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Single Parents
The Ex is pissed now...kinda long..WWYD?
I posted earlier that my ex lost his job yesterday and wanted ideas on visitation, etc... Well, after talking with a few friends/co-workers and my mom I sent him an e-mail informing he could have LO every Wed. Thurs and Fri. during my work hours and the 2nd and 4th Sunday. That way LO would stay familiar with SAHM that cares for him and he could look for work. Well, the SH** hit the fan, that's for sure!
After work when I met him at the police parking lot (our pickup/drop off location) He informed me that mediation is off the table as I was playing games and that I am now taking his Sundays away from him. Well, he is actually getting more time. He was having LO every Tues and Thurs. from 6-8pm and Sunday 1-6pm. Now he will have him 3 work days 7-4:30pm and EO Sunday 2-7pm.
I looked on FB later and he posted the below:
Direct Quote:"Yesterday I joined the ranks of the unemployed. My sons mom (Cu**) is palying even more games, she's lucky I don't belive in violence against women. I just feel sorry for my son who has to deal with her stupid ass. Damn 46 years old and who would have thought I would be in this fu**ed up situation. The only blessed thing to come out of this past year is Sebastian. I regret the day (my name here) ever came into my life."
And this an hour after the one above:
Direct Quote: "God knows I'm trying hard not to hate that bit** right now.Please pray for me and my sole the devil is ever so present in my life right now. How am I ever going to parent with this evil evil, cold hearted, emotioanlly detached selfish person. When I look at her she makes me sick to my stomach"
He is loosing it. I am actually concerned. He is Bi-Polar and I think he may have some kind of Paranoid personality disorder, as he seems to fit all the critera. Now, I am wondering if I should continue to allow LO to be there as often. I left a message for my lawyer, but I truely do not know what to do.
What are your thoughts??
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Re: The Ex is pissed now...kinda long..WWYD?
:lurker coming out:
I would make sure you print all of his FB post daily. Take screen shots. I had a friend who went through something similar who printed everything and it helped her win a case against her ex.
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
As PP said, print all of these comments and takes notes on anything verbal. Talk to a lawyer ASAP about the possible need for a temporary protection order. If he's that unstable because of a medical condition you don't want to chance something with your son.
Maybe you can get a court order for him to get cleared by a therapist before he's alone with your DS?? Either way, document everything whether you think it's significant or not. And meanwhile try to get some individual conceling for yourself, that way too much for you to be dealing with without someone unbiassed of the situation to talk it through with.
Thanks. I had forwarded the print screen of his FB page to my lawyer. I still don't know if I should stick to the parenting time I informed he could start. Hoping for advice from my lawyer. I had not been keeping a journal of every drop off but will start that now.
Thank you!
Do you have a CO in place or just an agreement between the two of you? Are you genuinely concerned for your child's safety if you ex has the visitation? If you are and there is no CO in place then you technically don't have to allow any visitation. If there is a CO in place then you could be held in contempt if you prevent the visit. Either way you're likely going to have to support your claims with evidence (so definitely follow the advice of pp about documenting, taking screen shots, etc.).
Regarding the mental health of your ex, when it comes to court you could request that he undergo an IME/psych eval so that his mental health and stability can be evaluated by a neutral party. Be prepared for him to then request the same of you and understand that they are not cheap. I requested one of my XH, so he started claiming I was mentally unstable; I completed my IME voluntarily so that the court would have no questions about my mental health and stability and it turns out I'm completely normal...but it cost me >$3k to prove that to the court (I've heard of these costing up to $5 or 6k). My XH never underwent an IME, but we were able to get his medical records that show he suffers from pretty severe mental health issues(some I was aware of, but the scariest ones I found out during the divorce). Because of his mental health issues he's only been granted 2 hours of supervised visitation per week. Good luck!