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September 2011 Moms
lyse2143
member
Can we make a pact?
lyse2143
member
For the ladies that are sticking around, lurkers too, I think we need to make a pact.
I have seen several posts on b/c following these births and what not. Can we make a pact to not be dumb about it or we have every right to call people out? Suffering through IF, and even prior to that, nothing irks me more when there is the "ZOMG I think I might be pg because....." and its because they didn't do some part of their b/c correctly. They are on bcp but on an antibiotic, they were too drunk or lazy one night to use a condom, or they just didn't think it would happen so soon.
Please for the love of Pete lets all be intelligent women, use b/c if you don't want another baby, and if you have a "scare" own the fact that you were an idiot and don't deserve sympathy.
Andplusalso, you are TTC if you are not using b/c or if you are having unprotected sex. Don't say if you do get pg that you weren't even trying because if there was no b/c and unprotected sex, well that my friends is TTC.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Can we make a pact?
What, you mean EBFing isn't a foolproof form of birth control?
It was shocking (and really, really sad) how many of these posts I saw when I was on 0-3 and 3-6.
Seriously! Makes me want to bang my head against a wall.
Seriously? Eek. That's just...sad.
I am fascinated by how many people in the world think they have super powers and these rules don't apply to them. I always wonder if they just skipped that month in Health class during school.
Yep. It wasn't a daily occurrence or anything, and it was a lurker more often than not...but still, there were multiple, "but I'm BFing and hadn't even gotten a period, could I be KTFU?"
head + wall.
Quote of the day! I love hearing people I know have "scares" but then only to find out they weren't using anything?! I never knew I was associated with such God-like individuals!
Welll, DH has more than zero, but not a lot and half of those are non-motile sooooo we will not be using b/c so we will be TTC and there will be shock over the fact that it happened naturally if it happens since the chances are slim to none, but happiness and certainly not an "OMG what am I gonna do now!?" moment.
AND you CAN get pg before your FIRST PP PERIOD.
I feel like my reply below about being scared to get pregnant right away for completely selfish reasons but that I don't plan on using BC may have prompted this. Just in case, I apologize if it came out as inconsiderate because I really do agree with you completely. I don't plan on using birth control after this baby because I've never felt comfortable using it before (Catholic guilt). I'd like to go back to charting "to avoid" as soon as that makes sense (not sure how that works while you are EBF yet), but I realize that nothing if foolproof and I also realize that it may be a struggle or impossible to ever conceive again, you just never know.
I do promise not to be shocked if I get pregnant or complain about it, how's that?
ETA: No idea why I have to be so long-winded. In summary; I agree to be part of the pact and I apologize if my earlier post was insensitive. The end:)
No way sweetie. I actually was writing this post while you were replying, went back and read what you wrote and was hoping you didn't think it was about you. I've been around the bump for so long (pathetic) and seen different things posted on this board that prompted this. I actually give you credit for saying that you were thinking of the NFP but now are reconsidering or are nervous about it. Hey, I'm all about doing what is best for you, your hubs and your family, but there are people out there that will do it that way and then be truly SHOCKED if they get pg. These same people will whine, and cry, and be devastated about being pg again and THAT is when I get thoroughly irritated and want to shake them for being so dumb thinking that their method was foolproof.
I hope you see the difference, and I absolutely do not include you in what I was saying because you're intelligent and realize it may not be 100% foolproof.
Ok, shewwww. I've been around and lurking enough to see some of that myself and I know exactly what you mean. Thanks, dear, the pact is a great idea!
While I agree with you that precautions should be taken if you don't want a baby (and precautions that are more effective than "Well, I'm breast feeding so I can't!" I don't think this sentiment...
if you have a "scare" own the fact that you were an idiot and don't deserve sympathy
is a particularly great way for women to support each other. Just as there are many, many couples who have difficulty trying to conceive, there are people who are ridiculously fertile (some moreso after just having had a baby). Lots of birth control is awesomely effective, but none are foolproof. Also, frankly $h!t happens. An overly judgmental attitude isn't really accomplishing anything productive.
Ok good I'm glad we got that straightened out
I adore you and while I may not always agree 100% with what you say 100% of the time, I have more respect for you than to make a passive aggressive comment or post that is directed towards you.
I'm in. If I were to get pregnant again, I would be thrilled, no matter when it happened. I really hate the "I'm afraid I might be pregnant posts." They drive me nuts.
I'm in. Our "method" is going to be pull out and pray until we decide to really TTC for DC#2. We are fully aware that this method has a high fail rate (although it did work for us for about a year before TTC this baby). We are ok with it if we get pg so I promise not be surprised or seek sympathy, etc. if it does happen.
I put scare in the "" for a reason. A legitimate scare because you were doing everything you could and something still happened is one thing. A "scare" because you didn't take your pills, or took other meds that interfered with them and didn't think it would happen to you, or just didn't think you could get pg because you are BFing is one that I don't think deserves sympathy.
We may agree to disagree on this, and that's ok!
I think a lot of this is about knowing your audience. Going into a group of people who are TTC or anywhere where some women have suffered through IF and saying "OMG, I'm devastated I might be pregnant! We pulled out and EVERYTHING!" is completely crazy-stupid-inconsiderate.
I completely agree. And I realize that all of us did not suffer IF or have to TTC for long. However, for those that did, we know what it was like to encounter ladies who did not care to educate themselves on their body, and TTC. I think its up to a woman to educate herself on her body and how it works, whether it be for the purpose of TTC or B/C.
I, as well as many other posters, educated many on TTC and how their body works in all my time spent on TTGP, 3T and IF, and I'd be more than happy to help educate others on how not to get pg too if that is what they want.
I'm in.
You know, just yesterday, I was told by my cousin that I don't have to use any birth control while breastfeeding because she didn't get pregnant while breastfeeding. Really? Cause I am pretty sure that she got pregnant again when her DD was 5 months old and she was still breastfeeding.
Anyway, we are not going on BCPs after this LO, but we are going to use condoms. I am only planning on waiting a year before trying again and I don't want my system to get all jacked-up from the BCPs. I am in my mid 30s and we don't have the luxury of time.
I promise that if the condoms do not do their job, I will not act all suprised about being KU.
Okay, I see what you're saying. I thought the quotation marks around scare were simply added snark, but they were actually serving a grammatical purpose (yay grammar)! Yeah, it's a bit annoying when people do that.
It would also be a fail in basic logic--if you weren't TTC, why would you post on a TTC board?! Do people do that crap? I guess I shouldn't be shocked: people are total clods sometimes...
Agreed, there is a difference between doing everything right but having a b/c FAIL and being halfassed with your b/c and winding up pregnant.
But I also agree with LaComtesse about judgement. I had a girlfriend with a 3mo old who was BFing, on mini b/c, and then went on an antibiotic and wound up pregnant. Yes, she was stupid, but her situation was what it was and she was really upset - the last thing she needed was my judgement and calling her stupid, she needed someone to hold her hand and say "well, you can't change this, but you will be strong and get through this".
Granted she was friend and just some lurker on TTGP ...
I love this!
Lol, however, DH and I were so NOT TTC, (we weren't married yet either), I am one of those weird .1% of women that got preggers on BC. I'd been on the pill solidly for a year!
Oh well, we're getting a beautiful baby girl and we're financially stable and in a position where having a baby is not a crisis.
But I agree, if you're not TTC at least put a dang condom on! Not that hard ladies, really.
And pulling out? Doesn't work...*sigh* maybe we're just hoping for some sign of intelligence while some "women" are hoping for the attention of being pregnant.
Side Note: To the ladies TTC, baby dust to you all and GL!!
My little gummy bear
10/09-started our journey 3/14/10- Dx anovulatory 12/29 IUI #3 BFP beta 1-25, 2-60, 3-2064. u/s 1 beautiful baby
This. When I was on TTGP, it would drive me nuts to read idiotic posts like this. As Nat said, know your audience.
Lyse, great idea on the pact - count me in as an educated woman and one that will take responsibility for my actions :-)
Lyse...we don't always agree on topics, but I do agree here. Right after I had DS I had a few people (who never had kids before) tell me that EBF is birth control. I, even at that time, knew better than that.
Education is key! HA!
I'm in.
Btw, you should meet my cousin. She's due in October and when asked by her mother how she got pregnant, she said she thought you had 6 weeks of protection after going off bc. She's a nurse. And 36.
Ah, I do love this pact - count me in.
I love nothing more than the "but I was EBF ... I didn't know BPF". Seriously, where were you at that 6 week check up where the doctor always says that it isn't a good form of birth control and asks what you would like to do.