Washington Babies

Refusing to pee

Syd's been fully daytime potty trained for a while now but we've been having an increasing problem with her refusing to use the potty. She clearly needs to go, can't stand still from doing the potty dance, but we put her on the toilet and she wiggles and squirms and will not pee. She can hold it for a really long time too (she went once today). She's had an accident almost every day this week. We finally had to put her in a diaper while we were camping this weekend because she was running out of dry pants. I thought it might be shy bladder but it doesn't matter if were at home or away or who takes her to the potty.

Poop hasn't been as big of an issue but she has pooped in her night time diaper a couple times this week because she was trying to hold it.

Any suggestions? Right now she's been told that we will not be going out of the house until she starts peeing in the potty again because we can't have accidents when we're out. We've taken away juice (because she always drinks to much so it's water and milk only for her). We make her change her own wet clothes and help clean up. We've tried being nice, we've tried yelling (I'm not proud of it) but I'm at my wits end with her.

EDIT: Another relevant bit of info: She did have a time MONTHS ago when it hurt when she peed and that was the first time this happened. That was a one day thing and hasn't happened since and it doesn't seem that it's hurting her now so I don't think that's the issue anymore other than maybe she THINKS it's going to hurt.

Re: Refusing to pee

  • What if you set a timer or give her a watch with an alarm so that it's the alarm/timer telling her she has to go?   Also explain to her that it is not healthy for her body to hold it like that.   My friend's DD had bladder issues and the urologist said to make sure she pees 5x a day.  Once is bad.  

    Have you asked her what the peeing problem is?  Ask her in a time when you're not pushing her to go maybe?  

    whatever you do, don't make her more anxious about it.... It sounds like something is really bugging her or freaking her out. 

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  • Any possibilities that she might have a UTI?
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  • I don't have much advice, but wanted to commisserate at least. K has been daytime PT'd for a year now, and we have been having a similar issue in the last 2 months. I've had to go back to putting a change of clothes in the diaper bag whenever we go somewhere. I *think* it's a control issue with K. If I aske her if she has to use the potty (because she's dancing around and obviously needs to) she will say no and usually have an accident within 20 min. She too can hold it SO long and would probably only go twice a day if I let her. Instead, we've just determined certain times in our routine where we try the potty. Oftentimes, I go at the same time and find she's less resistant. We have her try upon waking, before leaving the house (even if just playing in the yard), and before sleeping or quiet time. This has REALLY helped and we've had far fewer accidents since doing this. We were having an accident almost daily and in the last 10 days, we've only had one. Anyway, this got winded but I just wanted to say that I totally understand your frustration and I am sure it will get better for you guys too.
  • imagekoosh ball:
    Any possibilities that she might have a UTI?

    I was thinking this too. Or did have a UTI and is scared it will hurt again? Maybe try giving her some cranberry supplements?

  • imageBriAndSean:
    I don't have much advice, but wanted to commisserate at least. K has been daytime PT'd for a year now, and we have been having a similar issue in the last 2 months. I've had to go back to putting a change of clothes in the diaper bag whenever we go somewhere. I *think* it's a control issue with K. If I aske her if she has to use the potty (because she's dancing around and obviously needs to) she will say no and usually have an accident within 20 min. She too can hold it SO long and would probably only go twice a day if I let her. Instead, we've just determined certain times in our routine where we try the potty. Oftentimes, I go at the same time and find she's less resistant. We have her try upon waking, before leaving the house (even if just playing in the yard), and before sleeping or quiet time. This has REALLY helped and we've had far fewer accidents since doing this. We were having an accident almost daily and in the last 10 days, we've only had one. Anyway, this got winded but I just wanted to say that I totally understand your frustration and I am sure it will get better for you guys too.

    We were kind of thinking it might be a control issue too, so it's good to know I'm not totally off base there. Thanks for the tips, at least I'm not alone!

  • Ben goes through a day or two of an accident here or there about every 6-8 weeks.  Totally a control issue.   But I think only going one time a day is more than control.  That's holding it hard core.  Even when Ben refuses to go when I ask him to, he still goes on his own most of the day...  
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  • imagechibipoe:

    imageBriAndSean:
    I don't have much advice, but wanted to commisserate at least. K has been daytime PT'd for a year now, and we have been having a similar issue in the last 2 months. I've had to go back to putting a change of clothes in the diaper bag whenever we go somewhere. I *think* it's a control issue with K. If I aske her if she has to use the potty (because she's dancing around and obviously needs to) she will say no and usually have an accident within 20 min. She too can hold it SO long and would probably only go twice a day if I let her. Instead, we've just determined certain times in our routine where we try the potty. Oftentimes, I go at the same time and find she's less resistant. We have her try upon waking, before leaving the house (even if just playing in the yard), and before sleeping or quiet time. This has REALLY helped and we've had far fewer accidents since doing this. We were having an accident almost daily and in the last 10 days, we've only had one. Anyway, this got winded but I just wanted to say that I totally understand your frustration and I am sure it will get better for you guys too.

    We were kind of thinking it might be a control issue too, so it's good to know I'm not totally off base there. Thanks for the tips, at least I'm not alone!

    Have you tried potty breaks?  We all go at the same time, regardless of need.  Right before we eat (bathroom and wash hands), 30 minutes after we eat or right after we clean up, and then we get to go play.  We had to do this with W because he would say he didn't have to go and then would have an accident.  So now, it's just part of his routine, and we all do it (even DH pretends to go to the bathroom if he doesn't have to go, so he sees us go too).

    BIG Brother born 10/19/07 little Brother born 1/31/12
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