newborn and mom having hard time... any suggestions are welcome

aichandaich · July 2011

I gave birth to my lil sweetie on Saturday. She latched on right after birth and fed well... or so we thought. I wound up with severely sore nipples... bleeding, cracking, the whole shabang.

I thought we were doing better today but the lactation consultant came in and said she wasnt latching correctly - too shallow and just around the nipple.

We've tried nipple shields and they help me a bit but she still isnt latching deep enough.

I am strong willed but so is my daughter... We've tried feeding a couple times since I've been home from the hospital, she is latching shallow still and refuses my full breast when I guide her into it. I feel like I'm starving her by not giving her a nipple feed. HELP! suggestions are needed - tears from everyone including DH.

thx, one tired momma

tokenhoser · July 2011

You could try laid back breastfeeding: https://www.biologicalnurturing.com/#

Latching advice with pictures

Keep trying! Do you have a La Leche League in your city? The leaders are great people to keep on speed dial. You don't need to be a member to ask for help.

rmwt001 · July 2011

Could some of the problem be that your breasts are so full it's hard for her to latch on. You may want to pump a bit - just enough so that they are softer and easier for her to latch on. Definitely ask the lactation consultant about this. Hang in there, it definitely gets easier.

funchicken · July 2011

Has your baby been evaluated for a tongue-tie? My DD's wasn't diagnosed until she was about 3 weeks old. Is your LC IBCLC certified?

larrysdarling · July 2011

Go to Kellymom.com and read about reverse pressure softening. You basically take your nipple and gently push the milk backwards towards your breast. It allows your nipple to stand out more even when you're engorged and can help the latch.

Also, take good care of your nips. It's going to hurt in the beginning no matter how good the latch. When you're done nursing, squeeze a lil milk and rub it onto your nips. Let them air dry and apply lanolin. Do this at every feeding. use breast shells to keep your shirt from touching your sensitive nips. Don't put regular lotion on them as it can dry them out. hang in there, it gets easier after about 2 weeks, or it did for me.

Try not to stress too much-if she's having wet pee diapers, is acting content and is gaining weight then you're doing great. It's tough but you can do it. Set short goals. I took it one feeding at a time, then one day at a time, then one week at a time, then one month at a time. Seek out a support group or lll. congrats and good luck!

lizardknitter · July 2011

I don't really have any suggestions other than the ones already posted (LLL and reverse pressure softening). I just wanted to say keep trying! I know how hard it is (my milk didn't come in for 10 days!), but it's so rewarding in the end. And if you have to become a pumping mom or supplement with formula, it's okay too.

Good luck!

aichandaich · July 2011

My milk hasn't come in yet. Should I be pumping colostrum to try to give her the nutrients?

ETA: Answers to all the questions. And a sincere, huge, monsterous thanks for all the advice... I'm researching everything.

Breasts full? Nope... don't think so.

LC IBCLC? She was evaluated by the LC IBCLC and she said it was short but that it shouldnt be a problem.

Content? Wet pee diapers, acting content, gaining weight... I don't have my milk yet, so just colostrum - she is not having a lot of wet diapers, not content and super fussy, and lost 6.2% of her body weight in the hospital.

I'm I worrying too soon? We just got released a few hours ago.

larrysdarling · July 2011

heatherlbuck:
My milk hasn't come in yet. Should I be pumping colostrum to try to give her the nutrients?

No, as long as she is nursing every 2-2.5 hours you don't need to pump. Have you had an appt with the pedi? How is her weight vs her birth weight? Is she peeing?

larrysdarling · July 2011

larrysdarling:
heatherlbuck:
My milk hasn't come in yet. Should I be pumping colostrum to try to give her the nutrients?
No, as long as she is nursing every 2-2.5 hours you don't need to pump. Have you had an appt with the pedi? How is her weight vs her birth weight? Is she peeing?

Also, know that her sucking is more efficient then a pump so she will help your milk come in faster then a pump will.

aichandaich · July 2011

larrysdarling:
heatherlbuck:

My milk hasn't come in yet. Should I be pumping colostrum to try to give her the nutrients?

No, as long as she is nursing every 2-2.5 hours you don't need to pump. Have you had an appt with the pedi? How is her weight vs her birth weight? Is she peeing?

See edits to post above... appt is on Friday with pedi, under 10% weight loss, not peeig a alot...

Superbly discontent!! Crys all the time. I'm sure its just first time moms jitters, but this has me shaken to the core.

aichandaich · July 2011

If we can't get her to latch on, do you gals recommend to continue nipple feeding?

It hurts but I'm willing to grin and bare it for my baby girl.

tokenhoser · July 2011

heatherlbuck:
If we can't get her to latch on, do you gals recommend to continue nipple feeding?

It hurts but I'm willing to grin and bare it for my baby girl.

Not if it's killing your nipples. Keep trying several times a day, but if you need to alternate with pumping and feeding (from a bottle or syringe or another way), do it. Try a different hold or position every time, if you can.

It did hurt every time he latched for the first couple weeks for me, but it only hurt for a few seconds at the beginning.

AdaraMarie · July 2011

Hang in there, I know it is tough at the beginning.

I found watching some latching videos online helpful, but there are so many I don't know what to point you to.

StarJay · July 2011

We had similar issues when we started BFing. The pain was horrible, the emotional stress of it all was even worse. HANG IN THERE IT DOES GET BETTER.

Our main problems were caused by a tongue tie - the trauma to my nipples was pretty severe by the time we were able to get it fixed. However, he also had a shallow latch for a long while. It did take awhile for us to figure that out, but the way we did that was to just keep trying. No matter how many times it took, if he didn't latch right I made him try again. Not going to lie, there were days it was frustrating and exhausting and all I did was nurse (post partum hormonal changes don't help with that any either).

Now my LO is 3 months old, BFing no longer hurts, and I am soooo glad I stuck it out, for so many reasons.

The PPs had good recs for you, especially regarding treating your "battle wounds." Air dry, lanolin, no lotions/soaps. The breast shells that were recommended may also have the added benefit of helping to pull your nipple out a bit, making a latch a little easier (that was my experience) Keep working with an LC and LLL.

stahlop · July 2011

It took us a while as well. 8 weeks before we got rid of the nipple shield, formula and bottles all together. LO ripped my nips to shreds and I had mastitis. But he is EBF now, so it was all worth it (LO was a lazy eater and wouldn't gain weight). Just stick with it, continue to see the LC and go to LLL meetings. It is so helpful.

aichandaich · July 2011

Monster thanks for all the suggestions, in the meantime if you have any more, please share...

funchicken · July 2011

heatherlbuck:
My milk hasn't come in yet. Should I be pumping colostrum to try to give her the nutrients?

ETA: Answers to all the questions. And a sincere, huge, monsterous thanks for all the advice... I'm researching everything.

Breasts full? Nope... don't think so.

LC IBCLC? She was evaluated by the LC IBCLC and she said it was short but that it shouldnt be a problem.

Content? Wet pee diapers, acting content, gaining weight... I don't have my milk yet, so just colostrum - she is not having a lot of wet diapers, not content and super fussy, and lost 6.2% of her body weight in the hospital.

I'm I worrying too soon? We just got released a few hours ago.

Sorry, I was trying to put my baby to bed last night.

IBCLC is International Board Certified Lactation Consultant--you should find one with this certification to help you. When you go to see the pedi, ask them to evaluate your baby for a tongue-tie. If they say, "well, it's short but not the worst I've seen" or anything like that, get a referral to an ENT and have it evaluated. You can usually get in for an appointment quickly as most of them will fit you in if you say you have a newborn with feeding issues. Sometimes the tongue-tie doesn't look too bad, but the tongue might still be tethered and hinder breast-feeding. The procedure to release the tongue-tie is very simple.

In the meantime, if you have to supplement, get your current LC or another one to help you with a breastfeeding-friendly way of supplementing. I had to supplement because my milk didn't come in until day 7 and my baby had jaundice. I used a nipple shield and fed the supplements with a syringe under the shield. My baby's tongue-tie was corrected at 4 weeks, and I was able to wean off of the shield at 7 weeks.

Good luck!! It's still really early, so it's great that you're trying to get help now!

J&M71208 · July 2011

My DD did exactly what you are describing...made me bleed within 1 day of being alive, only took the nipple into her mouth, and screamed all the time. As far as getting a better latch, I had to teach DD how to open wider. I did everything pp's mentioned and it didn't get better, so my LC told me to put one finger on baby's chin once she was latched on and firmly pull down to open her mouth more. Do this every single time she latches on, more than once if she closes her mouth again. This really helped my DD learn to open more. Now she opens super wide at the sight of my boob!

Also, we would up supplementing with formula in the very beginning. I was beside myself about it because I was determined to bf, but DD was starving, so we gave her a few ounces of formula each night after cluster feeding on me for 3-4 hours. It didn't hurt my supply because she was still nursing very often, but it helped her to be more satisfied. After two weeks or so she no longer needed it. Just a thought...

Good luck and as everyone said...it gets so much better. I am so happy I stuck it out.

Aly12501 · July 2011

I had similar problems. And no matter what the cause, it is so upsetting and frustrating when it doesn't come as easy as everyone wants you to believe it should be. I totally feel your pain. In the hospital, I nicknamed my daughter "Chompers" - I was in pain (she even bruised me) and she was not great at latching.

I went to a lactation specialist, my OB, my daugher's pedi, a baby nurse. No one was able to help. We latched and relatched a million times. Baby may have had silent reflex, causing her to arch back a lot. I definitely had oversupply. Not sure about the tongue issue.

Try all the suggestions that you get, but at the end of the day, if you can't make it work - please try exclusively pumping. It was the only thing that helped me get my daughter breast milk and I am so glad that I was dedicated to it. The pediatrician was the one to tell me not to torture myself and that it didn't matter how my child got breastmilk, so long as she got it. My daughter has had a very healthy and happy 1st year and I am so pleased with the ability to supply her nutrition, even if I wasn't able to do it directly. The bottle cleanup isn't fun, but having the ability to have my husband (and other family members) participate in her feeding is wonderful! My daughter just turned one and we are sucessfully weaning her off BM and onto Whole Cow's Milk. And as for the bond... my baby is completely bonded with me. Don't let anyone tell you that it must be direct for it to be perfect. Invest in a good pump (I used Medela PISA) - it's way cheaper than formula!!!

Best of luck!!!!

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