2nd time+ moms-- no childcare during delivery??

bergs720 · July 2011

Is there anyone else that has no support for when they deliver? I am starting to worry that DH will have to stay home with LO when I go into labor. We just moved to a new town, know almost no one (at least no one I would trust with DD) and the closest family is 3 hours away and may not be able to come at a drop of a hat. I have no idea what we are going to do, especially if I spontaneously go into labor (instead of being induced)

Has anyone had to give birth alone?

lvisser · July 2011

No way.

There has to be SOMEONE.. a friend, church member, neighbor? Anyone????

ETA - at least someone that can watch them while the family from 3 hours away can get there?

bergs720 · July 2011

I'm sure between now and then we can meet someone, but I don't even know if DH's family will even be able to come. They don't have flexible jobs that they can just leave at a moments notice, especially around the holidays when people have already planned their time off. I think I am starting to freak out about this!!

CommAve07 · July 2011

I would look into hiring a doula. They can really help support and coach you, if your DH has to stay at home while waiting for family to arrive for your DD. Worse case scenario, the doula can assist with caring for your DD while your DH is in the labor room. I hope you can find a solution to put your mind at ease.

sunnybrook. · July 2011

I would join a mom's group right now and start making mom friends. This will give you and LO time to get to know them. Surely as your relationships develop, one of them will offer to help when the baby comes.

If not this, then I would start looking for a sitter. Use her occasionally before baby comes, so LO knows her. You can talk to your church, look at your local college, ask other moms, care.com, etc. I actually found our sitter through CL and she's awesome!

We have no family around and knew no one when me moved here. Thankfully I met a group of moms through meetup and would call them if I go into labor. I'm having a scheduled c-section, so I'll have time to make arrangements but it will be the moms or our sitter staying with my girls.

atrampfbrown · July 2011

I agree with sunnybrook. Join a moms group. Look under MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) to get started. It's a great group with locations across the nation. Try care.com, too. Good luck!

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jhenry1204 · July 2011

My MIL is supposed to be flying in from South Carolina (10 hour drive) to watch Riley while I am in the hospital so that DH can be with me. If your family is only 3 hours away, you have to be able to find someone who's willing to travel down and spend a few days.

mrsgabus · July 2011

bergs720:
Is there anyone else that has no support for when they deliver? I am starting to worry that DH will have to stay home with LO when I go into labor. We just moved to a new town, know almost no one (at least no one I would trust with DD) and the closest family is 3 hours away and may not be able to come at a drop of a hat. I have no idea what we are going to do, especially if I spontaneously go into labor (instead of being induced)
Has anyone had to give birth alone?

Actually I am in the exact same situation as you except My family is 10 hours away and will take atleast 24 hours to get to me. I moved here not too long ago and have used two different sitters both who turned out to not be very good. I have no friends, no friendly neighbors and as I said the sitters from around here dont seem to be what im looking for. We are worried that we will have to have him at the hospital with us for the duration of my labor and me give birth alone in the room..

forensicmama · July 2011

I'm in the same pickle. I'm not sure what to do yet. My DD will be nearly five at the time of delivery, so it is possible that she can stay in the delivery room. I do have a couple of close friends, but I hate bothering them...

Anyway, I know what you're going through.

Danny'sGirl09 · July 2011

Same here! I have my in-laws around but I would never let them have my child alone EVER. They are vile people, well just my DH's siblings. His parents are heaven sent but siblings throw fits if they dont spend time with their kids, so theyd show up just to invade on my sons time with them. Its disguating and sad. They actually woulD be thrilled if baby didn't come, so our kids don't get shafted for golden boy's. (actually said) wevare looking into other options such as a moms group, a sitter, even in a pinch sitters that once you like one you cal request them. We also have an in a pinch type daycare facility where one can just drop off when needed to run errands go to the doctors or use them as a full time daycare. Nice option, I would just need to get myself adjusted to not being with my child Vs my DS who would love it! See if you nearby towns offer something similar.

MesmrEwe · July 2011

I would call it the next thing to "Heaven Sent" if DH was tied up watching DD while I was in L&D just so that he'd be useful (mind you, I told my OB "I don't care if I have to deliver alone in a barn as long as I get a good epidural")... With DD, L&D was 36 hours and he about passed out a few times from MY pain along with when I was getting the IV and later the epi... Heck, even after I delivered he couldn't grasp the concept of "bring me back something to eat (from the caffeteria)" when I hadn't eaten in almost 60 hours and all they brought me was a single scrambled egg, one piece of overly spicy sausage, slice of cold toast, banana (I'm allergic), and carton of milk...

I agree with the PP in that hiring a Doula might be the way to go... That way you KNOW you'll have someone on hand to attend to your needs even if when the time comes they go out to the waiting room and sit with your DD.

StephK86 · July 2011

I posted an add on craigslist yesterday for childcare. Not for during labor but for a few days during the week. I got a ton of responses from people who live super close to me, are certified in CPR and all of that, most have children and most have degrees in education. All of them are willing to give references as well.

If you really don't meet someone on your own why not trying that out? Look for a one time babysitter or one you can have in your phone book. You also have plenty of time to start meeting them and calling their references. Good luck!

adri77 · July 2011

No, i didn't give birth alone, but we had to yank DS1, who was 21 months at the time, out of bed in the middle of the night and take him to the hospital with us. Our neighbor, who said he could help as of 11pm that night when I started labor, didn't answer his phone at 3am. So we took him, it was horrendous, DH ended up walking around the lobby with him for 3 hours before my family could come. I hated being alone b/c I was having really painful contrax and the epi man was backed up.....but it all worked out in the end, it was just really stressful for me worrying about DS1 while in laobr.

This time, I will either A. Be asking SEVERAL neighbors or B. we will be in a new, bigger house, with room for my mom or MIL to stay with us the last couple of weeks. GL to you!!!

Linds1224 · July 2011

I'm sort of in the same boat. We only have three people to watch our other kids when this baby comes and all of them live over an hour away. Not a big deal if I get induced and can plan ahead but if I go into labour on my own and it's as fast as it was last time (1hr18mins) we'll have to take our kids to the hospital with us. Not to mention I'm due just before Christmas and who knows what the weathe will bel like. I'm hoping due to the fact that my last labour was less than an hour and half start to finish and each labour usually goes quicker than the last that my doctor will induce me just so that there's no chance of me delivering at home .. possibly alone if DH is working. Thankfully with my daughter I was 7 days overdue and scheduled to be induced the next morning so my mom was already at our house.. if she hadn't been we would have had to bring our son with us.

MAMAxB · July 2011

I agree with PP.. you still have four months. You can easily find a sitter/friend by then that your comfortable with

babywing · July 2011

sunnybrook.:
If not this, then I would start looking for a sitter. Use her occasionally before baby comes, so LO knows her. You can talk to your church, look at your local college, ask other moms, care.com, etc. I actually found our sitter through CL and she's awesome!

I would do this. Start using a sitter. Let her know what you'd need when the baby comes. She can come to your house and watch your LO when you go to the hospital and when a family member arrives leave.

christina627 · July 2011

We moved a year ago and we now have ppl we trust to watch DS, but if we were back "home" I would be planning a homebirth and I would just have my mom come up (a hour away) and watch DS...then she would be there (which she wants) but she would have someone to keep her busy instead of being in the room. Plus I want DS to be there when new baby is brand new (not for the delivery though.)