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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Kflie83
member
Mama Bear came out... on BIL. ugh
Kflie83
member
My first pregnancy "snap"- Vent
I am usually pretty laid back, but DH's brother has always annoyed the crap out of me. He thinks he's God's gift to the world. He treats everyone like total crap, especially MIL. For some reason since he is a somewhat good looking guy who spends a lot of time at the gym, everyone wants to please him. This weekend was DH's family reunion. We rented a cabin with MIL and FIL. BIL and his wife stayed in a tent about a mile away with their 4 kids. They acted like they owned the cabin the entire weekend. They ate all of the food we brought for DS. Drank all of his milk, and were in and out of the cabin a million times a day. DH told his brother that there were 2 gallons bought by MIL just for his family (although we had to bring all of OUR own food) and not to drink DS's whole milk. BIL just said "Oh well, whatever" and they continued to drink DS's entire gallon of milk while their own 2 gallons went untouched. We went most of the weekend in a struggle with nap and bedtime for DS because BIL and his family wouldn't stay out of the cabin for DS to sleep. Yesterday BIL made a comment that DS was in his crib crying at bedtime. DH calmly said that he kept dosing off, but that BIL's family kept slamming doors and being noisy in the cabin and waking DS up. BIL said, "Oh well"!! and slammed the cabin door. The mama bear came out in me and I told BIL that he was being a really shitty uncle right now. I went in to go get DS since there was no way he was going to be able to sleep until BIL's family had left. When I came back outside DH and BIl were arguing and BIL was acting like he was going to fight DH. DH told him that he had no respect for anyone but himself and BIL started saying that he knew how to raise our DS better than we did. That he didn't need to go to bed already anyway (it was 9:00, DS was cranky and it was PAST bedtime). BIL left for his campsite and we packed up and drove home early this morning. SOOOOOO annoying, especially since we have been excited to see DH's extended family for a long time. Grrr!!! I know I shouldn't have called BIL a shitty uncle but... he is!!! I really don't want to apologize.
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Re: Mama Bear came out... on BIL. ugh
if you don't want to apologize then don't. I always feel like an apology is necessary when you say something hurtful that isn't true or that really hurt someone. If he's an asshat then chances are your comment did little to interrupt his day or his life.
If it causes further problems address it then. I have toxic family members and we got so sick of it that we just don't deal with them. Sure it means we don't get to see other members of the family as much as we like--but we do go out of our way to see those people and spend time with JUST them. If we have to share dinner, etc. with the other more nasty people we minimize that time as much as possible.
I no longer care that my FIL thinks I'm a ***. I spent a very long time trying to kiss his butt and make him like me and in the end, after watching him behave like a jerk to his son I realized that he wasn't going to be any nicer to MY children and decided I didn't want them to feel that kind of pain and have to deal with his crap.
Sorry, clearly I have my own family issues influencing my reply.
Me too! You do not owe anyone an apology, that's for sure. I think I would have lost my sh!t on your BIL especially after he commented that your DS wasn't supposed to be in bed. WTF does he know? UUUGGGGGHHHHHH! So sorry you had to deal with him.
He's an asshat.
I agree with all of this.