How do you do it? Tiny vent...

Athena0809 · July 2011

Because this whole new motherhood thing is still really overwhelming to me. LO is 7 weeks no and I still haven't gone back to work, I'm getting cabin fever. But I'm too much of a wuss to go out, let me explain; DS is not sleeping yet, the most 1-2 hrs at night, nothing during the day, nothing, we do the whole feed, sleep, wake up, change diaper, feed again from about 2 am when he finally falls asleep until about noon or 1 when I finally feel awake enough to function the rest of the day. Mornings are out of the question, by the afternoon is too hot to go for a walk, if I drive anywhere I get very flustered because he screams bloody murder every time he's in the car. All afternoon is spent feeding, changing and entertaining him (which means holding him mostly) because he won't sleep at all. By 7ish I start his bed time routine, sometimes he sleeps for an hour then, then nothing until like I mentioned around 1am or 2am. It's getting to me, I still feel in a haze. I look out the window and feel that there's a whole world out there and here I am still in my pj's haven't had time to even brush my teeth, don't have time to cook dinner or any other mundane activity to make me feel normal again. I haven't gotten back to the gym because I'm afraid to leave him at their child care, DH has two jobs so he doesn't come home until 9 or 10pm...when does it get better? will it get better?

tokenhoser · July 2011

Awww... being that tired just sucks. Remember: it will get better. He won't go to college driving you this crazy (at least not this way!).

Do you have any friends or family that can come and just watch him for 30-60 minutes while you get out of the house alone or take a nap? You really sound like you just need a break. It's not that you're doing anything wrong, it just sounds like you got a tough baby. If you hang in there, eventually he'll get better at sleeping... or at least he'll get old enough to try sleep training him. The "Healthy Sleep Habits" book says you can try it at 3-4 months in extreme circumstances, and frankly, yours sound kind of extreme.

Don't take the posts about what some of us are doing as criticism that you could be doing the same thing. Every baby is different. If you're both still alive at the end of the day, you're doing enough.

Heather & Nayt · July 2011

Take a deep breath! You are doing great, even if you don't feel like it.

honestly, it has taken me 2 years to feel like I finally have a handle on this mom thing, and even then I still have days where I don't get anything done or I am still in my PJs from the day before at bedtime. It's ok. this stage doesn't last forever and everyone (and baby) adjusts differently.

is there anyway you can have someone watch him for a while so you can get out? I would also have your DH take over some at night so you can relax for a bit. The other thing that helps me so much since my DD constantly wants to be held is putting her in my wrap, so I can still get some things done around the house.

Hang in there, they are not newborns for ever!

Lisa102304 · July 2011

What about a Moby or a sling? Those both really help me when DD is fighting sleep or wants to be held and I am tired of holding her!

I am so sorry you are struggling. It does not last forever, I promise.

NicKL · July 2011

My poor baby has been dragged across the country in the last two weeks and we're still staying with my parents as we get the house ready to move in to, BUT the point is we don't have any real schedule either. One day he'll sleep 6 hours, the next he's up every 2 hours throughout the day, even at night. I do not buy into any one theory and I don't think its magic by any means, but I watched Happiest Baby on the Block yesterday and after swaddling/sushing/sucking a paci (which he hasn't taken since the hospital!) he slept 6 hours last night. He then took a 3 hour nap today, which he's been taking 20 minute catnaps. I think the swaddling really helped and I could tell he was sleeping really deeply after getting so calm first. This also could be a total fluke, who knows.

Anyway, it always helps to have options to try, even if "the 5 S's" don't work for you at least you have one more thing to try to help you stay sane. Definitely no advice on the car though, mine screams too. Good luck.

Athena0809 · July 2011

Thank you ladies for your words of support. I have a Baby Bjorn and sometimes I put him on it but it's not completely convenient for say, cooking, so I thought of getting one of those that I can put him on my back. Today I decided to delayed bedtime routine and we went for a walk, came home, did our bed time routine we went to sleep...for a half hour! I had to stop this post because he woke up and I've trying to put him to bed since 8pm. I gave up, he's in his bouncy sit crying, but I had to step away from him...ugh!

Mrs07 · July 2011

Don't pressure yourself to get out. It's a huge pain to manage the kid plus the stroller and crap by yourself. I've been out several times with someone else and only a few times by myself - mornings are a good time for us. Otherwise it would have been a no-go, it is far to hot during the day and no parking spaces are shaded around here which means the car and carseat would be 120 degrees when it came time to get back in!

When there are two of us, one rides in the backseat with the baby to sing and distract. We also take surface roads as much as possible and pull over into a parking lot to unstrap the baby if need be. Just don't be afraid to pull over, even for an hour, if you feel you need to to calm and feed and burp him or whatever. Chances are you won't have to, but I felt much better once I mentally gave myself that freedom.

We also had huge issues with the baby in the carseat. Things seem to have alleviated a bit as he has gotten neck strength and can hold his head up a bit more.

I wouldn't bother stressing yourself out over an outing unless you have a buddy to tag-team it with. You can always turn around before you get halfway there if things start heading south.

Tinybride08 · July 2011

Im sorry you are struggling. It will get better. I can imagine how awful you must feel. Being sleep deprived is hell. I went through it for 3 and a half weeks with DD. I remember posting on my local board sooo overwhelmed. I also went a week being depressed. I got alot of tips and while they all weren't doable, the advice that helped the most was not to be afraid to ask for help. Maybe a sibling or parent can stay for a night or even help during the day. Everything is so much harder when you're tired. The other piece if advice was don't worry about the house, don't worry about having to get yourself ready. All you have to do right now is survive. Just love and take care of that baby. That's all you have to do right now. Hopefully you find a method to put the baby asleep. My baby has been sleeping in a swing for the past 2 weeks, before that she was in a lamb bouncer that played music and would vibrate. She did start off in a bassinet but once we saw she liked to be vibrated or swung and would sleep through the night than we just kept with it. Eventually I know we have to move her to a crib but we are getting good sleep now and it let's us be more productive as parents.

ironmommy · July 2011

My DD was exactly like your LO -- she didn't want to sleep and we had to hold her constantly. I know it is draining and HARD. I remember nights when DH and I would look at each other and wonder how the human race survives ... it was just so hard we couldn't understand how everyone had kids and we'd never really heard these horror stories!

All I can say is, I'm sorry. I know it's really, really hard. And if your DH works that much, it's doubly hard. I felt like I was in an alternate universe for the first few months of DD's life. But slowly, things will improve and pretty soon you'll be blow drying your hair and putting on make-up, and you won't remember how things got back to normal.

My DD ended up being diagnosed with silent reflux. I don't know how fussy your DS is, but you might talk to your pedi about it. Also, with her reflux I found that the Bjorn was the best thing -- she was upright and close to me. I used to put my laptop on the counter and just nest or do whatever while she was in the Bjorn. Actually, I do that now with DS, too! It will hurt your back after a while, but it's better than sitting and holding, if you ask me.

Hang in there. I do know it's really, really hard.

kewltif · July 2011

Try reading The Baby Whisperer. It's taken me about a month of trying, but DD is slowly getting better at napping. The fact that I can even post this right now is a good sign! I am literally sitting in the dark n my ipad in her room intercepting her the moment she stirs from her nap. It has taken me the patience of a saint, but it's improving.

kewltif · July 2011

Also, a few tricks that have helped me. I use a sound machine of white noise when I put her down. I also cover her eyes with a bib for a few minutes. It sounds bizarre, but my MIL showed me how to do that and it works!

Heather & Nayt · July 2011

after re-reading everything, have you tried moving back baby's bedtime a bit? we start our bedtime stuff around 8, but she isn't actually ready to go to sleep until 10:30- 11 which is when I lay her down in her bed. so for those 2 1/2 hours i am interacting with her. (with a 2 yo around all day it gets hard sometimes!) but at that point dinner is over, dishes are done and I can just relax with her.

I also swear by the bed time lotion, bath stuff and baby massage, i really think it does help her sleep better. Granted she doesn't STTN yet, but I do get a little bit of sleep.

Want a personalized experience?

How do you do it? Tiny vent...

Re: How do you do it? Tiny vent...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards