What do you call your in-laws? (clicky poll, NTTGPR)

lovethoseleaves · July 2011

Good morning (or afternoon) ladies!

I'm not that big of a poster, but some of you may know that I am not married. The wedding is in 9 days. We've been together for 11 years, living together for the last 4 years. Over the past 3 or 4 years, my future in-laws have been subtly hinting that I should call them Mom and Dad, but that I can still call them by their first names. I always kind of ignored it, since it was a side-note in whatever conversation we were having. Well, 2 days ago my future FIL did it again, but this time more directly "You can call us Mom and Dad, but you can still call us (first names) if you like." So, it seems kind of obvious that that's what they want me to do. But it feels weird. I feel like this is something that I should do for them, and that I'm just going to have to get over it. Which brings me to my question, what do you call your in-laws?
[Poll]

Rvnsgrl81 · July 2011

They continued to sign their cards (mom and dad and mom first name and dad first name) on cards to DH and I and for my cards it is their first names, so I figured that is what they wanted me to call them.

CranNRum · July 2011

I call them psycho.

MamaWino · July 2011

I use my in-laws first names and they've never said anything about it. MH calls my mom "mom" and my dad by his name. Weird, right? I think he knows that my mom thinks it's cute. Both of my parents called their in-laws mom and dad so I grew up thinking that was the norm but I just can't see myself doing it.

lin681 · July 2011

Congrats!! enjoy your wedding day!

I have been married for 2 years together 8 and I call my inlaws by their first name. Dont plan on calling them mom and dad. would feel weird, but that is just me.

cryssv · July 2011

My situation is really similar to yours - together 11 years, living together 4 years and just got married 2 months ago. I've called them by their first names for 11 years - it's weird just to change that after signing a piece of paper!! We write Mom and Dad on cards and they sign Mom and Dad on my cards but I still call them by first names when addressing them.

kelnyc · July 2011

I already have a mom and my dad passed away, so for me, it seems a little disrespectful to call someone else mom and dad... and I adore my in-laws!

lmsherwo · July 2011

CranNRum:
I call them psycho.

This! Haha. Actually, I call them Mr./Mrs. [last name]. My in-laws and I do not have a good relationship at all.

jaworski84 · July 2011

CranNRum:
I call them psycho.

BAHAHA! Me too! Just not to their faces! Wink

ara_cale · July 2011

I am much closer and more comfortable with my MIL than I am with my FIL. I call my MIL mom, but I call my FIL Mr. Lastname. I tried calling my FIL dad, but I think it freaked him out a little.

It also doesn't help that my ILs are closer to my grandparents age because they had my DH late, because with my FIL at least it makes me feel like it's disrespectful to call him by his first name.

Neither of them has ever hinted to me what they'd rather be called, but I know my MIL likes being called mom.

mel66 · July 2011

I call them by their first names. I think it would be so weird and disrespectful to call them Mom & Dad. I already have my own Mom & Dad and they can't be replaced.

Good post though... I'm always curious about this stuff too.

lovethoseleaves · July 2011

cryssv:
My situation is really similar to yours - together 11 years, living together 4 years and just got married 2 months ago. I've called them by their first names for 11 years - it's weird just to change that after signing a piece of paper!! We write Mom and Dad on cards and they sign Mom and Dad on my cards but I still call them by first names when addressing them.

Exactly, early on it was Mr. and Mrs P_, then it migrated to first names. I don't think I could all of a sudden call them Mom and Dad. Granted, they have been trying to make this happen for a few years.

kelnyc:
I already have a mom and my dad passed away, so for me, it seems a little disrespectful to call someone else mom and dad... and I adore my in-laws!

Yes, I should add that my dad died 5 years ago. I feel that way too. He's not my dad, my dad is dead.

michyme123:
JUST had this convo with my friends last week. I still call them by their first names. I have known them for 5+ years as the first names so seems weird to call them mom and dad. BUT once we have a kid, I will start calling them Oma and Opa (that is what they are hinting at wanting to be called by our kids, so will do that)

I have an Oma and Ota (couldn't say Opa as a kid, I guess). They have told us they want to be called Baba and Jidu (sp?) by future grandkids.

Thanks for all the responses! I really appreciate it. I'm one of the first of my IRL friends to get married.

vanillajen · July 2011

cryssv:
My situation is really similar to yours - together 11 years, living together 4 years and just got married 2 months ago. I've called them by their first names for 11 years - it's weird just to change that after signing a piece of paper!! We write Mom and Dad on cards and they sign Mom and Dad on my cards but I still call them by first names when addressing them.

This exactly. I have a really great relationship with my in-laws but they're not my parents, it's nothing personal it's just how it is. I call them by their first names unless it's something coming from both my DH and I and then I refer to them as mom and dad.

lewis0611 · July 2011

I call mine by their first names and they have no issues with it. BIL's wife calls them mom and dad and it really irritates the he!! out of my MIL, but that's probably because no one really cares for my BIL's wife (and trust me, she brought it on herself, but that's a whole other post). I probably could get away with calling them mom and dad but really I'm just not comfortable with it.

On a side note, my daughter calls them "grandpa (first name) and grandma (first name)" and that was her choice and they were fine with it... my MIL is apparently super picky about grandma nicknames, so grandma works for now.

Vonbabe · July 2011

I occassionally call them mom and dad but, for the most part I call them by their names. For me it is strange to call them mom and dad.

brachatzipora · July 2011

My parents-in-law would love if I called them mom and dad and sign all their cards and emails that. My husband calls my mom by her first name and he calls my dad Sir!!!

brookelynpaisley · July 2011

I call them their by first names. FIL has a nickname that I hate, but everyone refers to him as that, so I sometimes do as well. MIL hinted that she wanted me to refer to her as "Mom." If they give me a card, it's signed with their first names, but if it's to both of us, it says "Mom and Dad."

ETA: I think you should call them what YOU feel comfortable with and they need to respect that. I love my MIL, but she is NOT my mom. I would never be comfortable calling her Mom. If, over time, you feel comfortable, then feel free to call them Mom and Dad, but I think for in-laws to tell you to call them something so personal is really obnoxious.

obeach8 · July 2011

I call them by their first names, which has never been an issue. The way I see it--you have only ONE mom and dad, so I would feel really weird calling anyone else Mom and Dad.

Their Christmas card to us was signed, "Love, first name & first name", which was really insulting, and DH pointed that out to his mother, who said that she was "rushing signing cards"----how true that is, we'll never know. (They signed their card to their daughter and her fiance, "love, mom, dad, and family dog.)

Mother Meghan · July 2011

We never really discussed, so I continue to call them by their first names. They sign cards to DH and I as "mom" and "dad" and that doesn't feel weird, but I don't feel right calling them that.

Shayliz · July 2011

Sometimes I call MIL Mom, other times by her first name.

megemoney · July 2011

We call each other's parents by their first names. We both find it weird to call them mom and dad when they are not our respective parents. I don't care if other people do it in their families, just not our style!

mrskristend821 · July 2011

Rvnsgrl81:
They continued to sign their cards (mom and dad and mom first name and dad first name) on cards to DH and I and for my cards it is their first names, so I figured that is what they wanted me to call them.

I use the greeting card logic too! They always sign cards to both of us as Mom & Dad, but cards/emails to just me are signed by first names. Growing up, my dad always called my mom's parents by their first names, but my mom always uses Mr. & Mrs. for her ILs. I guess it really depends on the individuals and the dynamic that's there. I'd def feel weird calling them mom & dad though. I already have a Mom & Dad.

lovethoseleaves · July 2011

Thank you all so much! It's a huge relief that the majority call their ILs by their first names. I was thinking that calling them Mom and Dad was something I was going to have to do once we get married, and it weirds me out just thinking about! I told future FIL that if I was going to call them Mom and Dad, it was going to take some getting time.

willamina28 · July 2011

My option wasn't there. I call them by their first names, but they never indicated they would want me to call them mom or dad.

They do refer to me as "like a daughter." I would be kinda irritated if they wanted me to call them mom or dad, or if they refereed to me as their actual daughter.

mt05 · July 2011

CranNRum:
I call them psycho.

lol!

LovestruckAJ · July 2011

My in MIL has suggested to me that I can call them mom & dad. They even sign "mom & dad" on gifts & cards to me. I think they expect me to because their other daughter in law calls them that, but it's just not something I'm comfortable with.

Her intentions were good though, because I think she suggested it to make me feel like I was apart of the family too, despite the fact that DH was taking forever to propose!!

Betsystar · July 2011

I call the parents by their first name. but I call his Grandma "Grandma". It's kinda funny now that I think about it!!

sheilatakesabow · July 2011

CranNRum:
I call them psycho.

Yes

The Bump would censor what I call my in-laws.

Mackerel1984 · July 2011

we try not to cross paths so I dont really address them. There's no way I would call them mom or dad.

kdruffles · July 2011

They will always be the out-laws...

lewis0611 · July 2011

Betsystar:
I call the parents by their first name. but I call his Grandma "Grandma". It's kinda funny now that I think about it!!

I try to call his grandpa "grandpa" because he calls me granddaughter but it's really awkward for me. I have 1 living grandparent and the rest have passed on. I don't even call my living grandpas (3rd) wife "grandma" (though we no-so-affectionately refer to her as satan in dinosaur form, so she's made it easy to not call her grandma). Heck it's weird for me having any of them listed as "mom" or "grandfather" on FB... but my mom sent my husband a "mother" request pretty much as soon as I had a ring on my finger... lol

alf005 · July 2011

I call my in laws Mom & Dad. DH calls my parents Mom and Dad. But if MIL leaves a message or something for me she'll call herself "Mom B" so she won't just say "hi this is mom calling", it's always "Hi it's Mom B calling" which I think is nice and respectful.

After we got married I asked my mother in law if they were okay with me calling them mom & dad (my sister in law calls them by first names- i didn't know if that was her choice or theirs!).

I love my in laws and feel close with them even though we don't see them too often (living distance) and felt like if DH and I "became one" when we got married, then his parents are my parents and mine his. But I can see if there are strained relationships or discomfort about it for another reason, that someone would call in laws by first names.

BigIsland07 · July 2011

CranNRum:
I call them psycho.

Yes Yes

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Want a personalized experience?

What do you call your in-laws? (clicky poll, NTTGPR)

Re: What do you call your in-laws? (clicky poll, NTTGPR)

Me: 30, DH: 33 Married 8/3/08 BFP 7/16/2012 (8th cycle), EDD 3/27/2012, Delivered 3/24/2013 - IT'S A BOY!

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Me: 30, DH: 33 Married 8/3/08
BFP 7/16/2012 (8th cycle), EDD 3/27/2012, Delivered 3/24/2013 - IT'S A BOY!