Am I being a clingy mom?

preston18 · July 2011

In an over the top, bad way?

I'm supposed to go on vacation (I'm not saying where because I think that might cloud the responses) with two friends in May. There are a lot of factors that are making me lean towards not going, but the top reason is I'd be away from N for 6 days. I've only ever done one night and while it's heavenly I don't think 5 nights will be 5 times as heavenly. In fact, I feel physically "off" at the thought of it. I know a lot can change in 10 months, but in 10 months, he'll still be 3, not 12.

I fully acknowledge that if when he's 12, I cannot stand 6 nights away, I need to see a therapist.

This has nothing to do with DH's abilty to care for N, but I already feel as though I don't get enough time because of work.

scarletii · July 2011

In no way are you being clingy. I don't like to be away from my kids at night unless I am forced to do so. (I *think* you know of my situation...) Really, the only time I've been away from Hannah at night was when I was in the hospital with newborn Gavin. You aren't being clingy. I think it's just easier for some moms to go away for a few days than others, and that's ok!

MrsAmyB · July 2011

Is there a way you could only go for four nights? If you aren't comfortable with it, then you probably won't have fun.

We plan on taking Meg on a vacation without the babies for 4 nights. I'm nervous but we need to do this for Megan.

m&m823 · July 2011

I don't think it's clingy. I'd have a hard time too! That said, DH and I have left DS#1 for a few days and even a week once - but he was with my parents, which is like Disneyland to him! If it's not for 10 months, I'd hold off on deciding. See what you feel like. Can you book refundable tickets or buy trip insurance? I'd go ahead and plan to go but leave myself an out.

gina000 · July 2011

I don't think you are being to clingy. I feel the same way, I think with work I don't get enough time with my little guy. I would proabably pass in the same situation as you.

doublem · July 2011

That seems like a long time to me, too! I don't think I could do it. 2-3 nights, maybe. Do you really miss these girlfriends and want to go, or do you also want an excuse to not go? Maybe you could meet up with them for just a few nights if you really want to have the girl time.

preston18 · July 2011

doublem:
That seems like a long time to me, too! I don't think I could do it. 2-3 nights, maybe. Do you really miss these girlfriends and want to go, or do you also want an excuse to not go? Maybe you could meet up with them for just a few nights if you really want to have the girl time.

They both live within 10 miles of me. It's Hawaii so a shorter trip isn't really feasible/financially smart.

Add to it using 40% of my vacation days to be away form my family and I think it's not happening.

This is going to be a fun conversation. Ugh.

Seattle_JiLLn · July 2011

I don't think you're being too clingy, but I do think you would have a lot of fun and should go. If it's that long of a trip, I'm assuming it's somewhere awesome. I've been away from Ben for 2 different 2 or 3 night trips and it seemed hard at first, but it was so so nice to have that getaway. I haven't been away from Cooper yet, but I'm already looking forward to it and we've been talking to my mom about when she could come and watch both kids for us to get the hell out of town!

Brynnie2010 · July 2011

GO!!! This is something that you will look back on and wish you did!

I don't think you're being clingy, I think you're being a mom. It was hard to leave Livy, but I went to Vegas for my girlfriends bachelorette party, and I wobbled back and forth until the day before. In fact, I didn't even purchase my ticket until the day before because I couldn't decide if I could do it or not. Looking back, if I had not gone, I would have regretted it. And having gone, I know what I would have missed out on. It's an experience, for you and N. And it's a good one.

Seriously. GO!

doublem · July 2011

Is there any way you could have your H and N go along and have their own special time in Hawaii for a few days while you're with your girlfriends, and then you could reunite for the last few days and fly back together? I realize that adds a lot more $$ into the equation (no way that would work in our budget right now), but it's a thought...

tfarabians · July 2011

go! you will come back home and be a better mom and better wife! All of us need a break every now and then. At 3 there is a lot of fun for n and daddy to do together : )

sunmountain · July 2011

No I get it but I would go. Maybe that's because I have had long breaks and really appreciated that time to just reset and not take care of anyone or anything. Since you work outside the home that definitely makes it harder. I am super attached to my kids but still I need my own fun time to still be me because I am with them 24/7. DH and I went to South America for 10 days and a wedding for 4 days w/out him when he was 7 months. He stayed w/ gandparents. We left both kids for weddings and long weekends at least 4 times in the past year. I am in desperate need of just a break on my own so planning it for this fall.

If you can go and release it and have fun then go if not then try another time.

ChubbyCheekiesMom · July 2011

Do I think you are being clingy because you love your baby and don't want to be away from them that long? NO! But I do think maybe you should go, and see what it's like. You will never know if you can handle being away for that long until you try it. I've done 4 nights without my little man (he was not even 2 at the time) and I cried every time I talked to my mom or him. But then I was over it and back to enjoying my time away. You might surprise yourself, and you certainly deserve time away my dear.

jcyahne · July 2011

Like others have said, you are not being clingy...you are being a normal mom. I have only been away from Jillian for one night and Hayden never. And since I work, I get what you mean about your time with them being precious. That said, I intellectually know that I need a break. If I were you, I'd force myself to take the six days off (it's Hawaii after all!!!), and I bet you will have a blast. When you come back you will probably even have a new appreciation for your son.

And while this is a mom thing, in my experience this is not a dad thing. My hubs is more than happy to take off for a week plus to go hunting or whatever with no regrets. Sometimes I think us women need to take a cue from the men in our lives and learn how to take a break.

StellaZ · July 2011

Like ppl said - not clingy, but you should go. I get the working Mom thing - I don't really want much time away from kiddo either right now - our 3 day weekend away was perfect.

But think about the positives. It's good to reset. It's being a good role model showing him Mommies and Daddies need time to themselves. It's good for him to have time alone with Dad. It's good for him to miss you. It's good to have photos and stories of your trip to share.

preston18 · July 2011

jcyahne:

(it's Hawaii after all!!!),

and that's why I didn't origianlly say where! I must be one of the only people in the world not enthralled with Hawaii. I like it. I enjoy it when I go, but it is never ever my top pick of vacation destinations.

And Kauai is my least favorite island. Effin' roosters. And red dirt.

you've convinced me I should give the being away from N a try, but I need to evaluate the other factors--budget (we've had a couple big hits last few months), total time off available, and if doing this trip would leave enough time and money to do the planned family vacation next summer. Vacation with N and J wins out over trip with the girls.

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