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Georgia Babies
Ethical dilemma
I told Audrey a story a LONG time ago about when I went fishing with some friends and we cooked our fish on a campfire afterward. It was a totally innocent story. But, yesterday, out of the blue she started lecturing me about how it was unkind and hateful to kill animals and that she would never ever eat an animal again. She was actually mad that we'd tricked her into eating animals by not telling her that chicken nuggets and hamburgers came from animals that we killed.
I don't really know what to do. She devoured two drumsticks last night, but I'm certain she doesn't realize it's chicken. I don't want to be deceitful in her eyes by cooking and feeding her meat when she, in no uncertain terms, has said she doesn't want any part of that whole thing. But, we eat meat. DH could NOT give that up and both kids actually really like meat and of course, it's easy to get the protein in.
What would you do? I know of vegetarian families that do just fine and while I really like to cook, I find it challenging and am not very consistent. I fear I'd come up short on nutrition if I couldn't go to my easy meaty dinners. And I know it would be stressful having to cook meals that would be complete with or without meat.
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Re: Ethical dilemma
I would absolutely respect her choice not to eat meat. It might be a quick phase -- in fact that's likely -- but honestly, I wouldn't be able to trick my kid this way.
My niece became a vegetarian at 14. She went vegan at 18 and now is 24. She is committed to her values and she is careful about the clothes and make-up she buys. While I am a meat-eating leather weaere, I totally respect my niece for being so committed and true to herseld. From her visits I have learned there are lots of options in Atlanta to support that lifestyle. I go to a couple vegetarian grocery stores and am able to buy vegan convenience foods! It's great!
If you are making chicken nuggets, you can just as easily add some vegetarian nuggets to the dish. They are available at your local grocery store. There are many options for your daughter to eat different meals than the rest of the family with very little effort.
It's a bit more work, but honestly, once you learn a little bit about it, it's very doable and will become second nature quickly.
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
I would hate to be in your shoes. Maybe you can ask her to pick a few things she will eat and as she gets older and can make better choices about what she eats, she can help you two learn to cook more vegetarian things together. But since she is already willing to eat drumsticks, etc, maybe you can just keep a handful of things on hand for her to have as her protein.
My niece declared herself a vegetarian a few years ago (she's 17) and neither she nor my sister have done any research on how to eat vegetarian, beyond not eating meat. She ends up eating way too much white starch and soy. And she doesn't eat any vegetables.
You know, the thing is, I know what to do. I totally respect that her worldview right now is that killing animals is wrong and I want to do right by her. I guess I just wanted to hear from other people. Going vegetarian is scary for me just because I'm worried I won't get the nutrition in her that she needs.
I'm actually really proud of her for speaking her mind. It's very obvious that she feels very strongly about this. I know she expects nothing less than myself and DH to respect that and help support her. I already feel really guilty for feeding her chicken last night, but I've already shopped for the week, blah blah blah.
I would be completely upfront with her. Try to figure out where she's coming from - how did she get to this point? Work with her on what she will & won't eat. And, of course, talk to your pedi about the change in her diet and what additional protein, etc. you'll need to boost.
Like Janimal said, this could be a phase or a complete lifestyle change, but I think you'll be able to work it out.
I like this approach and need to try it myself. Danielle has recently started saying this more and more, although not as forcefully/frequently as it's sounds Audrey is. Danielle stayed w/ my parents in FL last week, they went scalloping and fishing. Danielle couldn't imagine EATING those animals/sea creatures that they caught and killed. Her Papa has a gun case (that remained fully/completed locked and disarmed). She asked why he had guns and he answered matter of factly, to hunt for food (which is true, he's not a 'for fun' hunter...he truly eats EVERYTHING he kills). Danielle thought that was horrible and Papa shouldn't kill animals to eat them every again. He only assured her wouldn't hunt while she was there. Then they had chicken for dinner. My mom felt the same confliction that it sounds like you are dealing with. My mom has been a vegan for about 2 years now. Papa started to tell her, well you know Danielle the chicken you're eating is..... and my mom stopped him. He didn't understand why? In his mind, she's 5 years old, she shared her opinion so she should know and be able to understand and decide. I'm not saying my mom handled it the best (nor am I certain how I would've handled it either.)
Anyways, I obviously don't have the answers. We do eat veggie chicken nuggets at home about 97% of the time (morningstar are really really good). But we eat meat probably 2-3 nights a week. I tell her it's meat/fish, but I don't get into details about how it's a dead animal.
Maybe I'm cold and heartless, but that's the approach I'd take too.
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I actually became a vegetarian when I was 7 years old. So a little bit older than Audrey, but my mom respected my decision and she just cooked less meat throughout the week. If she made something with meat I just ate the sides or she made me an alternative. So if she made a baked pasta dish with sausage or chicken, she'd make a little dish of it w/o the meat in it, etc. Or for chili, she'd make a seperate pot using only beans, no meat. Eventually my whole family just started eating less meat. My older sister was also a vegetarian for a while, and my dad did it for a few months as well.
If she seems very convicted, then I don't necessarily think of it as being a whim. Maybe she'll try it out and change her mind. But maybe not. I stayed a vegetarian until I was like 16 or 17, and even now I contemplate going back to it.
Maybe get her involved in cooking and menu planning so she understands more fully what it takes, what is and is not meat, etc.
I read this when you first posted and I've taken some time to think about what I would really do if I was in your situation.
The first thing that I would do would be to have a frank conversation with her about the difference in killing something for harm, killing something for sport, and killing something for food. And, I don't remember if your kids watch TV or not, but I would probably let her watch the Lion King, a la Circle of Life. I'm being serious.
I think that if your whole family was vegetarian you'd have more of a leg to stand on, so to speak, for placating her requests. But at the very least I'd try getting her to understand why you feel like it is okay to eat meat.
As far as meals go, I feel like there are tons of easy vegetarian options like the morningstar nuggest, veggie burgers, etc. That you can easily use to substitue if you have meat for the rest of the family.
4 was challenging for us, Emma seemed very wise beyond her years at that age. She was incredibly verbal, she had valid thoughts, ideas and opinions on things. I would not have brushed it off as a phase if she made it clear that she didn't want to eat meat when she was that age.
Good luck, I hope you follow up with us and let us know how things are going!