- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Preemies
Post Traumatic Stress?
Hey all!
8/24/10 I had my 31 weeker by emergency C due to severe Pre E. Drew was 3.1 lbs and 16 inches at birth. She was in NICU for 1 month and came home at 4.7lbs. Today she is 10.5 months old and around 19 lbs. She is as healthy as can be, babbling like crazy, pulling to standing, etc. We are blessed.
For her first birthday I am making a scrapbook of her first year so that people can look at it and sign it at her party. I'm finding it VERY hard to work on the pages of her birth and first month. In fact, DH reminded me we had pictures on another camera of her actual birth that I should include. I went to CVS to develop them on their instand developer machine and looked at these pictures that I then realized I had never looked at. As I stood there I was crying. The CVS employee came over to see if I was okay and gave me a hug. It's not that I'm SAD per say, but looking at those pictures brought me back to that scary place. Am I the only one who gets like this? Did you? Does this feeling go away? I'm terrified thinking of having another baby because I can't imagine going through that again. I'd never been so scared in my life.
Another example is I was watching Grey's Anatomy, the episode where Callie is in the car accident while she was pregnant. They said "one more minute and we're going to take the baby" and then they turned around with this tiny baby in their hands. I was in shock and started sobbing. My poor DH was shocked that I reacted that way but I couldn't help it!
I want to be able to look back on Drew's first days and not feel so upset by it. Any suggestions? Am I alone?
\outl0\strokewidth0 \strokec2 
}
}This discussion has been closed.
Re: Post Traumatic Stress?
I have a 33 weeker and I still get emotional, especially lately when it seems like a lot of people I know either had a preemie or were faced the possibility of having one. It brought everything back and I just wasn't ready for it. I don't think it will ever fully go away. It's a part of my life and it sucks and as grateful as I am now, there's nothing that will change it.
Some women on here have suggested therapy to help cope, so maybe that's something you can look into. I'm not opposed to therapy, but I know how I am and how I hold on to things, so I think it's just how I'm going to be. It doesn't affect my life or function or my relationship with DD or DH, so I think I'm okay with it. Hopefully with time it will get easier and easier.
BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM
I've thought about therapy as well but, like you, it doesn't affect my every day life or my relationships, just when I sit and reflect about her birth. (or apparently, when watching Grey's
)
Just wanted to see if I was alone. I only know one other friend who had a preemie but her experience was so different than mine (her preemie was a 35 weeker who went home w/ her, not an emergency delivery, etc)
Omg, or that Pampers commercial with the preemie in it?? Kills me every time. Ugh.
I think the first year is the hardest because it's natural to reflect back on what was happening a year ago, your due date, etc. When she's, say, 4, it's not going to be such a big deal, you know? There won't be as many reasons to look back and think about her birth, so I think it'll be easier.
You're definitely not alone. I'm still sad/angry about the loss of 6 weeks of being pregnant, but now I'm more challenged to do it again and get it 'right'. Guess I'm a bit competitive. :-p
BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM
I've been diagnosed with PTSD. I had my baby at 26 weeks while I was traveling on a business trip, so my husband wasn't with me when he was born. I'm in therapy for it, and I'm slowly working through it. Therapy has really helped. Just being able to talk to someone about it makes it so much better.
I'd highly recommend going that route if you think something is still not right. It isn't worth suffering.
I have a REALLY hard time looking at the NICU pictures. We put all the early pics on shutterfly so our families could see them, and my mom ordered a book with some of them in it from the site. When I was visiting her house, I saw the book and felt upset that these were just out on display. She hadn't even thought of that being an issue (which is amazing to me, but that's my mom). I guess when I look at them I just know how hard he was fighting for dear life at that time : ( I hate that he had to go through that; any pics from that time deserve a lot of reverence. Anyhow, I think this is very normal and I totally understand. Despite these feelings, I also want to put something together for the first year. I'll just need to keep a box of tissues next to me!
I definitely suffered from PTSD bad enough to need counseling and zoloft. I am still on Zoloft now, but I do feel as though I am somewhat better.
Having said that, I still cannot look back at her pics and she's 11 months
My daughter was born very ill and the pics break my heart.
You are definitely not alone. I just hope it eventually goes away for all of us. ((HUGS))
Thanks for sharing ladies. Ironically, my mom also had a picture of Drew from when she was in the NICU on display at her house. I asked her to put in a picture of her now, not that one because it hurt too much. I noticed the last time I was there that she had changed it.
I think I might look into seeing someone. I dont' want this to affect our decision on having future children.