I need some help/advice/insight as to how I can put up with my MIL because I am seriously losing it and I don't want to put DH in any more of an awkward position. Background: MIL is constantly sticking her nose in our business, and to appease her we have just spent two 3-day vacations with them (one in Vegas, one camping) in the past 6 weeks, and she has thrown temper tantrums (pissy, crying, storming off) both times. Her beef was with DH and FIL, and I felt so awkward.
The main issue now is that she is, in a very passive aggressive way, accusing DH and I (read: just me) of splitting the family up on family occassions (birthday dinners, holidays etc). The problem is my husband's brother and SIL have a foreign boarder living with them (17 yo girl) who has developed leukaemia. They are being paid (long story) to look after her, and they insist on bringing her with them to MIL & FILs house like a member of the family. She is usually in hospital 2-3 times a week and her immune system is virtually non-existent. The truth is they shouldn't even be taking her outside the home except for hospital visits. Anyway, DH and I made the decision that for the safety of our baby, and to make sure I don't contract anything the girl can easily pick up on one of her hospital visits, that we would decline attending family get-togethers (while I am pregnant and for awhile after the baby is born) if the girl would be there. Apparently SIL (ugh..cow) and DH's brother will not leave the girl at home, so now DH and I are the ones who are 'ruining' MILs family get-togethers. The back-handed comments I am getting from MIL (not in DH's presence) are seriously cutting away at me, and I don't understand why she won't accept our decision. I even told her that DH and I had made certain decisions that were important to us while we were pregnant e.g. not dying my hair, no alcohol, no smoking etc, and this is simply another one.
Help appreciated Ladies - I am really close to confronting her but I am so fearful that I will let rip with a tirade of nasty words and put DH in a super-bad position We are not changing our mind on this decision but I have to find some way of dealing with her. God help me if I hear fom her one more time that we're just being overprotective as first time parents, and that hormones are making me irrational. GRRR!