Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: 12-24mth
Nor am I. And now with Aaron's speech delay, he can't let me know what he wants. So if he doesn't eat, I always have yogurt ready. I won't let him go to bed hungry at this age. Maybe, after he's older and can better communicate, I'll reevaluate. But not for my 23 month old.
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
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I'm with you. The other night I put R's dinner in front of her and she started to shake her head no. I gave it about 5-10 minutes of serious protesting before I said ok and made her breakfast for dinner. She was hungry, she ate almost 6 of those mini pancakes along with a bunch of apples and some green beans.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
I will not remake a dinner, but that's what fruit and veggie pouches, fruit cups, pb&j, cereal bars and yogurts are often for in our house! Oh and frozen blueberries if I can stand the mess at that point.
Anyone else's often refuse at first and then 5 minutes later dive in?
My picky eater is getting better, but still throws major fits when he's tired. And I'll give up and give him something he likes, like apples, and just walk away from him for a few minutes. Usually that gets him started eating.
FFFC--I'm guilty of giving him a few megablocks or something "interesting" to play with at the high chair as a distraction. Then I just start sticking food in his mouth and he almost always eats. I think that's why he doesn't like to eat.. he'd rather play.
This exactly. And yes, sometimes it takes a few minutes to get into it. I will not remake anything (no short order cook here), but yogurt and pb&j work just fine. Sometimes K refuses to eat period, and others she'll eat everything in site. I won't force the issue either way, they know if they're hungry. Except L, who doesn't eat at all, not a good thing given his medical condition.
It is easy to say that "I refuse to feed my kid if they don't eat what I make"...you don't REALLY know if they are being truthful or just saying it to puff themselves up and make them sound like a hard ass or what not. Given that, 12-24mos is too young IMO to refuse totally and not offer at least SOMETHING.
Now, my 3yr old has to eat what he is given or go hungry. He still gets a bedtime snack though because I can't bear the thought (nor do I want to deal with) him being hungry in the middle of the night. Usually it is when I decide I've had enough of his defiance and start removing the food that he shapes up and decides he wants to eat. My almost 2yr old on the other hand still gets an alternative, but he likes food more then his brother so we typically don't have too many issues with him refusing his meals.
I feed Caroline whatever she will eat especially in the evenings. I don't want her going to sleep hungry and waking up in the middle of the night.
Plus, I just don't have the heart for it.
I know that meal times can be a power struggle. A toddler can see it as one of the few ways that they can have the upper hand. . . But I struggle with getting LO to eat enough. He is little, 15th percentile for height and weight little. (I know that is not the same as the 5th percentile or less, but he was in the mid 40's until he started crawling.). I am likely encouraging "picky eater" behaviors, but I feed LO what I know he'll eat. I encourage him to try what DH and I eat--but I can not (will not?) force him. I've tried. The end result is not pretty, and nobody wins. (And, I've noticed that LO's level of trust in me suffers greatly.). I figure that when LO gets a bit older, and understands bribing, I mean negotiation, he will be required to try what is served for dinner. If, after an honest attempt, he would like something else, easy, healthy, boring options will be available. But for now, since he is language delayed and can't tell me what he wants, and has a limited palate (sadly, much like my skills in the kitchen), I feed him what he will eat.
She is so picky we'll feed her whatever she wants, where she wants it. Sometimes that's yogurt in the bath tub for dinner. As long as she is eating something, that's fine. I don't want food battles and often she even refuses to sit at the table. I can't blame her - she doesn't see me all day so when I am home, sitting still and eating is not appealing for her, she wants to play.
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We're lucky in that Margaux is a fabulous eater, but we kind of do that. I make dinner, make sure there are at least 4 different things on her plate, but that's it. Sometimes we have dessert, but it's not related to how much or how little she's eaten. She doesn't get a snack after dinner time, but she does get snacks all day long, so I know she's not starving.
When I am making dinner, though, I do ask her if there's anything she would like, and if there is, I try to make sure that's one of the options.