Hawaii Babies

talk to me about sleep training... and other stuff

hi hi hi

d is 5 months today (4 months adjusted)! yay! he's still not sttn. he still only goes 3-4 hrs max. our pedi suggested that we start sleep training him soon.

he still gets hungry at night and so i feed him whenever he wakes up.

right now we have him in our room in the pnp, and tomorrow night we're gonna move him to his crib in the other room. the dr says he doesn't necessarily have to eat in the motn, but yeah.

is there any easy way to do this?

i figure we'll take it a little at a time. so right now we'll just put him in his crib in the other room and let him get somewhat adjusted to that. and then start the sleep training? thoughts? what did you guys do?

lastly, i've been gone so long 'cause work is killer. but dude! catch me up on the haps! lisa and lindsay- you guys are moving? stargirl is gonna have her baby? what else have i missed?!?!?!

D started out as a LUCKY CHARM but ended up being our LOVEBUG image
hawaii 10.2008 plan ;P married bio ???

Re: talk to me about sleep training... and other stuff

  • inamrainamra member

    Ahh, this is one of the roughest parts of early parenthood IMO! We had *sooo* much difficulty getting him to his crib because we coslept and he got so used to sleeping with us. I think every baby/family is different, but switching *super* gradually is what finally worked for us.

    I think I stopped MOTN feeding somewhere around 6-7mo, after we moved him to his own crib because I used to just nurse him in my sleep. I remembered that as long as he showed me he could STTN until 7am without a problem, then I would stop nursing him in the MOTN.

    What was hardest for us was getting him to sleep in his crib after his final nursing before bed at 8:30pm. No-cry didn't work b/c he'd keep fussing for us to come in and never end up going to sleep except for 20 min and wake up again. CIO never worked for us either b/c he'd just cry until he knocked out for 20 min and then cry forever again so both methods was just getting nowhere for us, but that's b/c LO is sooooo stubborn! So I had to transition from nursing him to sleep then moving him to his crib, to moving him over earlier and earlier everyday so he was drowsy when I moved him over, and now we can move him over when he's fairly awake (but tired/sleepy). That took us about ummm 5 months (eek!) but I think it's maybe b/c I would make reverse progress b/c I often fell asleep while nursing him and we'd cosleep again =P MH keeps asking me what we're gonna do differently with the next kid(s) in regards to this issue!

    Anyway, GL and hope you get more sleep soon! Sorry to hear work is rough (I know what you mean because I had to convert to PT because I couldn't manage FT anymore =/) but hang in there and hope it gets better for you soon!

    Sept 2008 Wedding | May 2010 & Mar 2012 Babies
  • I feel like I've tried and read all sorts of things in the past year we've been at this, and more important than any particular method was figuring out what he needed and responded to. From talking to friends, we all had different approaches, depending on our baby's personality and needs.

    A gave up MOTN feedings fairly easily. I think I just stopped feeding him when he woke and gave him a paci instead. He would still wake for a morning bottle around 5 am until recently, but thankfully he's now given that up on his own and waits until we're up for the day to eat.

    STTN, on the other hand.... A's 15 months now and I still wake up at least once a night. Up until a month ago, though, he would wake every couple hours, needing to be patted, until I'd eventually bring him into our bed so I could sleep. Then he'd sleep like an angel till morn. ;-)

    We tried various methods (unsuccessfully) since he was 4 or 5 months. It always felt like we went in waves -- some improvement, then regression, then improvement, then regression. CIO definitely did not work for us (he'd go 2 hours, and when he was older, he'd fall asleep standing up and twice busted his lip chewing on his crib, leading to blood everywhere). What eventually helped was our own sort of no-cry thing. I started putting him in his crib awake, on his belly, and kept repositioning him that way until he learned that's what we do when we go to sleep -- then I lie next to the crib (reading a book) until he's asleep. Sometimes it takes 15-30 minutes, but he stays put and eventually goes to bed on his own. I do that at bedtime and for his morning nap (we're usually out and about during the second nap). That's made a huge difference in his nightwaking -- far less frequent now, since I think he knows what do to when he wakes. And he no longer sleeps in our bed! My next goal is not to have to be in the room while he goes to sleep...  

    This has taught me a lot of patience! I'm still at it, too. (It's also great birth control!) Good luck!!!

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • Loading the player...
  • FWIW, my dudes delayed giving up their midnight feeding until they were a year old. Yep! A whole year old. They'd always been good at dropping feedings on their own, so we didn't want to rush them - they were clearly still hungry, so we simply continued following their lead, and eventually they gave it up on their own. They're big eaters (tonight they each ate an adult sized portion of lasagna!) so I think that's a large part of it though - perhaps their caloric needs are just higher than average, so they needed that midnight meal for a lot longer than average.

    Anyway, at 4 months old (I'll go with E's adjusted age), they were still having...I think 1-2 feedings a night after they went to bed. Bedtime was like 10pm at that age, and they'd have a bottle then and then 1-2 bottles during the night (around 1-2am and then every once in a while at about 5am), and they got up at 7am. I thought that was pretty normal for their age.

    Can I ask your doc's definition of MOTN feeding? Because if he's talking bedtime to morning, I think 4 months is still pretty young to go for, say, 10-12 hours without eating at all...

    Our guys have always slept in their cribs, so I don't have a lot of advice there. Does E nap in his crib during the day at all? If not, that's a good way to ease him into it. If you can't do that (being at work, etc.) then I'd just go slowly and start putting him in the crib drowsy but awake, and make sure you have a good routine so he knows what's coming next. And I wouldn't expect the first few nights to go smoothly - there's a good chance he'll wake up more than usual, so you might want to start it on a Friday night so you can rest during the weekend days!

    Oh! And yep, we're moving! Ben got a kickass job offer and I haaaaate where I work, so we decided to go for it. It's meant we've had to live apart for a while (only 2 weeks to go!) so that sucked. But we're almost done now!

  • I am completely no help on the sleep training for obvious reasons, but glad you asked this because it somewhat terrifies me. I'm hoping to get some good tips from responses here. I've read that Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby book, but to put it in to practice? Not sure I will be able to! Good luck to you, though Smile

    And yup, having this lil sucker in the next 2 weeks. Still (!!!!) waiting for my doc to call back with my scheduled c-section date. sigh.

    Hope D starts STTN soon! And GL with work Smile 

    cai(o)&cullen+ahk
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Hi Jenn!

    I can't believe love bug is now 5 mo old!!!!

    We didn't consciously do sleep training. I read The Secrets of Baby Whisperer book and followed EASY to give us some sort of a routine and from there, things slowly fell into place. LO slept in the bassinet in our room until she was 6 wks old. At 6 weeks, we started the EASY routine which helped us a lot in putting her into a regular sleep schedule. We just followed EASY, tweaked it here and there until we perfected it (it was a work in progress).  I can't rememebr now at what age when we started doing this (maybe around 4mo?)...if she wakes up in the middle of the night and fusses, we'd just pat and give her her paci. If she wakes up again and does the same thing and the paci doesn't work, it means she's hungry so we'd give her milk. Most of the time, she's not really hungry and just want her paci. For months, she'd only eat around 5:30 am (goes to bed at 8 pm, wakeup to eat at 530 am, go back to bed and wake up at 7 am). She finally dropped the 530 am feeding sometime between 6-7 months old and she's officially STTN now :-). If she wakes up MOTN, she just finds her paci on her own and goes back to sleep. We put a couple of pacis in her crib. One paci is connected to a paci plushie so she's able to find it easier, even in the dark. Now, we just feed her when she wakes up for the day. I suggest doing things slowly and introduce "change" one at a time. When we transitioned E into her crib, I'd start putting her down their for naps until she got comfortable. IMO, babies are a creature of habit so just keep doing the same routine and they will eventually get it.

    That said, every baby is different. Baby Whisperer worked for us. Some had luck with the Ferber method, etc. It really depends on your baby and whether it works for you and DH too.

    GL! PM me if you have questions :-). Miss you!!

  • We just sort of let it happen naturally, mostly.  At 4-5 months, he was still waking twice a night - about 1am, and again at about 5am, then he'd go back down until about 8am.  That was about the time that we started putting him in his crib for the first part of the night, but then he'd come back to bed with us after the first feeding.  We fed him at both those wakings at that age.

    It wasn't until about 6 months that I stopped feeding him at the 1-2 am waking (he was showing signs of readiness by not finished that bottle anymore), and just gave him his paci, and put him back into his crib.  After a week or so of that, he stopped waking at the time and started sleeping through until 5am more often, at which time we fed him and brought him back to bed with us.

    At about 9 months, I actively stopped feeding him at 5am, and started leaving him in his crib when he fussed then (again he showed readiness by drinking less at that time and falling back to sleep quicker).  That's when he started sleeping 11-11.5 hours straight through.  But I don't think it would have been possible earlier than that for him, anyway.  He needed to be ready, and he just wasn't until then.

    Good luck! 

    image
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • No real advice from me...we bedshared until Libby was 11.5 months and then moved her to her crib (started napping her in the crib around 10 months). She gave up her last MOTN nursing session around 13.5 months. She goes down now between 8:00-8:30 p.m. and stays in her crib until 8:00-8:30 a.m. BUT she still doesn't STTN. She wakes around 2:30/3:00 a.m. about half the time, briefly and then puts herself back to sleep right away (10 minutes or less). But we hear her stir awake on the monitor. She just no longer needs to be nursed or rocked back to sleep these days.

    At 4 months she was still feeding twice a night...she went to bed around 10 p.m. while nursing, and work again around 2 a.m. and 5 a.m. and then slept until 8 a.m. Around 6 months we made it a goal to STTN from 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. with uninterrupted sleep. She'd nurse to sleep around 9 p.m., then I'd dreamfeed her around 11 p.m. and then again around 5 a.m. and she'd sleep until 8 a.m. Again, we were bedsharing at this time.

    At four months old I would make it a goal to try to get him to STTN as defined by AAP: 5 hours.Yes, a SMALL percentage of babies will sleep 5+ hours, but that is not the norm, it's the exception, so don't beat yourself up if your little one isn't there yet. And I certainly wouldn't expect him to go longer than 5-6 hours at night without feeding, at this age. It'll happen when he's ready, promise! Good luck and trust your instincts.

  • aha! thank you thank you so much everyone!  =)

     i'm not sure what dr. means re dropping MOTN feedings. but based on everyone else, D seems normal i guess.

    we put him to bed at 7:30/8:00. then he wakes 10:30-11 for feeding. then again at 1:30/2:30 then again 5:30-6:30. he's ready for the day at 9:00.

    what's a dreamfeed? i see that everywhere, but i don't understand it.

    and yeah! i fall asleep nursing too. HAHAHAH so D ends up in bed with us by the early morning feed... hahaha

    step 1 of the plan is to move him to his crib tonight starting at the 7:30 feed. we have an inflatable bed in there, so depending how it goes, we may end up sleeping in there part of the night.

    i won't stop his nightfeedings yet. but perhaps when he wakes, i'll have MH pat him first and if he doens't calm down then i'll feed.

    our goal for now will be to get him in the crib. i think i'm comfy doing it all very slowly too.

    D started out as a LUCKY CHARM but ended up being our LOVEBUG image
    hawaii 10.2008 plan ;P married bio ???
  • That's so awesome he can sleep in until 9 am!!

    At his age, babies tummies are bigger and can be capable of not eating every 3 hrs at night.

    Dream feed is having them eat/nurse while they are sleeping. We used to do this when E was much younger. I'd dream feed before I go to bed. You basically feed them while they are sleeping :-). They'll just nurse while their eyes are closed. No need to turn on lights or anything. After feeding, you can put them right back to bed. No need to burp since they don't really take much air when they are nursing while sleeping. 

    yep, just do it slowly but surely :-). 

  • oh! that's what he does! he dream feeds at night. i think. he'll whine and cry a bit then i nurse him. so i end up falling asleep. hahaha

     

    D started out as a LUCKY CHARM but ended up being our LOVEBUG image
    hawaii 10.2008 plan ;P married bio ???
  • I don't think I have much to add to what has already been said.  Miss A wasn't STTN until she was about 9.5 months old.  at 4-5 months she was STTN in the technical sense of the term (one 5-6 hr stretch) but she was waking to nurse up until she was 9.5 months.  I think there's a common misconception that babies shouldn't be feeding at night when they are that age but I think their tummies are so small.  yes, some can make it but I think many others still need those night feedings.  go with your gut and not what you "should" be doing - you'll find that to be the case w/many things w/parenting :)
  • I can't add anything other because I'm going through the same thing.  R goes to bed around 8-8:30, he will wake up and fuss around 2:30 and I just pat his but and he goes back to sleep.  He will wake back up between 3:30-4:30 to eat then wake back up between 6:30-7 for the day.  

    He is doing much better, but it's slowly starting to get better.  As all the other ladies said it will just happen on it's own - I can't wait for that day to come! ;)  Good luck mamma!

    And yes, we are moving as well!  MH got a job promotion that moved us back to AZ and its going well.  I quit my job and now stay at home with DS, it's been a hard adjustment as he is still so young that the days get pretty boring right now, but I'm so lucky to have this opportunity right now.  We close on our new house at the end of the month and will be moving in the end of August after we have the inside done (painting, new carpet, shutters, etc)  Right now we are living with my SIL while we wait for our house to be finished.  I can't WAIT to get settled into our new home and start our new routines. :) 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
    | Olowalu, Maui ~ August 6, 2008 |
    | Family of 4 ~ April 2, 2011 |
    | Family of 5 - October 24, 2012 |
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"