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Taking the first step?

SpoonersSpooners
in Single Parents

How do you do it?

It looks as though my FI and I (been together for 10 years) are slowly falling apart. He feels like he has only been with me for the past few years to make me happy while he hasn't been himself. He "loves" me, but feel he could love someone else more. While it hurts, I don't want him to be miserable, and I think he is. We have been in counseling for over 3 years and it has helped tremendously. However, once starting new medications for his depression, he has a new sense of awareness of his feelings which started this whole thing. 

We have one daughter who is almost 5, and our second daughter is due next month. While it's really crappy timing, how do you take the first step?

I've been a SAHM for the past year and half and have NO WAY of supporting myself and my kids. Staying with family and friends is NOT an option. I'm scared shiitless. No one knows and I don't feel like it's anyones business at this point. WTF do I do?

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Re: Taking the first step?

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  • PrettyInPearls23PrettyInPearls23 member

    I agree with Becca, especially the part about finding someone you can confide and and "lean on". It was a few weeks after STBXH told me he was leaving before I told anyone (my parents). I waited until he physically moved out because I was in denial. By saying it out loud to someone else, it made it seem more real and helped me to start the grieving process.

    I strongly urge you to find someone you can confide in.

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  • KristySnyderKristySnyder
    imagePrettyInPearls23:

    I agree with Becca, especially the part about finding someone you can confide and and "lean on". It was a few weeks after STBXH told me he was leaving before I told anyone (my parents). I waited until he physically moved out because I was in denial. By saying it out loud to someone else, it made it seem more real and helped me to start the grieving process.

    I strongly urge you to find someone you can confide in.

    Just had to ask do u watch Teen mom? Your son in your siggy photo looks just like Bently from that show...Very cute!!!!

    As for the FI issue...I am kinda going thru the same thing that's why I lurk on this board a lot...I have been arguing and mentally damaged by DH. I know deep down I need to get out and take LO away from this and find him someone that will love us both. But I don't want my family to know whats going on. Cause I don't want to become another statistic of my side of the family...almost all my cuz/aunts/uncles are not with their children's father, all divorced or just not with them for other reasons. I try so hard to keep "MY family" (DH, DS and me) together. But it can only work if everyone is willing to put forth the same effort...and well DH just doesn't...I literally have to check his calendar for free time to go to a park or out to eat or even just sit and watch TV as a family and it drives me nuts!!!!!! DH thinks work, car, and his FU***NG xbox are all before his son and me....In fact today he got out of work at 9:15pm came home went straight down to his "game room" and tossed a fit cause I asked him to come up and kiss his son good night seeing how he has not seen daddy all day (AGAIN)...He got pissed stormed up kissed his head hard!!!! and then stormed back down stairs. DS woke up  (of course) and I had to cuddle him rock him and nurse him so he would feel loved and go back to sleep. I feel so bad for my son its un real...he needs a real father or nothing at all!!!

    I am a strong women and I have been raising him practically on my own for 8.5 months I can do it the rest of his life YesYes

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