When did you start and how?

scrh2010 · July 2011

When did you start teaching your child patience? And how did you teach it? R flips his lid when I am getting ready to BF him and am not fast enough for him. It is frustrating because it hinders his eating. He has also gotten really impatient for my letdown. I know for a fact that I don't have a low supply, and he has gotten very few bottles lately since I haven't had to leave him much, and even when I do leave him, he has started to refuse bottles.

Will I just have to put up with this until he is older? Or can I start working with him now? Do you have any ideas on how I can do this? Thanks for any help you can give!

StrawberryAlarmClock · July 2011

IMO, patience cannot be learned until they understand time. At this age, there's having what you want and not having it. Terms like "soon", "coming", "in a minute" mean nothing. With DS, I count backwards from 5. "Mommy will pick you up in 5,4,3,2, oooooone! Wheee!!!" It usually works because it's concrete. Try to stick to about 2-3 predictable steps and talk him through it. Mommy has her Boppy; Mommy is getting the milk out; Now we are nursing...Whatever you do, don't get flustered along with LO. Just calmly recite the steps and he'll eventually get it.

lanie30 · July 2011

Whatever you do, don't get flustered along with LO. Just calmly recite the steps and he'll eventually get it.

Yeah I think its ok to be flustered. I've never met a mother who didn't get flustered.

OP he's 6 months old. My 3.5 year old has JUST learned how to say "I'm gonna hold my horses mommy!" It's been a long road teaching patience and waiting and it definitely doesn't start at 6 months. He's sooo tiny yet.

It is frustrating. Let yourself get frustrated. It's ok, but you'll figure out ways together to make him understand that you hear him and are working on it but no sir does he get his way right away. Jo sings songs to wait or we think up things to do together while we wait. Or I use a timer that dings. It gets sooo much easier as they get older.

KateLouise · July 2011

My ideas are completely unscientific

But I've always used "patient" as a word when commenting on her behaviour. And I acknowledge her when she's being patient, even though she doesn't know she is.

If we're somewhere where we have to wait a log time, like the Dr's surgery, or i a queue in a shop, I always say things like, "You're so good at waiting. Thank you for being so patient."

I know she has no idea what the words mean, but to my mind she hears my tone and me praising her when she's happily waiting in my arms and just looking around.

Kestrel84 · July 2011

6 months old is way too young for them to learn to be patient. At that age I would focus more on anticipating your LO's needs before he gets to the "give it to me NOW!" stage. Obviously it's easier said than done and it won't work all the time but your efforts are better spent toward that than teaching patience.

My LO is 13 months and in my opinion nowhere near learning patience. He does understand that if he's hungry that I have to walk into the kitchen and get him something out of the fridge and he'll wait patiently. But if he's hungry and I have to actually cook something, then it's the end of the world in his eyes lol.

scrh2010 · July 2011

StrawberryAlarmClock:
IMO, patience cannot be learned until they understand time. At this age, there's having what you want and not having it. Terms like "soon", "coming", "in a minute" mean nothing. With DS, I count backwards from 5. "Mommy will pick you up in 5,4,3,2, oooooone! Wheee!!!" It usually works because it's concrete. Try to stick to about 2-3 predictable steps and talk him through it. Mommy has her Boppy; Mommy is getting the milk out; Now we are nursing...Whatever you do, don't get flustered along with LO. Just calmly recite the steps and he'll eventually get it.

Thanks for the input. I try hard not to get too flustered since I have been relactating one of my breasts so I am trying not to stress over things too much. I think I will start having key words for each step of the process to maybe make things a little more predictable for him, and maybe distract him by talking to him.

scrh2010 · July 2011

lanie30:
Whatever you do, don't get flustered along with LO. Just calmly recite the steps and he'll eventually get it.
Yeah I think its ok to be flustered. I've never met a mother who didn't get flustered.
OP he's 6 months old. My 3.5 year old has JUST learned how to say "I'm gonna hold my horses mommy!" It's been a long road teaching patience and waiting and it definitely doesn't start at 6 months. He's sooo tiny yet.
It is frustrating. Let yourself get frustrated. It's ok, but you'll figure out ways together to make him understand that you hear him and are working on it but no sir does he get his way right away. Jo sings songs to wait or we think up things to do together while we wait. Or I use a timer that dings. It gets sooo much easier as they get older.

I understand and don't expect things to happen overnight. I was thinking maybe if there was something that worked for others I could start early and maybe doing something like that would help ME Smile

Thanks so much for your thoughts. It helps a lot to see the age your DD started understanding patience and gives me a rough time frame, which was my other ultimate goal.

scrh2010 · July 2011

KateLouise:
My ideas are completely unscientific
But I've always used "patient" as a word when commenting on her behaviour. And I acknowledge her when she's being patient, even though she doesn't know she is.
If we're somewhere where we have to wait a log time, like the Dr's surgery, or i a queue in a shop, I always say things like, "You're so good at waiting. Thank you for being so patient."
I know she has no idea what the words mean, but to my mind she hears my tone and me praising her when she's happily waiting in my arms and just looking around.

That's an interesting idea. Thanks! His biggest issue is with BF, though. Because usually I have him in a wrap or sling when we are out and about so he is completely content as long as I keep moving and he has his paci Smile

by the way, your siggy pic is ADORABLE!

scrh2010 · July 2011

Kestrel84:
6 months old is way too young for them to learn to be patient. At that age I would focus more on anticipating your LO's needs before he gets to the "give it to me NOW!" stage. Obviously it's easier said than done and it won't work all the time but your efforts are better spent toward that than teaching patience.

My LO is 13 months and in my opinion nowhere near learning patience. He does understand that if he's hungry that I have to walk into the kitchen and get him something out of the fridge and he'll wait patiently. But if he's hungry and I have to actually cook something, then it's the end of the world in his eyes lol.

Yeah, I just wanted ideas mostly. The thing is, he usually isn't in the "give it to me NOW!" stage when I go to BF him, but as soon as he sits on my lap and sees me start lifting my shirt, he flips his lid because he knows what is going to happen and he doesn't want to wait at all. He is sort-of an addict Smile

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