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Lifelong anxiety about your child's happiness...

anna7602anna7602 member
in Attachment Parenting

is just part of the deal, right? I'm having a hard week on this front as we dive into further specifics of our planned move to France. What seemed like this really crazy, fun opportunity when it first presented itself last month has now devolved into the mind-numbing work of researching pre-schools and grappling with my own work deadlines (while trying not to skimp out on quality time with DD) and feeling frustrated about postponing TTC for another 6 months to a year, minimum.

Up tomorrow: phone calls to a bunch of private pre-schools in Paris to find out what their admissions process is for mid-year enrollments (we won't be there until January). I just found out we don't qualify for public schools or daycare at this point, which is such a shame because public "maternelle" in France is supposedly excellent. I am so worried about DD liking wherever we choose to send her (and liking France in general), but feel like I have such little control. Sigh, sigh, sigh.

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Re: Lifelong anxiety about your child's happiness...

  • June2007June2007 member
    I am truly envious of your position and when your DD is grown I would bet that she will be grateful for this opportunity. It doesn't mean it won't be a hard adjustment for her at first but it's one of those learning opportunities that you are better for the struggle in the end. It must be so daunting to even consider such an upheaval but really, every child should be so lucky! I think your DD will be happy but I understand (after a recent move ourselves though no where near as major as yours!) that you are going to worry about it.

    I would be more upset about the delay in TTC because that's such a major difference in time/ age differences. But I read your earlier post and I do agree that it seems to be best to wait.

    Most of all though I'm extremely jealous and wish I was in your shoes! I read a quote recently from Ryan Reynolds (of all people lol) where he said something along the lines of " I realize that my problems are good ones to have". I try to keep that in mind when I'm feeling over whelmed and I think it really applies in your current situation!
    My 2 girls, both born on a Friday the 13th, are exactly 2 years, 2 months, 2 hours and 2 minutes apart! And Baby Boy joined us October 11, 2013! image
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  • Meg&JesseMeg&Jesse

    Yes I think that is a job of a mom.  Somedays I "relax" more than others, but eh...usually I think about DS's happiness and life every.single.day.

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  • jsugrinjsugrin member
    Yep, I think it is.  But remind yourself of this, you'd be worrying about these same things (for the most part) if you were here too.  Kids are so adaptable and resilent, much more than us adults Wink, she going to do wonderfully.  She'll follow your lead on the whole thing and in the long run she's going to be presented with an incredible opportunity that will enrich her life in ways that the rest of us could only dream about providing for our children.  Try to cut yourself some slack if you can.
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  • webMistress0609webMistress0609 member
    Agree with pp. But mostly, I missed where it was definite that you were moving to France. Where the heck have I been? Congrats btw!
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  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member

    I think you are putting yourself in a position that you shouldn't.

    You aren't responsible for your daughter's happiness.  You are responsible for creating an environment where she can be happy.  You can't control a whole heck of a lot of things in her life, and her responses are just one of them.  You CAN guide her environment and her influences to help her make choices and adopt an attitude that favors happiness.  Your daughter has the responsibility to find happiness herself, you're just making it easier for her.  (And, to be fair, finding happiness is kinda what kids are all about.  Transitions may be tough, but they can find happiness just about ANYWHERE.)

    You guys will do fine!

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  • anna7602anna7602 member

    imagewebMistress0609:
    Agree with pp. But mostly, I missed where it was definite that you were moving to France. Where the heck have I been? Congrats btw!

    Oh yes, it's real! Things moved from kind of hazy, to definitely January pretty quickly.

    And FWIW, the preschool telephone calls went really well this morning. It was awesome to have gotten such a daunting task over with by 7:30am! We're leaning toward a Montessori school, but will visit this fall to be sure.

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