Hi! I'm new here... Intro and question...

pretiprinces17 · July 2011

Hi Ladies! My H and I had been together for 10 years, married almost 2 years, and just split up about 2 months ago. It's a long story of him cheating and lying that I will spare you all, but we do have a 7 month old little boy together. Even after everything he had done (and probably more that I don't know about) I was willing to stay together, do counseling, etc. to make it work, but he was not. We are not unfriendly, I think we have been together for so long that we are probably just better off as friends. He would rather be free to do whatever (or whoever) he wants than be "tied down" to a wife and family. Which is fine with me, I'd rather have that than be lied to and cheated on. However, we are doing everything possible to stay in contact and keep things "normal" for our son. Our families and friends think that we are doing a trial separation because we just became too unhappy, which is part of it, but no one knows what really happened so that there is no awkwardness from anyone for the baby's sake.

Anyways, DS and I moved in with my parents 4 hours away from H. I have taken DS to see H once since we moved out 3 weeks ago, and this weekend H and his family got a hotel room near my parents house so they could spend the weekend with DS. So today, H came and picked up DS and will have him until Sunday. I am having such a hard time not having DS with me. He's like a 3rd arm, I don't go anywhere or do anything without him. I am not working yet since we just moved, so I spend all day, every day with him. I think the other part that is making this so hard is that the split between my H and I was not something I wanted, which means being away from my baby is not my choice.

My question is, how did you all get through your first night/weekend without your kid(s)? I am not handling this well... brownies anyone?

ashley68019@hotmail.com · July 2011

I have a 3 month old and have started just recently with the every other weekend crap with my XH and I too absolutely hate it because, like you, it was not something I wanted. I just try to keep myself busy those weekends, believe me, they are still miserable, but you just have to get through it. Unless he is unfit to be a parent, be happy that he wants to be involved in his child's life. Sometimes I wish he wanted nothing to do with DS because it would just be easier for me, but for my child's sake I am glad he is putting forth the effort. Hang in there, stay busy, do something for yourself that you enjoy that you haven't been able to do with DS around!

pretiprinces17 · July 2011

Thank you, I knew someone here could relate. I am VERY happy he is involved in our son's life. And we are still friends so it's not like there is bad blood, I just don't like being away from my baby.

I agree, it would be easier on me if he wanted nothing to do with DS, but I too am glad he's putting forth the effort. Thanks again!

sweetie0228 · July 2011

Are either of you Court Ordered to have this WHOLE weekend visitation for infants?

Many courts do not start whole weekend every other weekend until the child is over 18 months. The every other weekend is only standard for older children.

If this isn't what you want go to mediation and come up with an agreement more like 4 hours sat/sun no over nights. And have a graduated that it's one over night sat-sun eowknd after 18 mnths and then at 3yrs fri-sun.

pretiprinces17 · July 2011

No, we are not going through the courts for any of this. We came up with the schedule on our own. I totally agree with it, I just don't like being away from him. I want his father to be involved and around as much as possible. We all made it through the weekend.

Friday was rough, Saturday was easier - I spent the day with them, and H brought him back this afternoon. I just wanted to know how everyone else made it through over nights...

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