011

cmcmillan:
I totally don't think it's a good idea. That would be like having M test, lol. From what I remember back when I was teaching kids who test in early, tend to have issues later on in school when the age differance/socially is more apparent. They are then growing up quicker then they are ready to, especially boys.

This is SO true. Also, if you look at what public schools are expecting children to do now in kindergarten, it is the same stuff we were doing in 1st (and sometimes even 2nd) grade when we were that age. Children aren't being given as much time focused on social development, so those early starters are especially at a disadvantage in that department. Since so many families are now red-shirting their children so they can be academically successful, that poor little boy might now be TWO years younger than his "peers." At that age, that is a really huge gap.

Just because they can do the academics does not mean they are ready for that social environment. With boys in my class who struggle socially/emotionally, 9 times out of 10 it is because they are the youngest ones who were started early in K. It is so much easier to get a child tutored in academics than for social needs

braveangel2 · July 2011

mrs_smith717:
As a standard response: Yes, I am opposed!
Should it be on a case by case basis, yes.

Agreed. Now of there was a loss of a job or a threat to them financially - for example, losing their home because of a loss o a job, then I could see trying to save the money. Generally though I like the idea of staying back. My mom was approached to move me from first to second, and she said no. She didnt think it would benefit me in the long run, but was very flattered by the compliment from the principal.

babyaustin725 · July 2011

scarletii:
Another parent said to me that they'd rather have a bored kindegartner than an immature college senior.

This was me. I started K at 4, turned 5 mid-November. I did fine (socially, too) until I was somehow allowed to graduate a year early. (I went to a private school.)

I went straight off to college (out of state) at 16 and did fine academically, but ended up making poor decisions. Not disastrous decisions, but ones that did altered the direction of my life. And that's me being a girl, and reasonably mature for my age.

Tman will be six in 11 days. Surprise He's going into first grade this year. He is a smarty pants, but he is the youngest in his class and his ability to be able to focus is definitely less than the other kids.

OP, I cannot imagine sending him a year early. It seems like setting him up for a tough time and maybe even creating issues for the teacher.

I understand daycare is expensive, but there must be another way to get through one more year.

StellaZ · July 2011

The rule is "5 by Aug 31" ....I wonder how lenient they are? Class size us such a huge issue, I hope they hold to it. I was just barely 5 when I started (Aug 26 bday). I was social, could read really well - but I nearly didn't pass 2nd grade - being young (and small for my age) caught up with me. Let kids be kids and give them a really solid start!

Seattle_JiLLn · July 2011

I have a late September birthday and our cutoff was December so I turned five after kindergarten started. And yes I did fine. But that was 35 years ago and the system has changed. So I don't think it's really fair to compare your schooling with kids now. Plus for a boy, hitting puberty later and being small for sports and dating and driving. That's all a big sOcial issue in high school. My brother skipped second grade and my mom always regretted it.

WatchPot · July 2011

MrsAmyB:
iHeartHimMore:

A few things pop into my head:

- Can you actually do this in public schools? I think private schools' age restrictions are different, but I had no idea it was possible in public school.

I have no idea if they are correct or not. The grandmother was visitng my MIL tonight and was talking about it. She said they are taking him in soon or just took him in (I can't remember) and that IF he passes they won't know until just before school starts if there is any extra room in the class to fit tested kids in.

You can do this: My neighbors did this. The kids are cousins, live across the street from each other and they wanted them in kindergarten together. They are 7 months apart and the one that tested in was a girl.

gymdog81 · July 2011

You can definitely test in early, although I think some school districts will only allow testing for kids up to a certain birthday.

We are actually considering this for Mattea, depending on how she is academically and socially when she is close to decision time. She loves school and learning, loves being with children a year or two older than her, and it seems like it may be the right option for us. I was similar academically and socially... and although I did not skip a grade, I was in an interesting academic program in grade school that had our entire class doing work a grade level ahead. Socially, I was friends with mostly older kids and always felt more comfortable hanging out with those older than me. Some kids will be ready at five, some at four, and some not until they are six. It is not about wanting them to grow up too fast or push them academically (at least not with all parents), it is about wanting them to be at the level that is appropriate for that child.

That said, it sounds like this family is doing it for all the wrong reasons. I would never even think about starting my children early for finanical reasons. There are other options out there for that.

sparkelz · July 2011

I am opposed to it when the reason is to save on childcare.

I don?t think it is a bad idea if the child is academically or socially ready. I was a late September baby and did not make the August 31^st cut off so I was ?old? for my grade. I was always advanced academically and I was generally board in school; I think I would have benefited from starting a year earlier. I was also 18 for almost my entire senior year, and lived on my own. If I could help it I did not want my kids to be 18 for most of their senior year and actually took this into account when we were planning DD2.

My DD1 has a mid August Birthday and turned 5 about 2 weeks before she stared kindergarten, she has always been one of the youngest kids in her class. She has also always been very advanced academically and even with being so young she is in advanced classes. Next year she will be in 8^th grade and taking a 10^th grade math class and has a 4.0 GPA; if she weren?t in the advanced class she would be bored. I believe that I would have hindered her if I had held her back a year because of her age. So it can work for some kids but I do not think saving $$$ is a good reason to start a child early.

scarletii · July 2011

baby_austin7/25:

scarletii:
Another parent said to me that they'd rather have a bored kindegartner than an immature college senior.

This was me. I started K at 4, turned 5 mid-November. I did fine (socially, too) until I was somehow allowed to graduate a year early. (I went to a private school.)

I went straight off to college (out of state) at 16 and did fine academically, but ended up making poor decisions. Not disastrous decisions, but ones that did altered the direction of my life. And that's me being a girl, and reasonably mature for my age.

Tman will be six in 11 days. He's going into first grade this year. He is a smarty pants, but he is the youngest in his class and his ability to be able to focus is definitely less than the other kids.

OP, I cannot imagine sending him a year early. It seems like setting him up for a tough time and maybe even creating issues for the teacher.

I understand daycare is expensive, but there must be another way to get through one more year.

And I meant high school senior going off to college! LOL

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