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Attachment Parenting
rainlily
member
Need some advice re:sleep issues
rainlily
member
This will be a post and run, but I will check back when I can. DD bedshared with us until 9 months old, then we transitioned to her crib. She has slept by herself since then. She would fall asleep by herself in her crib, and then in her toddler bed. She did this for naps and bedtime. Awesome, right?
I am 28 weeks pregnant and I still nurse DD and wear her when she wants me to do so. She has developed more and more separation anxiety issues in the last several months. I can barely eat a meal without her in my lap. This is definitely a problem, because I have GD and have to eat quickly. I had been able to get my breakfast made and eaten before DD woke up. We would eat lunch, morning snack, and dinner together. My blood sugar levels are awesome if I work out after meals, so I get some exercise in after each meal. I would do my lunchtime workout during her nap.
Last Wednesday night, we put her to bed and walked out of her room. She was at the baby gate 5 minutes later crying. DH went to her and tried to soothe her for 15 minutes. I went up and tried for another 30. By then, I had to have my bedtime GD snack, so I brought DD downstairs and ate. DD went to bed with us at 10 pm. She had a bad night's sleep, as did I. The next day, I had a specialist's visit and left DD with my mom. My mom said that she didn't want to take her nap. DD was hysterical by 5:30 pm and fell asleep. She woke up at 10:30 pm screaming at her gate. She was up for 3 hours. I slept on the floor of her room with her on top of me. She had another bad nap the next day. That night, she ran screaming to the baby gate at bedtime, so I slept with her on the floor again.
By Saturday, she would run to the gate screaming at nap and bedtime. I have been going back to her and sleeping with her in our guestroom. I loved bedsharing with her as a baby, but am concerned about what to do in a few months when I have a newborn. That is my "long-term" concern. My short-term concern is that I have to do a couple of things during her nap (workout) and bedtime (test my blood sugar, have a snack, brush teeth, etc). I have tried to bring her downstairs with me at night, but she cries that she wants me to hold her. I can't get things done quickly with one hand. So, I've been telling her that I'll be back. She cries for awhile, but settles down. She waits for me at the baby gate holding as many stuffed animals as she can carry. DH has no patience right now. I have asked if he can stay with her for 20 minutes while I go and take care of my things and he stays for about 5 minutes and leaves her crying.
I am nervous about naptime today. I really do need to do some exercise to make sure that my blood sugar doesn't get too high. I will have to leave her upstairs for half an hour until I can go back. She used to play with her toys up there, but now she just cries/sits at the gate. I don't know what to do.
The only thing that has changed (other than my growing bump) is that MIL told her that monsters are scary. DD has a lift- the- flap Elmo book and one flap has "monsters" (Sesame Street characters) under it. MIL would flip it up and say "monsters, scary monsters, I'm scared, they come out at night, etc". Seriously. Why would you say that to a child? DD will say that she is "afraid of the dark, scary monsters here" at night. I won't leave her alone to sleep until she isn't scared, but don't know how to teach her that her room is safe. She never had problems with this before. I don't even know if this is the big issue or if DD is just going through a particularly long separation anxiety phase. Sorry this is so long- any advice for me?
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Re: Need some advice re:sleep issues
I'm thinking this is either a separation anxiety phase or the monster thing or both. Ari went through a patch of increased separation anxiety for a several weeks around his 2nd birthday. He's still had a bit at night but it seems to be passing. Can you work out with her near you at all? Or can you talk to her about if she doesn't want to nap that's cool but she needs to stay in her room & do quiet time?
No good advice really, just thinking this may pass for you quickly. I would talk to her about monsters not being scary too, & tell MIL to shush about this stuff in the future. Oy.
Thanks, ladies. Naptime went okay. DD started to say that there were scary monsters in her room. I asked her if her stuffed Elmo was scary and she giggled and said "no", then I asked about the other Sesame Street characters and she would say no. I just kept repeating that monsters aren't scary and there are no monsters here.
I explained that I had to go, but would be back to check on her in awhile. I left and she didn't like it, but didn't scream. She kind of whimpered. I came back in half an hour and found her in the guestroom on the bed with her loveys. I read a book near her and was there when she woke up. I think it helped her that I told her I was coming back and did.
I hope that you are right, webmistress, and that this is a short phase DD is going through. Fancy- thanks for the monster game advice. We'll try that out tonight for bedtime.
Hope it is going better! I realize this is a few days later... but... have you considered the "There's a monster at the end of this book"? (Grover is the monster, he spends the whole book trying to convince LO not to turn the page) - not sure if it would help or not?