Need ideas for my mom

michelleaxo · July 2011

Backstory: My parents lived in Albuquerque for over 40 years. They had a ton of friends and loved it there, but my dad took a high-paying job and they moved to Sacramento when I was in college. At first, my mom hated it because she didn't know anyone and she didn't feel like she fit in. Then she met a lady and they quickly became BFFs and suddenly my mom loved everything about Cali. My dad got transferred to Austin 7 years ago.

My mom hates it here. Hates it. She calls me crying once in a while talking about how much she wishes we could all move back to Sacramento. As much as I would love to (and I really would, I love it there too), none of us have jobs there and in this economy it is not practical. Both of my parents refuse to move away from my family even if it means she is miserable here, which makes me feel even more guilty. I think one of the biggest problems for my mom is that she dosen't have any good friends. The few friends she does have, she just has not clicked with very well. She dosen't work (well, she watched Gracie now but didn't work before) and her entire life revolves around me and Gracie. If she is not doing something that involves us, she is just sitting at home on the couch bored.

I tried to help her get invloved at our church and she didn't meet anyone there that she clicked with. I tried to get her involved in the Red Hat Society, but nope, that is for old ladies Confused . I am out of ideas on how to get her some friends. What else can I try to get her involved in?

mlf625 · July 2011

My mom made a few friends by volunteering for a food pantry, would your mom want to do some sort of volunteer activity? Maybe you could go along a few times to get her into it? Or what about a part time retail job? When I worked at Pottery Barn a lot of the ladies there were empty nesters and became really close to one another.

smb29 · July 2011

Sounds like she needs to get involved with a volunteer organization or civic group. My mom is retired and involved in so much I swear she is busier than when she was working. There are so many out there, surely there would be something that would capture her interest and connect her with people of similar interests. ACC's Non-Profit Center, United Way, and Greenlights probably all have listings of non-profits or could get her hooked up in someway. While its true that sometimes you just "click" with someone, when joining a new group or activity it can take a long time to get comfortable with the people and she needs to think about that too. Cultivating new friends is scary because you have to put yourself out there and work at it.

michelleaxo · July 2011

smb29:
While its true that sometimes you just "click" with someone, when joining a new group or activity it can take a long time to get comfortable with the people and she needs to think about that too. Cultivating new friends is scary because you have to put yourself out there and work at it.

Yes! That is what I have been trying to tell her but you put it much better than I did.

Jess.O · July 2011

I don't know how she would feel but maybe she could try a message board for older Austin women (if one exists...) My mom loves being online because she's not very good with people when she first meets them but if they meet for awhile in a setting like this she might feel more comfortable with them.

Also, I don't know much about these things but my grandma is a member of the Lion's Club in her town and they are always doing things. She might try something like that.

It stinks that she's lonely. That's a tough situation and I'm sorry that you (seem to) feel guilty about it. It's really nice of you to try to think of ways to help her.

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