Is It An Age Thing?

MyPunkinPie · July 2011

I find myself asking that a LOT here on TB. Like this poll that I found on the August 2010 moms board. Some women said the thought never crossed their mind to send a thank you note for gifts received at their LO's 1st birthday party.

So is it my age or is this a new trend to give party favors to the guests instead of writing thank you notes?

ETA: 2010 moms board, not 2011. Duh.

[Poll]

leffe1 · July 2011

I voted no for the birthday party. I think a thank you in person is sufficient enough. Now, if it is a shower/wedding I would and have sent thank yous.

BrideBuddies · July 2011

I don't think it's an age thing.. more of a "how you were raised" thing.

My parents never instilled in me the idea that it was polite to send Thank Yous. I think I sent them for my HS graduation gifts, but not for birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, etc. I try to be better now that I'm an adult, and we'll definitely make sure Charles is a Thank You kind of guy.

Heck, I'd be happy now if my family (or DH's too) actually told me if they received something I sent them.. let alone thank me for it.

gimmietimmies · July 2011

My answer is somewhere in between. Usually no for birthdays unless the gift giver isn't present to say thank you to. Same for any other gift giving situation, thank you notes for those not present. My only exception is someone who isn't as close (ie., MIL friends). Our families came to this arrangement though about the no thank you cards, but you must say thank you.

Except baby showers and weddings, because unlike birthdays, those events usually expect gifts, and favors don't count as thank you's at all. And I don't think it's an age thing, thank you's in person or via notes was something I was taught as a kid. Some of the posters on the month boards (and some others) either are young or act young, or act spoiled and entitled. Or ettiquette simply wasn't taught in their household and have no idea why they need to say thank you, even if the hand knit sweater in neon colors is not their style.

I like some of the ladies on the other boards, but a few spoil it for anyone else wanting to stay drama free (thank yous included!!)

AngelaU1971 · July 2011

I do send thank you notes out for my kids birthday presents. I don't for Christmas though because we exchange with family only. I don't know if it's an age thing for me.....my mom always taught me to send out thank you notes, so that's what I do

superaunt · July 2011

BrideBuddies:

I don't think it's an age thing.. more of a "how you were raised" thing.

My parents never instilled in me the idea that it was polite to send Thank Yous. I think I sent them for my HS graduation gifts, but not for birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, etc. I try to be better now that I'm an adult, and we'll definitely make sure Charles is a Thank You kind of guy.

Heck, I'd be happy now if my family (or DH's too) actually told me if they received something I sent them.. let alone thank me for it.

all of this.

Peppernut · July 2011

I voted yes, but I only send thank yous for birthday presents that were sent, not in person. All other gifts get thank yous whether in person or by mail.

stever · July 2011

I voted that I send a TY note for every gift. I don't reckon it's an age thing,I think it's a manners thing. I'm more than 10 years older than my cousins, but I write TY notes because I fear what their mom would say if I didn't write TY notes. From the time I could barely scribble my name she made sure I did the polite thing if given a gift... write a note. If that left such an impression on me then I'm sure my cousins are even more into acknowledging gifts and, like I said, they're early-mid twenties.

Kat28655 · July 2011

I send Thank you's for birthday gifts but not holidays (i.e Christmas). I've been to several parties recently with DD/DS that we haven't received a TY.

ntyravgmom · July 2011

I don't think it's an age thing, but what do I know? I'm surprised a lot said that it never crossed their minds to send for their LO's 1st birthday! Maybe it's just where I shop, but when I went looking for decorations for my boys 1'st birthdays, there were thank you cards in the theme hanging nearby. So I sent them with a photo of the birthday boy. I just think it's nice.

Strunella · July 2011

My mom ingrained it into my head that you should always send a thank-you note, so I'm very good about notes. But I also think it depends on the circumstances. Exchanging gifts with immediate family? No notes....but SIL/partner and MIL send us notes. That was fine when DH and I were dating...we were all trying to show our manners! HA! But now that DH and I are married, it's too formal to me. We all thanked each other in person when the gifts were opened. That's enough.

Anyone who sends a gift for any occasion gets a thank-you note. I want to acknowledge receipt of their gift and am also of the mind that if they took the time to buy & send a gift, then I can take the time to write them a thank-you note. DS will have this ingrained in his head.

This actually became a *hot* topic in my family when my mom stopped sending birthday gifts to my cousin's kids because she never received a thank-you note but continued sending gifts to my other cousin's kids because they always sent notes (or their mom did on their behalf when they were too young). My aunt got all in a huff because cousin/his wife "weren't good about stuff like that" and it "wasn't the kids' fault." Well, guess what? There's no Gift Fairy, so either acknowledge the sender or you're not getting any more gifts.

I would send thank you notes for a first birthday party. But once DS starts going to a zillion kid parties, I'm not sure what the protocol is there. I don't think notes are expected.

KerryHS · July 2011

I send and have my children send thank you notes -- but not to immediate family. Just don't think that children needs to send thank you notes to grandparents and aunts and uncles for birthday gifts. JMO

debbadebbadoo711 · July 2011

To be honest, I did not send TY cards for Charlie's bday or Xmas, but I did send them for my baby shower.

SFAug07 · July 2011

I send thank you emails for most gifts, but never paper cards (apart from the wedding).

SugarChick10 · July 2011

superaunt:
BrideBuddies:

I don't think it's an age thing.. more of a "how you were raised" thing.

My parents never instilled in me the idea that it was polite to send Thank Yous. I think I sent them for my HS graduation gifts, but not for birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, etc. I try to be better now that I'm an adult, and we'll definitely make sure Charles is a Thank You kind of guy.

Heck, I'd be happy now if my family (or DH's too) actually told me if they received something I sent them.. let alone thank me for it.

all of this.

Ditto. My parents never had me send Thank You's for birthday and holiday gifts--maybe because outside of my parents, the only relative we received gifts from for those occasions was my paternal grandfather. It seemed like thank you's were reserved more for "events", like baptism, first communion, graduation, weddings, etc. Having said that, I guess I look at 1st birthdays nowadays as an event. The majority of the time it's a gathering of the parents' family & friends, and I would send a thank you card in this circumstance.

When MH & I started dating, I sent thank you cards to his parents for birthday and holiday gifts--I just felt like I should, you know? Then my MIL told me it wasn't necessary to send a thank you, me thanking them when I saw them was plenty.

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